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The NEW Singles of TAM, 2021 Edition!!!

104K views 2K replies 51 participants last post by  MattMatt 
#1 ·
Farewell, old thread!!!!!!

Should this be the anthem for this thread...?? :D

 
#15 ·
So today was worthy of some whining.

When my alarm went off this morning, I noticed that my foot sore. (I keep my alarm in the master bathroom so I can't just turn it off from bed) I figured that since I've run an average of 5 miles a day that I had rubbed a sore spot on the back of the heel or maybe some dryness had come back. Not only was it dry and cracked but it was bleeding. Awesome. Cleaning that up, getting ready for work, etc put me a bit behind when I usually leave but not too bad.

On the way to work there was a sign on the interstate saying that there was road work for 2 miles. I thought "well, they don't have a detour up and its only 2 miles, its probably not that bad so I'll just stay on the interstate". I was stuck there for an hour.

So I get to work about an hour and a half later than I should have and I am already done with the day. I walk in thinking about leaving early to avoid the traffic and whatever other problems are lurking for me. The first thing that pops up in Messenger as soon as I log in is something from one of my bosses saying the activity that hadn't been approved mid-week now was and I was going to have to stay later than normal to do it. It was only half an hour or 45 minutes later than normal but probably a couple hours more than I had planned on when I was walking in.

sigh At least work was only 'meh'. There were fires to put out so I didn't get to work on any of the long running tasks I have in the office but that's more or less par for the course.

I had a bunch of chores planned for the kid free weekend but I'm worried the luck will carry over and I should just read a book or something.
 
#30 ·
I am not sure what kind of energy I am putting out but without fail, the men I attract drives a big ass truck. Lol. My ex husband (white collar upper manager) drove a truck. Every guy I have dated since my divorce with the exception of one, drove trucks. And it's not I live in a rural area. What are the chances?
 
#31 ·
There are some psychological correlations you will find that likely can answer this for you. For example, you can guess someone's political views based on what kind of vehicle they drive. Last I checked, I think anyone driving a Suburu voted Democrat 85% of the time. If the guy drives a Ford F-150, you can be pretty sure he didn't vote Blue. So, if you pick men based on certain personality characteristics, you will find they often prefer the same types of vehicles.
 
#41 ·
Still here as well, don't get on here much, life is keeping me plenty busy! January I went to Costa Rica with the guy I refer to as "tiger" and had a great time. The guy told me he couldn't dance, lol, I found out differently at the resort we went to. Oh my word, he can dance! He had everyone there watching him, coming up to him and introducing themselves. He knows how to dance hip hop and here I was dancing 70's style. I just encouraged him and let him have his fun, there was no way I could keep up with his moves.

I was one of the many who lost power during the TX storm, what an ordeal!!!!!! Stay with my male friend during the whole thing so I did stay warm, he did not lose electricity. Trapped inside we ended up playing Monopoly....mopped him all over the board. I guess we are all good at something, lol!

One of my adult students who is in the early stages of Alzheimer's asked me if my friend and I would like to go to her house and have wine with her and her husband. I cannot spill my life to my clients. She knows I am seeing this guy but she doesn't have all the info. He and I do not have that type of a relationship. We are friends but we are not a couple. She then asked my kids had met him and of course they have not. Her question did make me think. I have become emotionally attached but for him I think he just sees the time we spend together as just that, nothing more, and I am not sure that he feels any sort of attachment. I have stepped back. I have family in town this week and I think a break to think things thru will be good for me.
 
#43 ·
When it rains it pours. After a bad day yesterday emotionally and mentally, met someone today that for some reason I am interested in. I'm not sure if it is real interest or a reaction to the day I had yesterday so I excused myself from the situation. Just confused.
 
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#48 ·
@LisaDiane ...Impatience nearly got the better of me.

Well done on taking charge in starting this new thread!

Like I stated before, I really have no business being here. I just like popping in to see what's happening sometimes.
 
#60 ·
74430


The day you actually move to someplace utterly on your own and at least two miles away...AND file actual divorce papers with the court, is the day I'll think you mean what you say. Until then, in my eyes you are a married man who's unhappy but won't actually do anything about it.

I am 100% not single myself, but I just got remarried here in 2019, and when I was single, I was 100% completely not married.

Signed,

~Skeptical
 
#64 ·
In the old thread I mentioned my sister and her family possibly moving out here and staying with me while they get up on their feet. They got an offer on their house a week and a half ago and the appraisal finally came back today.....SOLD! They’ll be here in three weeks! I am so over the moon and can’t wait for them to get here!

I moved away from home when I was 19 and haven’t seen my family often over the years, maybe once every 5 or 6 years so to have family here with me is just one of the best things that could be happening!

This bothered me a lot when I divorced, outside of my two girls I have no family anywhere close by. They were all 2000 miles away and my son moved to the east coast. I felt vulnerable and worried about making it on my own but I’ve done just fine and have built a nice new life and now I can help my family. My people, my tribe, I can’t wait!
 
#67 ·
In the old thread I mentioned my sister and her family possibly moving out here and staying with me while they get up on their feet. They got an offer on their house a week and a half ago and the appraisal finally came back today.....SOLD! They’ll be here in three weeks! I am so over the moon and can’t wait for them to get here!

I moved away from home when I was 19 and haven’t seen my family often over the years, maybe once every 5 or 6 years so to have family here with me is just one of the best things that could be happening!

This bothered me a lot when I divorced, outside of my two girls I have no family anywhere close by. They were all 2000 miles away and my son moved to the east coast. I felt vulnerable and worried about making it on my own but I’ve done just fine and have built a nice new life and now I can help my family. My people, my tribe, I can’t wait!
That's wonderful! I hope you enjoy your time together, family is everything!
 
#73 ·
I'm starting the divorce journey for the second time in my life and I can already tell I'm going to have a big problem with feeling lonely. I've virtually never been a single adult man before. I'm don't really feel like I have a fear of being alone...maybe more like I fear the unknown of what it's like not to have somebody. I guess I'm just saying I don't really know how to be alone and I'm afraid I'm going to try to jump into another relationship before I'm ready just to have somebody like I feel like I've done before.
 
#76 ·
Being alone for the first time can be very scary. But remember, you guys are adults, you've worked, paid for your homes, been responsible for your families for years. If you can do that you can learn to be alone. It's not the end of the world, I promise, but it is definitely an adjustment that doesn't always come easy. That's where a place like this comes into play...people to bounce your thoughts and emotions off of for support. hugs

As for me, I'm doing well for the most part. Still with BF and still feeling very lucky to have him in my life. We're coming up on two years. I know he wishes we could live together officially but I'm stuck with my house with the ex until Jan 2023. Thankfully, he has a great attitude about it "we deal with what we have to deal with but we can do it as long as we're together" Can't wait for him to get vaccinated and the world to open up so we can start doing things again!!!! We're planning a trip with all our kids to Myrtle Beach next summer. Kids are excited!! I think it will be a good chance for them all to really bond and get to know each other and have fun. I think they are all waiting for us to announce a wedding at some point. They will be disappointed as, for now anyway, that's not in the cards at all. I love BF with all my heart and he feels the same but I spent 25 years with someone and it turned out to all be a lie...I can't trust my judgement. I like that if something went sour right now, I can just be done with no legal entanglements at all. Not ready to give that up. I'd love to say I never have doubts about BF but sometimes, they creep in to my dark mind. "what if he doesn't really love me, what if he just wants me for (insert stupid reason here), what if, what if, what if...it all comes down to "what if he's not being sincere?" I try not to listen to those voices but sometimes they rage in my head. It sucks. To be clear, he's never actually done anything to bring these fears on...it's all in my head. He's a great guy, very open and honest with me about everything, gives me no reasons to doubt him...it's just me and my dark voices.

I've been moved to a night position at work which is supposed to carry a hefty bonus but as of yet I've not seen one red cent of that bonus. Grrr. Definitely impacts my time with my kids and BF and just my general health. I'm really not good at confrontation but I'm gonna have to confront my boss soon. She's the type to retaliate against people though so I have to be VERY careful about it. Ugh. I just want what I was promised, I don't think that's too much to ask.

Kids are good except for the youngest...struggling with some health issues and she just won't do the things she has to in order to stay healthy. Raising teenagers ain't for the weak. Really hope and pray she outgrows this condition the way her sister did.

Ok, enough babbling from me!!!! Hoping we all have a great 2021!!!
 
#78 ·
Being alone for the first time can be very scary. But remember, you guys are adults, you've worked, paid for your homes, been responsible for your families for years. If you can do that you can learn to be alone. It's not the end of the world, I promise, but it is definitely an adjustment that doesn't always come easy. That's where a place like this comes into play...people to bounce your thoughts and emotions off of for support. hugs
And this is exactly what I'll be keeping in the forefront of my mind until I'm comfortable. Very awesomely spoken @notmyjamie , thank you.
 
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