[kingsfan]

Hi everyone.

I guess I'll add my name to the list of singles on TAM. Been around here for several years though not as much the past year or so. Me and the now ex split a week ago tonight. Was my choice. It was hard, and I'm a bit bummed right now but still think it was for the best. Long story short, she and my oldest son weren't even close to seeing eye to eye and it wasn't getting better or going to get better (despite her claims otherwise IMO). That was the biggest reason for the split. Our sex life had also been on the skids for some time, which is originally what brought me to TAM years ago.

I just want to say TAM has been a great source of help and comfort in the sense I get the feeling I'm not alone in going through all of this, so thanks to some of the posters who are still around that have been positive advisors and those that have helpfully kicked my in the ass over the years. You're all good people.

 

[bravenewworld]

I just want to say TAM has been a great source of help and comfort in the sense I get the feeling I'm not alone in going through all of this, so thanks to some of the posters who are still around that have been positive advisors and those that have helpfully kicked my in the ass over the years. You're all good people.

I'm going to second the above because kingsfan said it better than I ever could! Been lurking more than posting as of late and enjoying reading all the singles of tam adventures. Y'all wild!

Life post-d (shoot, over two years now, how time flies!) has been great. Except for the fact I've realized I am still stuck in single mode with a lot of "trigger issues." I actually like being single, but I hate the fact someone can say something on a date and it puts me on edge. Or is that natural?

For example, went out with a friend of a friend. Nice guy, fun time. He told me a story about how his mother (allegedly) took his father on a ride via alimony, then later asked if I collect alimony from my ex. I was so shocked I sputtered out a "no" and tried to change the subject. Is it normal to ask questions like that? Lately felt like people ask me really personal questions on dates. Maybe I'm just fussy. All systems red alert!!

Anyone enjoying being single more than being coupled up? Like I said, it's been over two years now and I still can't get excited about being in a relationship. #divorcedproblems

 

[kingsfan]

I'm going to second the above because kingsfan said it better than I ever could! Been lurking more than posting as of late and enjoying reading all the singles of tam adventures. Y'all wild!

Life post-d (shoot, over two years now, how time flies!) has been great. Except for the fact I've realized I am still stuck in single mode with a lot of "trigger issues." I actually like being single, but I hate the fact someone can say something on a date and it puts me on edge. Or is that natural?

For example, went out with a friend of a friend. Nice guy, fun time. He told me a story about how his mother (allegedly) took his father on a ride via alimony, then later asked if I collect alimony from my ex. I was so shocked I sputtered out a "no" and tried to change the subject. Is it normal to ask questions like that? Lately felt like people ask me really personal questions on dates. Maybe I'm just fussy. All systems red alert!!

Anyone enjoying being single more than being coupled up? Like I said, it's been over two years now and I still can't get excited about being in a relationship. #divorcedproblems

Thanks BNW.

Though I'm not even back into the dating scene, I'd assume asking anyone financial questions on (what I assume is) the first date is a no no. Asking financial questions about a divorce is even more so. Finances to me are private, you need to have a certain level of relationship to start digging into money on the first date.

First date money discussion should start and end with 'Are we going Dutch?'

 

[RandomDude]

Anyone enjoying being single more than being coupled up? Like I said, it's been over two years now and I still can't get excited about being in a relationship. #divorcedproblems

Sure, then hornyness kicks in after a while =/

...making you do silly things

 

[bravenewworld]

Sure, then hornyness kicks in after a while =/

...making you do silly things

Tell me about it. I swear every date I've been on over the past year has been 99% due to "feeling horny" and 1% "I need companionship." Wish I was one of those people who could have NSA hookups, but I need some type of connection otherwise I become self-conscious and it's awkward.

Urgggggghhhhh (the sound of frustration)

 

[RandomDude]

Haha same

Hence my schizo behaviour as of late, on one hand I have an established single lifestyle, on the other, I'm still get annoying messages from down below >.<

After a year of serenity and celibacy now I embarrassed myself twice already in 2016, and going for the hat trick! Bah!

 

[kingsfan]

I'll be there too. And it won't take a year to get there either.

 

[bravenewworld]

Not looking forward to the aftermath of whatever comes next....

 

[kingsfan]

Was reading the online dating thread. Interesting read.

I'm nowhere near ready to get back into the dating scene but I figure if I do it will be via online dating at first. Seems like an easy way to meet people without any commitment if things go to fast. I imagine it's hard to know when you are actually ready to date and I could see myself thinking I am, start talking to a lady and suddenly going through the rolodex of emotions and questions that will likely flood into my head. Seems like it would be easier to pull back if need be on someone you have never actually taken on a date yet, or even met.

 

[Hopeful Cynic]

For example, went out with a friend of a friend. Nice guy, fun time. He told me a story about how his mother (allegedly) took his father on a ride via alimony, then later asked if I collect alimony from my ex. I was so shocked I sputtered out a "no" and tried to change the subject. Is it normal to ask questions like that? Lately felt like people ask me really personal questions on dates. Maybe I'm just fussy. All systems red alert!!

Maybe financial independence is a dealbreaker/boundary for him, and he doesn't want to waste time getting to know someone who doesn't meet it? That's the only reason I can think of for asking personal questions like that so early on - checking for dealbreakers. For example, making sure someone is fully divorced and not just separated.

Or maybe he's just socially inept and doesn't feel it's inappropriate.

Anyone enjoying being single more than being coupled up? Like I said, it's been over two years now and I still can't get excited about being in a relationship. #divorcedproblems

I enjoy being single. I'm also excited about the idea of some day being in a relationship again, a good one. I just can't find time to put in the work to find one!

 

[RandomDude]

OMFG what is up with today? My car broke down AND my phone battery is dead (STUPID SMARTPHONES FK!), AND I have a new client this week... Oh hell why does everything have to happen at once?!?!?!?! SH-T!!!!!!!!!!

Ah hell looks like I'm going to have to spend a few hundred bucks just on FKING TAXIS TODAY.... SH-T

Edit: Fixed, thank the heavens! *sigh* Stress stress stress... sure could use sexy time right about now... *sigh again*

 

[TheGoodGuy]

OMFG what is up with today? My car broke down AND my phone battery is dead (STUPID SMARTPHONES FK!), AND I have a new client this week... Oh hell why does everything have to happen at once?!?!?!?! SH-T!!!!!!!!!!

Ah hell looks like I'm going to have to spend a few hundred bucks just on FKING TAXIS TODAY.... SH-T

Edit: Fixed, thank the heavens! *sigh* Stress stress stress... sure could use sexy time right about now... *sigh again*

What was the issue with your car?
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[Mr The Other]

I had two dates this weekend. The first one did the now normal thing of confirming and then not showing up (oh the the good old days when they would send a text cancelling). The second one is today.

 

[FeministInPink]

I had two dates this weekend. The first one did the now normal thing of confirming and then not showing up (oh the the good old days when they would send a text cancelling). The second one is today.

The number of times I've been stood up on dates makes me want to require a monetary deposit from men when they make the date. If they don't show, I get to keep the money. If they do show, the deposit goes towards paying for the date.

 

[FeministInPink]

I'm going to second the above because kingsfan said it better than I ever could! Been lurking more than posting as of late and enjoying reading all the singles of tam adventures. Y'all wild!

Life post-d (shoot, over two years now, how time flies!) has been great. Except for the fact I've realized I am still stuck in single mode with a lot of "trigger issues." I actually like being single, but I hate the fact someone can say something on a date and it puts me on edge. Or is that natural?

For example, went out with a friend of a friend. Nice guy, fun time. He told me a story about how his mother (allegedly) took his father on a ride via alimony, then later asked if I collect alimony from my ex. I was so shocked I sputtered out a "no" and tried to change the subject. Is it normal to ask questions like that? Lately felt like people ask me really personal questions on dates. Maybe I'm just fussy. All systems red alert!!

Anyone enjoying being single more than being coupled up? Like I said, it's been over two years now and I still can't get excited about being in a relationship. #divorcedproblems

No, it is NOT normal to ask a question like that. It sounds like he has some hang-ups about his parents' divorce, which might be a red flag...

Yes, aside from the hornyness, most of the time single-hood seems like the most attractive option. Especially once you start dating, and you see what your options are

 

[Mr The Other]

The number of times I've been stood up on dates makes me want to require a monetary deposit from men when they make the date. If they don't show, I get to keep the money. If they do show, the deposit goes towards paying for the date.

Is this an American thing, or is it something happening in the last few years?

Back in the UK, women always said yes, but would cancel by text. That is why I had assumed it was a woman thing. Sorry to hear it is worse than that.

 

[FeministInPink]

Is this an American thing, or is it something happening in the last few years?

Back in the UK, women always said yes, but would cancel by text. That is why I had assumed it was a woman thing. Sorry to hear it is worse than that.

It might well be an American thing, I don't know. It's pretty difficult to find manner and courtesy in our society these days.

I frequently feel like this:

 

[RandomDude]

What was the issue with your car?
Posted via Mobile Device

Battery -.-

Was under warranty too! Just wasnt a good day for batteries yesterday, phone included >.<

The number of times I've been stood up on dates makes me want to require a monetary deposit from men when they make the date. If they don't show, I get to keep the money. If they do show, the deposit goes towards paying for the date.

I had two dates this weekend. The first one did the now normal thing of confirming and then not showing up (oh the the good old days when they would send a text cancelling). The second one is today.

Perils of online dating

 

[bravenewworld]

It might well be an American thing, I don't know. It's pretty difficult to find manner and courtesy in our society these days.

I frequently feel like this:

:lol:

There's a stereotype that men go nuts if they don't "clean the pipes" every so often, but dammit, women go nuts too! Why is it so hard to find someone cool and fun and non-crazy to do that with?

 

[bravenewworld]

I had two dates this weekend. The first one did the now normal thing of confirming and then not showing up (oh the the good old days when they would send a text cancelling). The second one is today.

I've never had someone stand me up; the problem is they do show up and say crazy $hit like the following:

"I'm in recovery from being in a cult."

"I really miss my neighbor. I use to have threesomes with her and her husband."

"You have pets? I'm allergic to pets. Would you ever give them away?"

"Damn girl, those tight pants you're wearing had me rock hard all through dinner."

"My usual type is someone younger." (Said by a guy ten years older than me.)

Actual quotes from first dates I've been on. ::facepalm::