[muskrat]

I thought it would be neat to start a thread for all the new singles here at TAM. As we all know it is hard for others to understand what we have been through without experiencing it themselves. So this thread is a place to discuss moving forward with life. Meeting new people, dating (when and how) and who knows maybe maybe someone will make a connection here. Anyway this is just a place to share your experiences and get and give advice for others.

 

[unsure78]

HI Muskrat! Good to hear you are surviving...

 

[vi_bride04]

What if we already made a connection here? lol

 

[Almostrecovered]

did somebody call for a creepy stalker?

 

[muskrat]

I will go first. I am still legally married. My stbxw moved out 13 months ago after an 18 month in house separation. The divorce is going very slowly (mainly due to her unwillingness to discuss anything). I recently filed for custody of our 2 kids, dd age 7 and ds age 4.
So my question is when is the right time to start dating? I am not looking for a serious relationship right now, but it would be nice to go on some casual dates.
Where is the best place to meet new people? I work alone and live in a small town.
What is the best way to approach someone of interest? There is a lady from my church who I know is single and I find attractive. How do I approach her to get to know her better? I know her kids and they are very friendly and outgoing (they are in a class I teach). I want to talk to her, but I am not sure where to start or what to say.

 

[arbitrator]

Can I join? Hopefully in just a few more days, when and if the gavel finally falls?

 

[muskrat]

wow, you ladies are fast! lol
If you already made a connection that is great. You can still add some input and advice for others.

 

[unsure78]

did somebody call for a creepy stalker?

Im fully single again AR... you are free to stalk

 

[Almostrecovered]

Im fully single again AR... you are free to stalk

oh noes! what happened to buff engineer dude?

 

[unsure78]

Muskrat just start talking to her about her kids... easy since you are in a class you teach. however if it progresses to dating i would make sure you are clear on you intentions that you are just looking for casual. ( though knowing you muskrat im going to guess you will go all in )

 

[unsure78]

oh noes! what happened to buff engineer dude?

engy ended up being a commitment phobe he panicked and freaked out when it was time to take the next step... just happened a little bit ago... im heartbroken but im sure ill be ok, im sure i will find some guy out there to love me

 

[Almostrecovered]

engy ended up being a commitment phobe he panicked and freaked out when it was time to take the next step... just happened a little bit ago... im heartbroken but im sure ill be ok, im sure i will find some guy out there to love me

I'm sure you will, you are fantastic catch imo
shame engy ended up being a dummy in letting you go

 

[unsure78]

I'm sure you will, you are fantastic catch imo
shame engy ended up being a dummy in letting you go

Thanks AR

 

[Dedicated2Her]

How do I approach her to get to know her better? I know her kids and they are very friendly and outgoing (they are in a class I teach). I want to talk to her, but I am not sure where to start or what to say.

Tread very carefully here, rat. Dating within the current social circle when you already know the kids can be treacherous. There can be a comfort level that allows the kids to see too much too soon. Plus, if it goes badly, it's drama on everyone. Do everything in your power to keep your dating life away from both sets of kids.

 

[vi_bride04]

wow, you ladies are fast! lol
If you already made a connection that is great. You can still add some input and advice for others.

My advice: BE YOURSELF

If you date someone who doesn't like something about who you are as a person get rid of them. Or if you seem to clash when you are doing nothing but being yourself...ditch em. No time for that crap. If someone can't respect you for being you they are not worth your time.

And if you aren't sure who "you" are, date yourself first. And make a list of the character traits you want out of a partner if you are looking for something LT.

 

[Ceegee]

...if it progresses to dating i would make sure you are clear on you intentions that you are just looking for casual. ( though knowing you muskrat im going to guess you will go all in )

Finding this to be very true. Extremely important. Best to bring it up early in casual conversation as one of your general conditions.

Started to see a woman that I thought was on the same page. Turned out after just a couple of dates she was expecting a commitment.

This, among other things, tells me she emotionally unprepared. It's too bad.

 

[3Xnocharm]

Singleton here. I think I am ready to try a date or two. My issue is that men never ask me out, and I have made a pact with myself to NOT be the one to pursue or make the first move any more. So I will probably remain dateless forever, lol!

 

[unsure78]

Singleton here. I think I am ready to try a date or two. My issue is that men never ask me out, and I have made a pact with myself to NOT be the one to pursue or make the first move any more. So I will probably remain dateless forever, lol!

really? can I ask why you wont make the first move?

 

[Ceegee]

Singleton here. I think I am ready to try a date or two. My issue is that men never ask me out, and I have made a pact with myself to NOT be the one to pursue or make the first move any more. So I will probably remain dateless forever, lol!

3X - you, me...dinner this Saturday night. I'll pick you up at 7:00.

 

[hope4family]

Single. Divorce is over. Have my son about 70-90% of the time.

I'm trying as much new stuff as I can before I consider getting into a serious relationship. I do enjoy how things are working out thus far. My biggest concern is actually being successful in a relationship and then falling out of my comfort zone in meeting new people and making new friends.

But when its a concern at least then you can work on it. Life is strange.