Talk About Marriage banner

221 - 238 of 238 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,446 Posts
This is what I meant about intrinsic values. 6 pack abs and a six figure salary will only attract so much. Have you seen or heard of those young men who make millions of dollars streaming themselves playing computer games, yet they are as mature as gnats? As a parent, would you want your daughters to marry one of those guys?

Most young women of quality want a mature partner who makes her feel SAFE (defined by whatever characteristics that means). Money and abs can come and go. Maturity is usually tougher to get rid of.
But I see now that without my fitness I wouldn't be as attractive to the other sex and it would be harder to find dates. So maybe it's all part of a bigger picture?
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
1,858 Posts
Hmm well I am pushing 50 and still pretty immature.

When I don’t have important meetings I wear heavy metal t shirts to work and track pants with flip flops

I have streamed video games.

I have low grade drug and alcohol issues from time to time.

I own a skateboard and go to the skate park with kids who laugh at me.

That said will be celebrating I think my 23rd anniversary next week.

Real security is not being limited. Being able to do what you want when you want to and not caring about it or being limited by time or money.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
5,556 Posts
But I see now that without my fitness I wouldn't be as attractive to the other sex and it would be harder to find dates. So maybe it's all part of a bigger picture?
Yes!!! It's a whole slew of attributes that put together add up to someone attractive. It's like baking a cake. It needs specific ingredients at proper amounts to make it taste like a cake. Some people also prefer flourless cakes. Some have allergies to eggs and milk and have to find alternatives. But there is always a whole list of things that must be mixed to make a cake. 😁
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,446 Posts
Hmm well I am pushing 50 and still pretty immature.

When I don’t have important meetings I wear heavy metal t shirts to work and track pants with flip flops

I have streamed video games.

I have low grade drug and alcohol issues from time to time.

I own a skateboard and go to the skate park with kids who laugh at me.

That said will be celebrating I think my 23rd anniversary next week.

Real security is not being limited. Being able to do what you want when you want to and not caring about it or being limited by time or money.
I am partial to AC/DC shirts and bourbon myself
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,446 Posts
Yes!!! It's a whole slew of attributes that put together add up to someone attractive. It's like baking a cake. It needs specific ingredients at proper amounts to make it taste like a cake. Some people also prefer flourless cakes. Some have allergies to eggs and milk and have to find alternatives. But there is always a whole list of things that must be mixed to make a cake. 😁
That's a good analogy!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,613 Posts
Hmm well I am pushing 50 and still pretty immature.

When I don’t have important meetings I wear heavy metal t shirts to work and track pants with flip flops

I have streamed video games.

I have low grade drug and alcohol issues from time to time.

I own a skateboard and go to the skate park with kids who laugh at me.

That said will be celebrating I think my 23rd anniversary next week.

Real security is not being limited. Being able to do what you want when you want to and not caring about it or being limited by time or money.
Funny I was just thinking, I am really immature most of the time. Glad I'm not the only one.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
247 Posts
Hmm well I am pushing 50 and still pretty immature.

When I don’t have important meetings I wear heavy metal t shirts to work and track pants with flip flops

I have streamed video games.

I have low grade drug and alcohol issues from time to time.

I own a skateboard and go to the skate park with kids who laugh at me.

That said will be celebrating I think my 23rd anniversary next week.

Real security is not being limited. Being able to do what you want when you want to and not caring about it or being limited by time or money.
That's not immature. Your bills are paid and you're stable. You just like to have fun. Big difference.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
220 Posts
Perhaps. Juvenile maybe? I will trash talk with 10 year old kids on Call of Duty.
Me too! And I'm a 38 year old female ha ha.

I find these threads interesting but REALLY hard to relate too, from personal experience. I can honestly say that I've never looked at a man and said "wow, he's hot" or "I'd do him". Not since I was in high school anyways (and I was with my kids father from 15.. so it never went anywhere). Women on the other hand, I will actually think or say out loud that girls beautiful. Not in a sexual way, just she's friggen beautiful.

The 2 men in my life have been COMPLETE opposites. My children's father, who I was with for 18 years, from the age of 15... was short, black and unfortunately sick. He was the most beautiful man I ever met and the most loving caring partner and father I could have asked for. He became unable to work because of his illness, and was not permitted to work legally until 2 years before he became physically unable (at the age of 29) because he was too sick to¹ get permanent residency in Canada under his parents who brought him here with them when he was 3 (a whole nother topic). It took 7 years from the time of our first daughters birth to get him legal status in the country he has lived in since the age of 3.


He passed away at the age of 42. My now fiance is 6' 3 (I'm 5'2), almost see through in skin color and is opposite of EVERYTHING I would have said I was looking for physically.. plus I made more money than him. He is now the most beautiful person in the world in my eyes. And he literally had everything I would have once said I hated in the looks department.

So unless I'm different from most women, I think this list is more about MEN who have these things being more CONFIDENT and attracting women with their CONFIDENCE, then it really has to do with real women looking for those things.

Sent from my SM-A530W using Tapatalk
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,807 Posts
If approaching marriage this way is helpful to some people, they should do it. I am all in favor of people thinking out what will work for them as opposed to just doing what society expects, especially when it comes to marriage.

That said, it sounds alien to me. My approach to adulthood was, establish independence, establish an enjoyable lifestyle, figure out if someone fits into it. If the standards I set for myself aren't high enough for someone else, then we just aren't a match.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
720 Posts
I can see the value in the recommendations but it is a bit pie-in-the-sky. Expecting 20-year-old men to not make a litany of dumb decisions therefore setting them back is unrealistic. 50 women and not having an unwanted pregnancy or some negative consequence... again a bit fantastical. However, to take it down a step how about we have our sons try to focus on getting college done, go on a road trip, etc. before settling down. Have the little ones too soon and there is inevitably going to be some unrequited desires that get put aside but bubble to the surface later.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,169 Posts
Not that I'm against limiting marriage to 10% of men. Would it be a mercy?
Would it just be "A Good Start"
 
221 - 238 of 238 Posts
Top