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So I found out the affair right before Father's Day. I bought cards from the kids, but not myself. I always buy cards for him. Fast foward to today. We are 4 months out and I am still up and down, more up though. I have cooked him dinner (sausage tortillini soup), baked him a cake, bought a card from me and one from all the kids. I wonder if he will notice that the card is humerous instead of sappy. Or if he will notice that I just signed it love your wife, instead of the letter I usually write in them. I didn't even spend a lot of time decorating the cake, oldest daughter said she would do it, but she isn't home right now. It is bothering me that I can't force myself to put forth more effort. I guess what I did should be enough.

Let's see if he falls asleep first again tonight.
 

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Don't force yourself. Your marriage is not the same today as it was last year. I hope he DOES realize it!

He has to pick up the pieces of the shattered marriage he created. And if not getting enough attention on his b-day is part of it, so be it.

As for you, have a piece of cake and celebrate yourself...you gave his bday all that you could. And he's lucky there's even a cake there.
 

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Thanks. I have been thinking all day that it is almost a year since they last spoke. The beginning of October it will be. But she made a point to wish him happy birthday last year. I just need to suck it up and put on a smile.

I know just the cure....birthday spankings for him!!!!
 

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Good plan...But make sure that one of them hurts. And follow up with an "Oops! Sorry".

We get pretty good at those fake smiles, huh?
 

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So I found out the affair right before Father's Day. I bought cards from the kids, but not myself. I always buy cards for him. Fast foward to today. We are 4 months out and I am still up and down, more up though. I have cooked him dinner (sausage tortillini soup), baked him a cake, bought a card from me and one from all the kids. I wonder if he will notice that the card is humerous instead of sappy. Or if he will notice that I just signed it love your wife, instead of the letter I usually write in them. I didn't even spend a lot of time decorating the cake, oldest daughter said she would do it, but she isn't home right now. It is bothering me that I can't force myself to put forth more effort. I guess what I did should be enough.

Let's see if he falls asleep first again tonight.
Just curious did you do it out of hope/love or a sense of obligation?

I think it was nice of you to put yourself out there a little bit like that, even if it wasnt as much as usual.
 

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Just curious did you do it out of hope/love or a sense of obligation?

I think it was nice of you to put yourself out there a little bit like that, even if it wasnt as much as usual.
I did it out of love. But I miss the fact that it was never this hard before.

As an update, he did thank me for the dinner and cake.
 
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