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The wrong way v's the right way

885 Views 4 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  Bellavista, 
Bellavista
Today I went out in the car that H normally used and I noticed he had a speeding fine notice on the seat. He was booked earlier that morning.
The third fine for speeding in as many months, he has racked up over $600 in fines thus far.

Now I was really angry, I mean, how hard is it to obey the speed limit?

My first instinct was to rush back into the house when I got home & give him what for. Let him know how disappointed I was & that it just was not acceptable.

However...

I thought better of that. I am not his keeper, I am not his conscience. Vomitting my rage all over him would achieve nothing.

So

When I came home he was running on the treadmill. I simply said 'Don't run too fast, you might get another ticket.' He puffed, "Haha, I know, I have to watch the speed.'

That is how I have to handle theses things. Take the time to think before I blurt.
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Maneo
Always good to pause and think before acting, especially when angry. However besides the $600 in fines and possible impact on his driver's license, there is also his safety as an accident is more likely when speeding.
You might want o ratchet up your response just a bit.
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M
These days I would say something direct but without the anger or the sarcasm.

"I was upset and angry to see another speeding ticket in the car."

Said after I'd calmed down of course.
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D
Forget that. $600?? That's a lot of money. And I would have said just that. And also, "Think about the things we could have bought with that." and left it at that.
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Bellavista
He knows I am unimpressed about the speeding, he knows that his driving habits are the reason I drive when we are together.
There is only so much anger you can give out without becoming a harpie. Yes I am annoyed about the money aspect, but he is grown up, he works for himself so he knows exactly how many jobs he has to do to pay for his lead foot.
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