You know, in the animal world, the alpha male is always laid back and calm and patient, but if pushed too far, they will calmly take care of the issue. Case in point:It's putting people into boxes and giving them labels. I hate that.
I suspect that most men would be somewhere along the spectrum between the two but I honestly have no idea what it really even means.
I have no idea where my husband falls. He is a typical Aussie, very laid back, easy going, easy to please. I love those things about him. Do those things make him beta? If so then the majority of men in Oz and NZ must also be beta. I don't know.
He also has very strong moral values, integrity and self control. Strong boundaries with the opposite sex. I also love these things about him. Do these things make him alpha? I have no idea.
The most important thing is to marry someone who you love just as they are regardless of what labels they may or may not match.
Be yourself always.
How do you not see that statement makes zero sense? You are of course entitled to your opinion, but hunting is probably one of the few things that is both "alpha" and "beta". You are engaging in a very alpha activity while providing food for your family which would be considered beta.For me a man who goes hunting is anything but alpha.
Being "alpha" fixes nothing. It's an artificial construct & sets up a destructive zero sum dynamic where one person has to lose or be less than so the other can "win."We (men) are all told to be more alpha at some point on TAM... like a miracle cure.
Alpha only at work, and quickly transform to beta once they are in their car on the way home at night!
Not if she's a pragmatist. She figured out that "alpha" doesn't earn much money, doesn't fix the car, doesn't remodel the house. Alpha is "fun", "Beta" is USEFUL. Never mind that he feels like a pack mule.....And, if the wife prefers an Alpha to who we are, wouldn't she go find the real deal rather than accepting an acting one?
actually, i was alluding to bright young WOMEN managers, who have to mix it up with the big boys. Some put on an Alpha display at work, and appear to be tough as nails. Then go home and want to be tied up in bondage in the bedroom.Good observation. these are known as social alphas. These tend to be your white knights and a term I'm not sure is used anymore - henpecked. Let's go w/ puzzy whipped. Men who have been thoroughly socially conditioned concerning female nature. Alpha men - ex-athletes, ex-military in many cases with a BluePill worldview. Numerous babyboomer men are this way.
imagine how their bedroom play unfolded!Yea, I knew a guy who was a developer, totally stereotype alpha, dominating, in command
In the boardroom. Intimidating even. Everyone walked eggshells around him.
But there was one person who out-alphed him, could rip him whenever she wanted (and often did)
People were more afraid of her than him; his wife!
At lunch my wife asked me what’s for dinner and I said tonight chicken soup with such and so, and then tomorrow this dish she really likes; but I’m not trading days for the dish order because I want to open a bottle of wine to cook with on Friday and I might sneak a glass.They need to see the trash full and snatch it up and take it out while the woman is busy cooking or packing his lunch. It's called respect.
I don't know too much about alpha and beta, but yes, always be yourself. You never want to be someone else, and plus, that person is already taken. I will ask two questions about any relationship and can get a good feel of the dynamic based off it, they are:Another thread I didn't want to hijack prompted this.
It's a question......
The other thread implies that a husband should "play alpha" or "become alpha" for his marriage's sake.
I found it quite easy to "play alpha" in my stage and platform days. I could even continue the persona for a couple of hours following the presentation.
However, it was exhausting. I was so ready for "the end" to scroll up from the bottom of the screen. I wanted nothing more than to retreat into my beta cocoon.
What do you think ?
Can it be done in a day-after-day scenario ?
What will be the result ?
Is a "greater good" available ?
Is the lie somehow sanctified by the motive ?
Is the Shakespearian quote far enough out of context as to not apply ?
You insist you're a Beta Boy. Fine. If that's the role you play, so be it. But disrespect does not mean you have to tolerate it. It's one thing to consider yourself "beta" but it's another matter to allow someone to talk to you disrespectfully. You can assert yourself and tell her to cut the crap. Frankly, you don't sound beta to me, you just sound like a doormat. JMOAre you kidding ? She never talks any other way.