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You may be right.
But it would be cruel to say or even think that was God whom put his wife in his path.
I have a minute, so why not.
God says: I am the alpha, the omega. The first and the last. The beginning and the end.
It may do well to ponder this for a few minutes.
On a lighter note, God is love. Therefore everything that occurs, down to the last most minuscule detail is...Love.
Best to look at what we perceive as the downside of life in a much larger context, since we're bringing God into it.

Don't have anything really to say to the op beyond best wishes and happy hunting ; )
 

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You mentioned your son heard you and your wife arguing. He asked you what was going on and you said you explained the situation and he said "dad's right".

How much detail did you tell your son?

Have you asked him why he agrees with you?

He was there with your wife while you were gone (you hadn't arrived in Italy yet). Did he witness anything going on between your wife and OM?

I know it's a delicate situation but have you asked him?
 

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I have a minute, so why not.
God says: I am the alpha, the omega. The first and the last. The beginning and the end.
It may do well to ponder this for a few minutes.
On a lighter note, God is love. Therefore everything that occurs, down to the last most minuscule detail is...Love.
Best to look at what we perceive as the downside of life in a much larger context, since we're bringing God into it.

Don't have anything really to say to the op beyond best wishes and happy hunting ; )
Since I was answering the post I quoted and my answer haves frame in the OP situation, my words take a specific situated meaning.
I thank your kind words.
I don´t find them specially related to what I´ve said, anyhow.
Best wishes.
 

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All, thanks for the advice but I cannot pay a PI without her finding out. Short term I will try to do things myself by planting VARs in the car and house, key logger in the home computer and by checking for burner phones.

Anyone know where the usual hiding spots are for burner phones? I’ve read somewhere else that she will always hide it wherever there’s clutter. As far as the VAR in the car is concerned, where’s the best hiding spot?
Why don't you address the legitimacy of your story in light of the implausible Italy allegation. Seems like complete nonsense.
 

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OM is supposedly a wealthy real-estate tycoon 10 years older than OP's STBXW, living in a $3 million mansion. He hired on recently for "benefits" at school where OP's STBXW "worked" . The school is a hotbed of sex, so no doubt everyone knew about STBXW n OM. The tycoon flew to Italy to have a boat engine repaired. Last I looked RT NYC/Rome could be had for about $500. Lot less than $3000. SYBXW had been saving up, maybe she paid his airfare.
 

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Right, lots of highly successful realtors with 3 million dollar homes, take second jobs to get health benefits.
And, lots of school teachers or administrators have second homes in Italy.
Where did I say anything about health benefits? I said "benefits" wink wink. Truthfully no one has any idea if the OM actually works at the school. That is STBXW's story. OP also doesn't know how often STNXW actually works at the school doing psychology either.

OP also has highly paid technical position. STBXW is school psychologist. So between them they pulling good money. Home in Italy not out of realm of reason for wealthy people.
 

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Discussion Starter · #312 ·
You mentioned your son heard you and your wife arguing. He asked you what was going on and you said you explained the situation and he said "dad's right".

How much detail did you tell your son?

Have you asked him why he agrees with you?

He was there with your wife while you were gone (you hadn't arrived in Italy yet). Did he witness anything going on between your wife and OM?

I know it's a delicate situation but have you asked him?
I did. He said he woke up when the guy was outside talking to her. A neighbor I know told me that he did NOT see them going inside the house. BUT!!! This is a guy I specifically asked my wife NOT to talk or see again because I could see the person I fell in love with, the mother of my child slipping through my fingers and I felt there was nothing I could do to prevent it from happening… man, this is tearing me apart.
 

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I did. He said he woke up when the guy was outside talking to her. A neighbor I know told me that he did NOT see them going inside the house. BUT!!! This is a guy I specifically asked my wife NOT to talk or see again because I could see the person I fell in love with, the mother of my child slipping through my fingers and I felt there was nothing I could do to prevent it from happening… man, this is tearing me apart.
You can only be a chump if you allow it. Laying in the victim chair won’t get you a thing.
 

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Discussion Starter · #315 ·
We dont know what added info OP has received. Or processing past events he has more clarity than ever before. And his STBXW wont answer his questions. So filing divorce papers is IMO appropriate. No reason to stew about it. If she wants to stop the process she can try, but doubt she wants to. She is a trained psychologist, expert at manipulating people. OP and OM for example.

The ONLY thing I believe he is doing wrong is trying to mount a new mare before the old one is gone from his stable.
It’s really not a mare… the lady and I hit it off. I have so much in common with her. We even agreed to keep on talking AFTER the divorce and see if this takes us anywhere.

It’s BLUNTLY clear the mother of my child, the freckled-faced beauty I fell in love with in a Panama City beach is gone. That person does not exist anymore. And one thing is for certain: I am not going to admit I EVER had anything to do with her change of personality.

Once these people get that first dopamine rush, they’re gone. “Once a cheater, always a cheater” is DEAD right.
 

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It’s really not a mare… the lady and I hit it off. I have so much in common with her. We even agreed to keep on talking AFTER the divorce and see if this takes us anywhere.

It’s BLUNTLY clear the mother of my child, the freckled-faced beauty I fell in love with in a Panama City beach is gone. That person does not exist anymore. And one thing is for certain: I am not going to admit I EVER had anything to do with her change of personality.

Once these people get that first dopamine rush, they’re gone. “Once a cheater, always a cheater” is DEAD right.
Wouldn't that put you in the same category as your wife now? Papers haven't been drawn up or signed, and you're already planning a future with the "lady" you met at the bar during this whole ordeal?! 🤷
 

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OM is supposedly a wealthy real-estate tycoon 10 years older than OP's STBXW, living in a $3 million mansion. He hired on recently for "benefits" at school where OP's STBXW "worked" . The school is a hotbed of sex, so no doubt everyone knew about STBXW n OM. The tycoon flew to Italy to have a boat engine repaired. Last I looked RT NYC/Rome could be had for about $500. Lot less than $3000. SYBXW had been saving up, maybe she paid his airfare.
That $80 a check she was taking out of ck acct perhapse?
 
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