[alexsmith]

We are mid 30's and have been married for 3 years. We have a 19 month year old.

I met my wife while on vacation in brazil. We fell in love and got married, and live in the USA.

Her Dad is very sick, so I purchased her a ticket to go visit her family. She spent 3 weeks there. She took our baby so the grandparents can see him.

So she returned and we ended up fighting really bad. She said she wants a divorce etc..She said she is not happy, does not know who she is etc.. Then the next day she acts as if nothing happened.

She left and I looked at her IPAD. She has different accounts, but this one account is really just our correspondence, a gmail account. First time I ever snooped, but it was not locked, no password needed.

So, she sent a photo of herself to some guy who is also married and in Brazil. herself smiling and wearing a dress. apparently taken just for him.

I checked the email, and he is on her Facebook, but his wife is not.

I finally asked her tonight, and first she went to the bathroom and deleted the email.Then she denied sending it. Then she denied even knowing the person. then she said it was a child hood friend, but she still does not know why she sent it, or what the picture was.

I have noticed for the past few months she is always secretive with her phone , always locking it, anytime I walk by and she is on Facebook she closes the page, etc.

What should I do? Why would she be sending a married man a photo of herself while she is in Brazil? I have no other proof of anything but her reaction was very odd, and obviously it is innappropriate to be sending other men photos of yourself.

 

[keko]

She probably enjoyed banging him so much on her trip to brazil she's considering divorcing you.

Are you sure that guy is permanently in brazil and not in the states?

Given how she's hiding her phone, do you think there may be more local guys she visits?

If her phone is under your name check the call/text logs for numbers you don't know. Those will the new boyfriends of your wife.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[67flh]

get ahold of proper authorities so she can not flee the country with your kid. then do some digging.

 

[alexsmith]

Yes positive he lives in Brazil. She is always home with our baby and does not work so I am not thinking she is cheating here.

I never even thought she would or could at all. Was not much jealousy in our relationship. But she cannot explain why she sent this photo.

 

[EleGirl]

Have you checked the cell phone bill to see who she's been talking to?

 

[alexsmith]

Yes, nothing odd showed up. No obvious patterns. She talks to her mom, dad, nephews, cousins etc. I do not know every number.

I am not thinking she talks to this guy on the phone from the USA, most likely started emailing over facebook.

I do not even know if she saw him when she was in Brazil. All I saw was that she was sending him a picture. Why, I have no idea..No message attached, just a picture of herself in a dress.

 

[EleGirl]

Does she have skype?

 

[alexsmith]

Yes

 

[EleGirl]

Yes

you might want to consider getting a key logger for your computer, ipad or whatever she has. She does not need to use her phone to call him.

Is there a skyp log?

 

[Eli-Zor]

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/32002-welcome-tam-cwi-newbies-please-read.html

You have seen enough to know your wife is either in an affair or th start of one .

Remove the OM from her life by getting hold of his wife and family. Read the newbie thread above for advice how to do this
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[alexsmith]

At this point I have no idea what to do. I already confronted her.

I guess I could get some key logger for the future, but that does not help me now.

She denied she sent it, then admitted it, then said it was just a child hood friend, etc. I am just really devastated.

We have a baby that I love.. I sent him a face book message asking why my wife is sending him pictures.

 

[EleGirl]

If he was just a friend she would have told you.

Hopefully you caught this before it went too far. YOu can repair your marriage if that's what you want.

Eli-Zor gave you a link of where to start.

 

[Shaggy]

I think you should get both a keylogger on the computer and a voice activated recorder for where she might sit and talk to him, likely the computer over skype since they can video chat that way.

I would also be seeing if you can yourself made friends on FB with his wife, and learn all you can. Ideally you should create a new FB account that isn't you so her husband won't recognize you. In fact if you could make the FB account a woman it would be easier to become friends with the OMW and even with the OM without raising suspicions.

Do take actions to prevent your wife taking your child out of the country without your permission. Brazil has a horrible record of not honoring US custody cases.

 

[Machiavelli]

The first rule for Americans married to South American women is: she doesn't go home, unless you go with her. I don't care how pure you think she is.

 

[Machiavelli]

Do take actions to prevent your wife taking your child out of the country without your permission. Brazil has a horrible record of not honoring US custody cases.

Yes, this absolutely cannot be hammered on enough. Do this Monday morning.

 

[Wolfman1968]

Yes, this absolutely cannot be hammered on enough. Do this Monday morning.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

[alte Dame]

My hair is on fire reading this. This has the earmarks of an affair AND your W is from a part of the world that will not care at all if she decides to just go home forever with your child. Make sure that you have the baby's passport. Be super careful.

 

[happyman64]

What was your argument about when the blowup occurred?

Do you usually have fights like this?

 

[Thor]

Try to calm down and not show to your wife you are suspicious or worried. You confronted, she denied anything was wrong. The problem is she will now take things deeper underground. So you want her to not be too paranoid while you gather information.

You may have interrupted an affair before it really started. Or she may have had a wild hot PA while home. If you get the keyloggers in place you will know pretty soon the truth and can go from there.

Never reveal to her your sources of information from now on.

 

[alexsmith]

The first rule for Americans married to South American women is: she doesn't go home, unless you go with her. I don't care how pure you think she is.

Now she is claiming she just sent the photo to explain how expensive things are in Brazil with the dress she bought there. So he said "how is America", and she was saying how expensive things are and said "look at this dress.. It was $100. So expensive here"

She did buy the dress there, and there was no messages in the email. Just her wearing the dress. Upon looking at his Facebook he is short, ugly, about 5 ft tall, 120 lbs etc..I cannot believe she would be attracted to him, but who knows.

Since I work, and her dad is dying, I could not get the time off, and did not want to tell her she cannot go, and that her dad cannot see his grandson.