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I have been told this throughout my adult life. I am not sure how to control that either. Should I hold back and be cooler when I meet people I like?
Lila, I think you should just be yourself. Guys WILL (and obviously DO) dig that. For the sexting stuff, just be clear -- you don't do that. Any sexy stuff will be done in person, not via phone, or email.
If a guy can't get that in his head, then too bad for him -- he will be missing out.

I happen to agree with you -- if you know the tech behind all this, that stuff NEVER disappears and you honestly do NOT know who is accessing your stuff (legal or not). I would never do that either. If I want to see my wife's naked parts, I wait until I'm with her and then ask!
 

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No, but I feel like even with Pogo, I'm not being picked. He's making selfish choices expecting me to change so as to fit into his life. I feel that if he was picking me that he wouldn't expect me to change.
Maybe I'm picking nits with you over this, put in this post, is change synonymous with compromise?

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And see, I have the opposite problem. I get the ones that will overwhelm me with their need to see me orgasm. It's a lot of pressure which cranks up my anxiety, which makes it almost impossible to orgasm. Then they are let down when I don't orgasm. This is why an intimate connection and feeling safe is so important to me.
My GF has had an experience a lot like @minimalME while I'm a bit closer to what @Lila is talking about. There have been a few times where she's done what was necessary to get "over the top" or whatever. (See learning process before) I don't think I've necessarily made her feel tense or self conscious about not having an orgasm but she has said that she's disappointed more for my sake not having that reassurance that I'm making her feel good.
 

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Maybe I'm picking nits with you over this, put in this post, is change synonymous with compromise?

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No. Compromise is what I've done for him.

Ours is definitely not headed for a happily ever after but I can enjoy the moment him. That might be the best I can get at this point in my life.
 

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My GF has had an experience a lot like @minimalME while I'm a bit closer to what @Lila is talking about. There have been a few times where she's done what was necessary to get "over the top" or whatever. (See learning process before) I don't think I've necessarily made her feel tense or self conscious about not having an orgasm but she has said that she's disappointed more for my sake not having that reassurance that I'm making her feel good.
It's the equivalent of performance anxiety for men. You get in your head and it ruins the good time feelings.
 

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has even else been with someone and started to have a gut feeling that she relationship is going to end?

I have just recently posted about buying a house with this person.:unsure:
Whoa, way too soon for that, girl! Put the brakes on, even if the relationship doesn’t end!


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No. Compromise is what I've done for him.

Ours is definitely not headed for a happily ever after but I can enjoy the moment him.

That might be the best I can get at this point in my life.
Letterkenny Wayne and I both agree on the bolded above...
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Hmm...or might that distract you from finding what you really want...?
I think it has done the opposite to be honest. Having him in my life has helped me to avoid making big mistakes.

Pogo may have his issues but he's a good, kind, generous, loving man. He is really the reason I have ANY hope left. If I hadn't met him, i would be a bitter, angry woman right now with little faith in men based on most of my other experiences. And for that alone I will be forever thankful to him.
 

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I think it has done the opposite to be honest. Having him in my life has helped me to avoid making big mistakes.

Pogo may have his issues but he's a good, kind, generous, loving man. He is really the reason I have ANY hope left. If I hadn't met him, i would be a bitter, angry woman right now with little faith in men based on most of my other experiences. And for that alone I will be forever thankful to him.
Ok, well...I don't know about anyone else, but I am thoroughly CONFUSED about him now!
 

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Maybe I'm picking nits with you over this, put in this post, is change synonymous with compromise?

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Maybe everyone is getting their wires crossed. My definition of compromise is there are no winners/losers, both give something to get something or meet in the middle. Not that, someone gives up something entirely to please the other, that's giving up.


It's the equivalent of performance anxiety for men. You get in your head and it ruins the good time feelings.
I have the same issue. I think it wasn't until I fully trusted that I was able to relax enough to let go (18 months, yes I have trust issues).

I think it has done the opposite to be honest. Having him in my life has helped me to avoid making big mistakes.

Pogo may have his issues but he's a good, kind, generous, loving man. He is really the reason I have ANY hope left. If I hadn't met him, i would be a bitter, angry woman right now with little faith in men based on most of my other experiences. And for that alone I will be forever thankful to him.
He sounds really good. If he's not the one for you though, don't you think it's only fair to let him go to another woman who can appreciate him as is?
 

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That sure beats what he wrote. I'm guessing he's not very imaginative or expressive. Judging by the bouquet, he's not very flush with cash either. Or, maybe that very ho-hum selection reflects his sentiments.

Guys, take note, if you want to impress a lady with flowers you have to throw in some exotics - like Tiger Lilies or the like.
I am going to disagree with you here 😲

I'm big into flowers. While I also like Lilies (particularly Oriental Lilies...although they can cause migraines in some) oh and Peonies are divine, I think it's a nice bunch. Appropriate even. Carnations are underrated. What I would interpret from those flowers (gosh, I hope you don't mind @Elizabeth001) is that of simple acknowledgement. If it was a more 'grand' bouquet it would be over the top. If they were roses (red), they'd indicate serious romantic interest. It sounds like she was buzzed and a moment happened. He may well get that she's not into him beyond that. And recognize that as they live next door/close to one another, that they're going to see each other I'm guessing fairly frequently in daily life. He didn't need to provide any gesture. Therefore, my interpretation is that he's acknowledging her and a display that it's all good. Not writing anything on the card would also demonstrate (to me, at least) that he's not leading with other expectations. There you have it. My analysis. The flowers receive my approval. :LOL:
 

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Ok, well...I don't know about anyone else, but I am thoroughly CONFUSED about him now!
Lol. He can be a good man and still be imperfect. Our issues are unsolvable core incompatiblies.
He sounds really good. If he's not the one for you though, don't you think it's only fair to let him go to another woman who can appreciate him as is?
That's just it. I'm not keeping him trapped. We break up, date other people, and then somehow or another spring back to each other. We're two sides of the same coin.

I seriously think he's bugged my house because he knows when I need help. It's weird.
 

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I am going to disagree with you here 😲

I'm big into flowers. While I also like Lilies (particularly Oriental Lilies...although they can cause migraines in some) oh and Peonies are divine, I think it's a nice bunch. Appropriate even. Carnations are underrated. What I would interpret from those flowers (gosh, I hope you don't mind @Elizabeth001) is that of simple acknowledgement. If it was a more 'grand' bouquet it would be over the top. If they were roses (red), they'd indicate serious romantic interest. It sounds like she was buzzed and a moment happened. He may well get that she's not into him beyond that. And recognize that as they live next door/close to one another, that they're going to see each other I'm guessing fairly frequently in daily life. He didn't need to provide any gesture. Therefore, my interpretation is that he's acknowledging her and a display that it's all good. Not writing anything on the card would also demonstrate (to me, at least) that he's not leading with other expectations. There you have it. My analysis. The flowers receive my approval. :LOL:
I actually would feel more touched about the INTENT of the flowers, instead of receiving the perfect types of flowers. I think it's SO sweet that he sent that to her!!! How can she not want to have sex with him again?? Lol!

Of course, I was delighted when my STBX grabbed a bunch of wildflowers on his way home from work early in our relationship -- think of that! He stopped on the shoulder of the highway just to grab a bunch of beautiful flowers FOR ME...!!!!!!! I thought that was wonderful and romantic, and better than having tons of roses delivered!!!!
 

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Lol. He can be a good man and still be imperfect. Our issues are unsolvable core incompatiblies.

That's just it. I'm not keeping him trapped. We break up, date other people, and then somehow or another spring back to each other. We're two sides of the same coin.

I seriously think he's bugged my house because he knows when I need help. It's weird.
You realize your descriptions of your interactions with Pogo either sound really complimentary or dysfunctional right? I can't make up my mind!

When I say let him go, I meant no reconnecting... block and move on.
 

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I actually would feel more touched about the INTENT of the flowers, instead of receiving the perfect types of flowers. I think it's SO sweet that he sent that to her!!! How can she not want to have sex with him again?? Lol!

Of course, I was delighted when my STBX grabbed a bunch of wildflowers on his way home from work early in our relationship -- think of that! He stopped on the shoulder of the highway just to grab a bunch of beautiful flowers FOR ME...!!!!!!! I thought that was wonderful and romantic, and better than having tons of roses delivered!!!!
That is sweet.

And now I feel like a super crappy wife :LOL: as recently we were walking the dogs and Batman scooped up a few wildflowers and handed to me all cute-like. My response was laughing (not meanly) and with 'eww... dogs have probably peed on those..' It really is highly likely, based on where we walk and lots of other dogs go there. And so I didn't take them.

Oh man, that's bad isn't it. I better check myself before I wreck myself.
 
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