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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi all

Having been fascinated by all the Alpha/Beta talk that goes on round these parts, I have been thinking for a little while that hubz isn't quite either, kind of.

I came across this and thought it gave a somewhat apt, if lighthearted look at what a sigma is.

I can definitely say that hubz is like Wolverine. Except for the claws and things :D
 

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I did this post in the Parenting section awhile ago.. for more clarification... I was told by Machiavelli.... who seems very well read on all of these things...that from my many posts on the Alpha/Beta thing... I tend to go for Sigma/ Gammas (which he labeled my husband)... which is kinda rare.. but I believe this to be very true of myself.

To complicate things further, you can add ....a host more labels in this besides Alpha / Beta... we also have Deltas, Gammas, Lambdas , Sigma's and Omegas. A little explanation here:

http://talkaboutmarriage.com/mens-clubhouse/46682-alpha-betas-delta-etc.html


The Alpha Traits are those associated with classic “manly man” strengths. Power, dominance, physical ability, bravery, wealth, cool and confidence. Oh and good genes. These are the things that attract women and turn them on sexually. The Alpha Traits are linked to the dopamine response in women.

Alpha = attraction building = Dopamine = In Love = Excitement
The Beta Traits are those associated with the strengths of being a nice guy / “family man”. Kindness, being a good listener, the ability to help with the children, dependability, thoughtfulness, compassion and patience. These all create a sense of comfort and safety for the woman, and relax her because she feels that if she became pregnant, the Beta Trait male isn’t going to abandon her and the baby.

Beta = comfort building = Oxytocin / Vasopressin = Pair Bond = Calm Enjoyment"
So Alpha Traits create attraction and that “in love” feeling, and Beta Traits create the pair bond and makes her feel relaxed enough to have sex. You need a balance of both Alpha and Beta in a marriage to maximize her desire to have sex with you.

Delta Males: These kind of guys put off a good front of acting like they're "Alpha males" by conforming into whatever is fashionable and admired by the masses. Most of these men (if you can call them that) need a lot of assurance by society to the point of having little backbone to think for themselves. Sure, many Delta males are surrounded by "friends" and are good at get their fair share of girls by "wooing" them with some pop-culture nonsense (whether it's A&F-style gauche preppiness or poser hip-hop wannabe thuggishness), but that crowd and attention is more imperative for their self-esteem than anything else. For if you take away all of the girls from them and get these same males by themselves, a Delta male's personality completely changes and their "true self" is revealed. Many of these kind of guys are rather weak-minded, crowd-pleasing, conformists who aren't even worthy of the name "Covert Betas" and "Betas in the Closet."
Gamma Males: These kind of dudes are more or less self-reliant, self-motivated, and self-assured in their own personality that no one can change their ways. Some of these kind of males are considered loners, but this is not to case for all Gamma Males. Because of their stern personality, many people tend to write off these men as "Betas" by default because they won't conform to being whatever "Chic Alpha" trait exists during that time period.

The man who's confident in his own self-worth and looks is said to go a long way with what women want. But as for recent times (I'll say since the early 2000s), most females are more impressed with being "wooed" with inane attributes, something that most Gamma males will refuse to do unless their original personality is what woos the female. These men, until recently, have had no problems getting with "American females" but recently, even these males are getting thrown in the "weak male" shelf because of their lack of conforming to the masses.

Though getting women - even in today's time - isn't as much of a problem as it is for the "stereotypical Alpha Male," this is still a concern for quite a few Gamma males who were either born too recent (those in their teens and twenties) or those who live in areas where narcissism and American pop-culture rule the minds of the masses.
Lambdas - the gays. They have their own social hierarchy. They can fill any role from Alpha to Omega, but they tend to play the part rather than actually be it because the heterosexual social construct only encompasses the public part of their lives. Example: Neil Patrick Harris. Suggestion: Straights will be more tolerant if you keep the bathhouse behavior behind closed doors.
Sigmas - the lone wolves. Occasionally mistaken for Alphas, particularly by women and Alphas, they are not leaders and will actively resist the attempt of others to draft them. Alphas instinctively view them as challenges and either dislike or warily respect them. Some Deltas and most Omegas fancy themselves Sigmas, but the true Sigma's withdrawal from the pack is not a reaction to the way he is treated, it is pure instinct. Example: Clint Eastwood's movie persona. Suggestion: Entertain the possibility that other people are not always Hell. The banal idiocy is incidental, it's not intentional torture.
Omegas - the losers. Even the Gamma males despise them. That which doesn't kill them can make them stronger, but most never surmount the desperate need to belong caused by their social rejection. Omegas can be the most dangerous of men because the pain of their constant rejection renders the suffering of others completely meaningless in their eyes. Omegas tend to cluster in defensive groups; the dividing line between the Omega and the Sigma is twofold and can be easily recognized by a) the behavior of male Betas and Deltas and b) the behavior of women. Women tend to find outliers attractive in general, but while they respond to Sigmas almost as strongly as they do to Alphas, they correctly find Omega males creepier and much scarier than Gamma males. Example: Eric Harris Suggestion: Your rejection isn't entirely personal. Observe the difference in your own behavior and the way the Betas act. And try not to start off conversations with women by sharing "interesting facts" with them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Ah yeah I remember reading that post. It makes for some interesting thinking, I know I read through it and instantly can "identify" men I know who fit those descriptions.

Hubz is def that loner type that is the sigma... He has elements of beta around the kids (and sometimes me!) and is alpha at times but I just never felt that dichotomy was "him" at all. Like he is very independent and doesn't care what people think. A bit of a mystery at times. I think that sigma describes him really well.
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hmm...Now I have to think about myself...
beta/sigma/alpha...
 

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Alpha and beta behavioral traits and alpha-beta-gamma-delta-sigma-omega-lambda status in sociosexual hierarchy are different.

The Alpha Male of the group(AMOG) is the leader, the center of attention, the classic star of the football team who is dating the prettiest cheerleader, the successful business executive with the beautiful, stylish, blonde, size zero wife. On the other hand it's a hugely stressful lifestyle, as status is dynamic and if you aren't at the top, you'll lose those extra benefits you gain from that status very fast.

Beta status isn't inherently nice, you can be the beta in a gang. It's actually not a bad spot, just one step down from the highest, not suffering any leadership challenges and still benefiting a lot(though not as much as an alpha) from the total status of the group.

Beta behavioral trait however is vastly different. It is the traits that is needed in the modern age. It is the traits that build "comfort" or "rapport" in a relationship.(As described by SimplyAmorous in the previous post.)

Edit: On the other hand though, although it's a lot of fun, such complicated methodology isn't really that necessary.

Edit 2: Different bloggers have different ideas on such hierarchy. For example Roissy's hierarchy goes alpha(good)-beta(bad)-omega(worse). Athol's goes like alpha(not enough beta)-beta(not enough alpha)-gamma(balanced alpha and beta traits)-omega(devoid of such traits, date this man at your own peril.).

The one to pick really depends on what your endgame is, actually.
 

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The need to label and be labeled is getting out of hand.
I tend to think of it in terms as "describing" someone rather than "defining" them. All it really is, is a group of personality traits attached to a "label"...
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Like he is very independent and doesn't care what people think. A bit of a mystery at times.
Mine is like this too...though he cares a great deal about how his kids and me FEEL....

His attitude has always went something like this... he treats people with Kindness, the way he would want treated... always pleasant, will talk to you with a :)... if someone didn't like him or whatever not....so long as they can not affect his life, family and livelihood... it's no skin off his back....nothing but mental baggage - cause he wouldn't want to be like them anyway, he'd just feel they are Pricks or something....

I've always worried more about what people think - over him, where I would argue with someone for understanding....then get all bent out of shape if I was rejected, I'd have to mull over these things in order to "let go"....he'd just walk away, let it roll off his back.

But I do DIG this about him...I need a little more of that myself !
 

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Any guy who is here and has a working marriage is likely to get one of the "desired" labels.
Any guy who is here because e found out that he was married to a cheater and it took years to discover it, gets one of the "boobie prize" labels that can be synonymous with STUPID.
 
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