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I have came to the conclusion i cant get over my W A 5 years ago. At the time i was hell bent on saving our marriage. everything in my life is about family, i do everything for my family and her family. I come from good family we where taught family was life blood of everything. one big reason i have not left is i cant stand the fact i am going to have to tell my parents my marriage has failed. the sad part is my wife had a affair with a man who only wanted sex with as many women he could find. i think i could save my marriage but she want talk about it, she has no remorse for what she has done, i am tired of begging for sex and she is the most emotionless person on earth. i have alot to offer someone who wants a good man if i can ever trust again. i just got to man up, tell my family and friend we are done. this is going to be huge suprise to everyone who knows us. any advice on doing this would be great.
 

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If she shows no remorse then she is not sorry and doesn't care.

If you feel that you want out of the marriage then just step up and do it. For if she is not remorseful then there's a possibility she will do it a gain, if the opportunity presents itself. It may not happen soon but I have learned it may eventually happen.
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First, prepare and isolate your finances and assets now. Remove yourself from any joint bank accounts, credit cards, debts, loans, mortgage(if possible).

Revisit your will. Revise your beneficiaries of your insurance, accounts, etc.

You have waited 5 years, wait some more while you prepare logistically.
 

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So she had an affair with a guy who just used her for sex and even after the affair she makes you beg for it?

No remorse shows she will likely cheat again since she doesn't see that her cheating is wrong.

Are you sure she's not still cheating?

Sounds like you've really really tried. Take care of yourself and upgrade to a much kinder loving woman that doesn't cheat and that wants you in her life. Obviously your current wife doesn't want to save the marriage and doesn't value as her husband.
 

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Also, start preparing yourself psychologically. Start purposely directing your thoughts in a 'single man' direction. Tell yourself you've made the decision and it's now forward focus.

I firmly believe that we only have one life to live & that marriage should not be a prison sentence. If you tell yourself that you're 'free at last,' you'll start to feel it for real & be able to act on it.
 

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Tell family, both her and yours, that until you wife starts acting like she is remorseful and does the heavy lifting to affair proof her marriage, you will head in the direction to end the marraige. Until the risk of going through this betrayal again has been eliminated by her actions then divorce is the action *I* need to take to protect *my* emotional health.

I think that sound dam good, what do you think?
 

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If there is one thing OP needs to prepare for is the false R and all the crocideil tears when his cheating wife realizes that her husband is moving on and will no longer tolorate a sexless, emotionally abusive, and untrusting spouse.

See we all know that the WW has OP number and know his loyalty to the vows of marriage out wieght anything she can do to him. In short Op isn't going anywere in her mind.

But it appears Op has grown some ball and will not tolorate being her doormat anymore.

So you go dude and tell your folk and hers how it is and *show* your WW the new cheese buff....and by the way this is exactly what your wife sees you as...so it might be time to raise your atraction level by being alot more confident the some cheese buff.

Chick dig confident men not cheese buffs.
 

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i think my wife is turned on by be lied to.
Your wife is turned on by confident men not cheese buffs. She saw the OM as an alpha male.

Hell she may have used the OM for sex but is to ashamed to admit the women she has become. I mean I could be wrong and she is ashamed she got fooled by this smooth talker and humiliated she got used....but the possiblity that she wanted to be this dirty girl is there, since she won't even address this and face her self and learn and understand what she did, so as to prevent it from happening again.

Until she faces this head on she won't learn a damb thing about who she really is or how you can fill the need she has.

its a shame she wont own this and learn from it....sorrry brother!
 

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You wasted five yrs of your life in the hope that she will change.
Dont waste another second with her.
Dont stay with her because of what others will think about you. wah,..........
 
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