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She appears to be in the borderline personality disorder spectrum. These type of individuals will suck the life out of you and not blink an eye. I left my second husband when it finally hit me that he was a sick, abusive ****. There was no love because these type of individuals can't love, to damn sick too.

But they sure can keep you spinning and confused. They get their jollies out of this. She is like that. Get out while you still can or be doomed. You are very right in that things always get worse. How much worse do you need to experience to get the hell out of that hell?

These abusive types are easy to recognize when they blow things way out of proportion. Like her needing for you to apologize when you really didn't do anything that horrible like what @CynthiaDe exemplified. Don't wait a second longer, run a far away from this sicko as fast a you can and never look back. Your sanity depends on it. Better to run than to lose yourself for some sick ******* that didn't give a rat's behind about you because they simply can't and never will.
 

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Can you guys tell me if im wrong for being upset?
What exactly attracted you to this?

Whatever the cause, Nuvo ring hormones or she is simply a *****y brat, a nice guy routine will not work here.

Time to pull out your battle axe and go barbarian on her ass!

If she doesn't like it? Tough ****! It will be no loss if the ***** in those texts doesn't shape the hell up!
 

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What exactly attracted you to this?

Whatever the cause, Nuvo ring hormones or she is simply a *****y brat, a nice guy routine will not work here.

Time to pull out your battle axe and go barbarian on her ass!

If she doesn't like it? Tough ****! It will be no loss if the ***** in those texts doesn't shape the hell up!
I like this response. You are a Barbarian!

According to the genetic testing firm, 23 & Me, I have 3.5 % Neanderthal in me. I think I pegged out their instruments and they were too conservative in their assessment.

I would ignore her and sleep in my bed.

Divorce time.
 
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@DomF, you are not only fanning her flames, but you're pouring lighter fuel on them for her.

You don't engage an unreasonable person. You just don't. You tell her firmly that if she can't be civil, you are ending the conversation. And if she continues, YOU END IT. You ignore the rest of her texts and you carry on with what you were doing.

Apologies should be unconditional. She won't even meet you half way. She's NOT sorry, not one bit.

Dont become her supply. Learn better.


Oh, and keep those screens in a safe place off-site.
 
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By no means do I want to apologize, unfortunately it's the only way for the conversation to move forward or she will just continue with the same stuff
Why do you even want to move the conversation forward? It's obvious that once her needle is stuck and she's seeing red, that the conversation is going to deteriorate and go into the toilet.
The way you put an end to it is you END THE CONVERSATION. She can't be reasonable? You end the conversation. Don't pick it up again until she wants to discuss it. Just go on with your business and do whatever you want. IF and WHEN she cares, she'll start talking about it again. You can emphasize that you'll only talk with a CALM and REASONABLE person.


if I don't apologize then it's just a continuous stream of venom from her.
What does that say to you, exactly? Does that seem like the behavior of a reasonable person?
So, even if she's wrong, it's your job to apologize because you made her mad?
Are you afraid of her? Be honest... we won't judge you. It's very common to be afraid of the person who can easily make you walk on eggshells.


I don't see myself as weak I prefer to fight over something that worth it not a stupid misunderstanding.
Refusing to incite, fuel, or nourish a verbal fight is not weak, it is a sign of mental fortitude. You are choosing to AVOID CHILDISH GAMES.

That infuriates her even more that I don't want to get sucked into it.
Again... you have no time for childish games. Showing her you will not be roped in means that she can't use you as fuel for her fire. She has no leg to stand on. She can't "win" an argument that can't be allowed to exist.

I know I'm a type A personality but I've learned to control my anger. But everyday I feel myself more and more getting sucked into these sad fights to defend my right to have a conversation.
She's pulling out all the stops to get you sucked in so that she can use you as a supply to fuel her rage.
Do you reward a child for bad behavior by giving them candy?
Don't reward her for her bad behavior by giving her what she wants and needs.

Stop fueling the fire... throw some sand on it and let her have her tantrums alone. Do not react to her drama.
 

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Discussion Starter #28
Yes I'm reading what people are posting and I'm thinking the only way to make things better is to leave. I can't deal with this anymore. I'm getting ready to take a trip to the east coast she was suppose to come with me but threatens she isn't going like it suppose to bother me. It might have the first time she said but now I'm numb to it. I'm completely fine now going solo and not having the drama she likes to start while doing a marathon.

Last night after everything she came home with ice cream and told me she was sorry at that point I told her to stop talking I'm not interested in apologizes she either learns to treat me with respect or find someone else to use as a punching bag. She did her typical talk to respond telling me that if I didn't upset she wouldn't act that way and I need to change first. I calmly explained everyone is responsible for their own actions that if she wants to be upset she is the one causing it.

I think the logic went over her head, her response was screaming something that people control everyone else's actions and it doesn't matter you say it about how the other person takes it and if they take it wrong you need to apologize. So I told her to have a good day and walked away.
 

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I think the logic went over her head, her response was screaming something that people control everyone else's actions and it doesn't matter you say it about how the other person takes it and if they take it wrong you need to apologize. So I told her to have a good day and walked away.
Kudos to you for walking out and standing up to her. She's mental.

A trip to the east coast minus her should be wonderful. You already know exactly what's going to happen if she comes along.
 

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Last night after everything she came home with ice cream and told me she was sorry at that point I told her to stop talking I'm not interested in apologizes she either learns to treat me with respect or find someone else to use as a punching bag. She did her typical talk to respond telling me that if I didn't upset she wouldn't act that way and I need to change first. I calmly explained everyone is responsible for their own actions that if she wants to be upset she is the one causing it.
Ice cream? I hope this illustrates to you how lightly she's taking things.
 

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Ice cream? I hope this illustrates to you how lightly she's taking things.
Exactly! She is quite sick or extremely entitled, regardless of what is wrong with her; you are finally standing up to her emotional bullying.

Very glad you did this. I hope you enjoy that solo trip that you really deserve. Don't let her ruin it for you.
 

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Yes I'm reading what people are posting and I'm thinking the only way to make things better is to leave. I can't deal with this anymore. I'm getting ready to take a trip to the east coast she was suppose to come with me but threatens she isn't going like it suppose to bother me. It might have the first time she said but now I'm numb to it. I'm completely fine now going solo and not having the drama she likes to start while doing a marathon.

Last night after everything she came home with ice cream and told me she was sorry at that point I told her to stop talking I'm not interested in apologizes she either learns to treat me with respect or find someone else to use as a punching bag. She did her typical talk to respond telling me that if I didn't upset she wouldn't act that way and I need to change first. I calmly explained everyone is responsible for their own actions that if she wants to be upset she is the one causing it.

I think the logic went over her head, her response was screaming something that people control everyone else's actions and it doesn't matter you say it about how the other person takes it and if they take it wrong you need to apologize. So I told her to have a good day and walked away.
Where did you sleep last night?

You are doing much better by stopping your apologies and instead putting the issues squarely on her shoulders where it belongs. She is responsible for how she behaves - period. Good for you for pointing that out to her. It is disturbing that she thinks people control each other. I guess that absolves her of any responsibility for her life. She can always blame it on someone else. But then she wants you to apologize. How does that work? According to her logic she should be able to cause you to respond how she wants you to since she thinks she can control you. It doesn't make any sense.

People who think like her rarely change and only when something super painful happens to them that makes them realize their methods aren't working for them anymore. You can't make that happen for her. Detaching yourself from crazy is a good course of action. Trying to change her is not going to work and it doesn't look like you see that as a possibility anyway.
 

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Discussion Starter #33
Haha I know ice cream right, she thinks she can treat me like a punching bag and ice cream will fix it.
Her logic is that of a spoiled child who throws a temper tantrum. I played into it and allowed that kind of behavior to continue now I'm sick of it. If I treat you with respect I should be respected back.
The best part I refuse to drop to her level with belittling, swearing, and name calling it just pisses her off.
 

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Can you guys tell me if im wrong for being upset?
Dang, she sounds as abusive as my wife. They should get together sometime, they would probably get along!
 

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Move into another room - or better yet, tell HER to move into another room - and STOP having sex. but DO NOT move out of the house.

Unless you're renting, then ignore me.
 

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What I need to do now is find a place to stay so I can move out and file for divorce.
Do not move out at least until you have filed.

Buy a book on divorce in your state and read it thoroughly. Make appointments with a couple of attorneys and decide who you want to go with, after you have read up on this and understand the process, your rights, your responsibilities. Do not go to an attorney until you already know how it all works. That will make it easier on you and a lot less likely that you will spend money unnecessarily.

Again: Where did you sleep last night?
 

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Discussion Starter #40
DO NOT do this until you see a lawyer.[/QUOTE]

Not my first divorce unfortunately, we have no joint property or assets. Everything I own was premarriage and we both work no children so no support either way.
 
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