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I should start by saying that I am originally from Mars and my wife is from Venus. Since I don't speak Venus very well, I need some help.

My wife is very imaginative and sensitive. She connects a certain look with what someone said and how it was said and where it was said, etc., and concludes X. She then thinks about X a lot, gathers more evidence to support X, and becomes very upset about X. Eventually she boils over about X and I end up getting blind sided by an emotional reaction over something that is either illogical or is an overreaction to something small.

My job as "husband" (transplanted from Mars) is to validate her feeling over X and make her feel OK. As a descendent of Mr. Spock, I have a very difficult time doing this, but I try. Is this the only solution to the language barrier between us? Is there a time when I can explain to her that she is over-personalizing, over-reacting, and generally making herself miserable over trivial things, not to mention creating real problems and animosity out of nothing? Or do I keep mum, continue validating her, and hope that one day she will figure it out on her own?
 

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Have you actually read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? It is a good book and will help with exactly what you are describing above.
 

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I feel like telling her about your concerns would essentially be trying to "fix" her, which never goes well for the Venutian ;) I would suggest avoiding doing so.

Also, it is YOUR viewpoint is that she is OVER sensitive and OVER doing things. But to her (and likely many other Venutians) she is entirely normal and responding to things in an understandable way. So therefore, from your wife's standpoint, she does not need you to "fix" her, or educate her that she's wrong, she needs you to be there for her when she needs you, and accept her as she is. So I would suggest going on validating her. By doing so you are taking care of a core need of your wife, and being a fantastic husband.

Now, if she comes to you specifically for advice concerning how to improve her life in this area, well, that is your cue to let her know your input at that point. :)
 
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