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152 Posts
19 months ago I decided to call a MC, I had given my husband a good month and a half to find one but he couldn't. It was a way of him trying to get out of it.
He had once again gotten seriously drunk, went to a strip club, blew $6k, lied to me and everyone, he searched for prostitutes on his phone, called one, says nothing happened...., then police came and took him to the hospital at the club for being belligerent. I found out most of the information on my own. He til this day, says he does not 'remember', and doesn't know a lot of things. This is not his first time doing thing or using those excuses. Moving on,
The therapist I found began seeing us for MC, they then suggested he see them individually, and then within a month I started seeing them on my own too bc I had an anxiety disorder that was worsening.
Shortly thereafter, she began suggesting that I have a child with him. I pointed out that I was not done with college and that I would have no means of supporting myself were he to leave me or vice versa. I had also recently miscarried prior to what he did, about a few weeks before.
They suggested we go on vacation, they suggested he spend $6k on me so that I would not say that he spent more money on strange women than he did on me, they told me that my anxiety would not worsen if I got pregnant, instead it would get 'better' bc of the 'hormones and stuff', they said i should 'move on' and would frequently ask if I would rather be 'happy or right'. Which, I don't see why I can't have both. They discouraged me from asking questions about what happened, frequently telling me it was in the 'past', but I would say that if he 'doesn't know' why he did it, then obviously he would be bound to repeat it, as he had done.
When he would not answer my questions in therapy, she would say, 'He doesn't remember' sometimes that happens when you drink, thus encouraging his lies. She would hint at things such as, maybe he is going out to seek things that aren't right at home, then she would add, 'I'm not saying this is happening in your case, but sometimes men do that", and other things along those lines. When I lost another pregnancy, all I was told was that I would not get hw that week because I was grieving. My feelings were not discussed.
I started to tell my sister about this, as well as my other friend. I can't say I know everything but this advice does NOT seem right.
In the end I stopped going because I was tired of being asked about a baby all the time. Instead of her nagging him about fixing his drinking and sexual issues, she would nag me about having a baby, and tell me that would fix things?!?! huh? Isn't that something you would see on tv? I had a baby to fix him and he didn't change so now I'm a single mom who can't support herself. I mean, that's what would've happened to me had I heeded their stupid advice.
I feel that I sought professional help and was highly let down. I think that since I have decided I've had enough of his crap I want to get divorced. I am 27, and have no children, I just graduated college, I am not an alcoholic nor do I have a drug problem. I simply have stress related problems, such as an anxiety disorder, IBS, frequent headaches and migraines. I believe my stress comes from him.
In another forum I was advised to seek a Chemical dependency counselor in order to help me because I've lived with him for so long. What should I do?
Should I seek a psychiatrist/psychologist/ chemical dep. counselor/ another therapist?
I just think I am going to need help resolving issues that will most likely come up in the divorce.
He had once again gotten seriously drunk, went to a strip club, blew $6k, lied to me and everyone, he searched for prostitutes on his phone, called one, says nothing happened...., then police came and took him to the hospital at the club for being belligerent. I found out most of the information on my own. He til this day, says he does not 'remember', and doesn't know a lot of things. This is not his first time doing thing or using those excuses. Moving on,
The therapist I found began seeing us for MC, they then suggested he see them individually, and then within a month I started seeing them on my own too bc I had an anxiety disorder that was worsening.
Shortly thereafter, she began suggesting that I have a child with him. I pointed out that I was not done with college and that I would have no means of supporting myself were he to leave me or vice versa. I had also recently miscarried prior to what he did, about a few weeks before.
They suggested we go on vacation, they suggested he spend $6k on me so that I would not say that he spent more money on strange women than he did on me, they told me that my anxiety would not worsen if I got pregnant, instead it would get 'better' bc of the 'hormones and stuff', they said i should 'move on' and would frequently ask if I would rather be 'happy or right'. Which, I don't see why I can't have both. They discouraged me from asking questions about what happened, frequently telling me it was in the 'past', but I would say that if he 'doesn't know' why he did it, then obviously he would be bound to repeat it, as he had done.
When he would not answer my questions in therapy, she would say, 'He doesn't remember' sometimes that happens when you drink, thus encouraging his lies. She would hint at things such as, maybe he is going out to seek things that aren't right at home, then she would add, 'I'm not saying this is happening in your case, but sometimes men do that", and other things along those lines. When I lost another pregnancy, all I was told was that I would not get hw that week because I was grieving. My feelings were not discussed.
I started to tell my sister about this, as well as my other friend. I can't say I know everything but this advice does NOT seem right.
In the end I stopped going because I was tired of being asked about a baby all the time. Instead of her nagging him about fixing his drinking and sexual issues, she would nag me about having a baby, and tell me that would fix things?!?! huh? Isn't that something you would see on tv? I had a baby to fix him and he didn't change so now I'm a single mom who can't support herself. I mean, that's what would've happened to me had I heeded their stupid advice.
I feel that I sought professional help and was highly let down. I think that since I have decided I've had enough of his crap I want to get divorced. I am 27, and have no children, I just graduated college, I am not an alcoholic nor do I have a drug problem. I simply have stress related problems, such as an anxiety disorder, IBS, frequent headaches and migraines. I believe my stress comes from him.
In another forum I was advised to seek a Chemical dependency counselor in order to help me because I've lived with him for so long. What should I do?
Should I seek a psychiatrist/psychologist/ chemical dep. counselor/ another therapist?
I just think I am going to need help resolving issues that will most likely come up in the divorce.
