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Had a couple of ironic conversations with the ex recently that I thought I'd share.

The first one started with us discussing how we were going to handle the kids getting their driver's license (the oldest turned 15 a couple months ago and the younger one turns 14 later this year so we don't have a long time to plan / wait). This of course means that they're getting their tools for independence and they've both said things to the effect that they're moving away ASAP. About as far as they can get. They've also said that they're not at all interested in having children. Ever. The ex and I are anticipating limited visits. This lead into what it was going to be like without anyone at home. The ex said that she was probably going to be living alone since she always found something wrong with all the guys she talked to. She said that she thought I had raised the bar too much in too many ways for her to ever be satisfied with someone else. Ironic that she was the one that asked for the separation and divorce, huh?

One of the major contentious issues that the ex and I dealt with during our marriage was money. I believed that you should spend less than you make every paycheck and you should have money saved for emergencies. She thought I was a greedy asshole. She said on a couple of occasions, when I suggested that we not spend every penny in savings on (or put something on a credit card for) something we didn't need (a new patio or third bathroom for instance), that she should get divorced so she wouldn't have to discuss purchases with anyone. Now she's got structural problems with her house and wants to go to school and has no idea how to pay for either. Perhaps buying a new car the same year she bought a house (and got a divorce) wasn't the best idea. Doing a budget 6 months after you've obligated all of your money might be a little late.

It both makes me very tired and makes me want to gloat a little bit.
 

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Had a couple of ironic conversations with the ex recently that I thought I'd share.

The first one started with us discussing how we were going to handle the kids getting their driver's license (the oldest turned 15 a couple months ago and the younger one turns 14 later this year so we don't have a long time to plan / wait). This of course means that they're getting their tools for independence and they've both said things to the effect that they're moving away ASAP. About as far as they can get. They've also said that they're not at all interested in having children. Ever. The ex and I are anticipating limited visits. This lead into what it was going to be like without anyone at home. The ex said that she was probably going to be living alone since she always found something wrong with all the guys she talked to. She said that she thought I had raised the bar too much in too many ways for her to ever be satisfied with someone else. Ironic that she was the one that asked for the separation and divorce, huh?

One of the major contentious issues that the ex and I dealt with during our marriage was money. I believed that you should spend less than you make every paycheck and you should have money saved for emergencies. She thought I was a greedy asshole. She said on a couple of occasions, when I suggested that we not spend every penny in savings on (or put something on a credit card for) something we didn't need (a new patio or third bathroom for instance), that she should get divorced so she wouldn't have to discuss purchases with anyone. Now she's got structural problems with her house and wants to go to school and has no idea how to pay for either. Perhaps buying a new car the same year she bought a house (and got a divorce) wasn't the best idea. Doing a budget 6 months after you've obligated all of your money might be a little late.

It both makes me very tired and makes me want to gloat a little bit.
Hiney baby! Good to hear from you, hell of an update!

It serves her right! Irresponsible dumbass! My ex shared similar financial attitudes with your wife and it drove me NUTS. Aren't you glad you're not her piggy bank anymore?

Man I am living vicariously through you and enjoying the gloat just a teeny weeny bit Muaaahahaha:LOL: It would be nice to hear some juicy **** like that about mine too, but I keep it tight and all businesslike when we have to communicate (official crap - I can't wait until I don't need his signature on anything else, that **** keeps popping up like bad pennies)

How's life for you otherwise?
 

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Hiney baby! Good to hear from you, hell of an update!

It serves her right! Irresponsible dumbass! My ex shared similar financial attitudes with your wife and it drove me NUTS. Aren't you glad you're not her piggy bank anymore?

Man I am living vicariously through you and enjoying the gloat just a teeny weeny bit Muaaahahaha:LOL: It would be nice to hear some juicy ** like that about mine too, but I keep it tight and all businesslike when we have to communicate (official crap - I can't wait until I don't need his signature on anything else, that ** keeps popping up like bad pennies)

How's life for you otherwise?
Life has been a bit of a mixed bag.

The Good: About a month ago the kids and I built a (short range) flamethrower out of a torch, leaf blower, and some PVC pipe. We watched The Mitchell's vs the Machines on Netflix and we're looking forward to The Bad Batch on Disney+. I'm getting $2800 stimulus money and don't have any pressing need for it. I've gotten a "like" or two on OLD.

The not so good: There's someone at work that I should probably let go since he doesn't really contribute productively to the team. Getting anything approved at work is a huge PITA and since I'm "team lead" most of the annoyance falls on me. My blood pressure was "moderately high" for long enough that my doctor put me on blood pressure medicine which I will probably be on for the rest of my life. Contemplating responding to the OLD "like"s makes me feel more stressed out than hopeful or excited so I haven't responded yet.
 

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Life has been a bit of a mixed bag.

The Good: About a month ago the kids and I built a (short range) flamethrower out of a torch, leaf blower, and some PVC pipe. We watched The Mitchell's vs the Machines on Netflix and we're looking forward to The Bad Batch on Disney+. I'm getting $2800 stimulus money and don't have any pressing need for it. I've gotten a "like" or two on OLD.

The not so good: There's someone at work that I should probably let go since he doesn't really contribute productively to the team. Getting anything approved at work is a huge PITA and since I'm "team lead" most of the annoyance falls on me. My blood pressure was "moderately high" for long enough that my doctor put me on blood pressure medicine which I will probably be on for the rest of my life. Contemplating responding to the OLD "like"s makes me feel more stressed out than hopeful or excited so I haven't responded yet.
That sounds like fun! What all have you set ablaze? I got myself a mini chainsaw the other day, I'm planning on doing some tree-trimming in my front yard to show that baby off as soon as I can stay upright on a ladder! Yeah baby! Rrerrow :D

It ain't worth getting all riled up man (like I should talk :rolleyes:), what are you doing to bust your stress? Has anyone told him, he sucks? And not in a good way? Give him a shot to up his ante? He can't be that oblivious though, surely?

Don't feel bad about not being ready to date. If it doesn't feel good, you're not ready. Though, and I'm going to be super crude...wouldn't busting a nut release some of that stress oh so pleasurably? I know I'm much happier and WAY less stressed out when I'm getting some on the regular.

All teasing aside, it's uncanny how much you sound JUST like my bf :LOL:. He took his good old time after his divorce to start dating again (nothing wrong with that) and he was super anxious about dating.
 

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And that's not a bad way to stay in circulation, if that's something you choose to do.
I'm assuming you meant this for me.

Not going to say no, but my friend's company caters to young (er) people. The event I attended was made up of highly successful, never married 30 somethings, looking for others in the same boat. It was an interesting experience.
 

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That sounds like fun! What all have you set ablaze? I got myself a mini chainsaw the other day, I'm planning on doing some tree-trimming in my front yard to show that baby off as soon as I can stay upright on a ladder! Yeah baby! Rrerrow :D

It ain't worth getting all riled up man (like I should talk :rolleyes:), what are you doing to bust your stress? Has anyone told him, he sucks? And not in a good way? Give him a shot to up his ante? He can't be that oblivious though, surely?

Don't feel bad about not being ready to date. If it doesn't feel good, you're not ready. Though, and I'm going to be super crude...wouldn't busting a nut release some of that stress oh so pleasurably? I know I'm much happier and WAY less stressed out when I'm getting some on the regular.

All teasing aside, it's uncanny how much you sound JUST like my bf :LOL:. He took his good old time after his divorce to start dating again (nothing wrong with that) and he was super anxious about dating.
We tested flour, powder milk, and powder coffee creamer as fuel by sifting them over a torch. Flour was almost impossible to light and powder milk was at least reliably combustible but barely. They lulled me into a false sense of security. I was concentrating on making sure the powdered coffee creamer was hitting the flame when an orange fireball went up the right side of my body and singed off part of my goatee and hair. :oops: The actual flamethrower once constructed did burn a small patch of the yard. You have to be very, very careful about how the wind is blowing.

The guy at work has had the, "this cannot continue as it is" meeting. Improvement has been marginal. It is as much a lack of capability as it is a lack of effort, I think. He was hired as someone that is supposed to have ~10 years' experience and our team is too small to dedicate a mentor so he's got to figure things out on his own and interpret tasks that don't have every detail spelled out but he doesn't seem to be able to do these things.
 

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The guy at work has had the, "this cannot continue as it is" meeting. Improvement has been marginal. It is as much a lack of capability as it is a lack of effort, I think. He was hired as someone that is supposed to have ~10 years' experience and our team is too small to dedicate a mentor so he's got to figure things out on his own and interpret tasks that don't have every detail spelled out but he doesn't seem to be able to do these things.
I have experienced this. The different approaches of support provided, the direct conversations and feedback, re-framing to what they needed to facilitate them being a strong team member, recognizing where their strengths are and valuing those too. What I found to be the most challenging/draining was resetting myself each time and with the knowledge that 'a team is only as strong as the weakest link' and essentially it largely fell on me as their manager to take steps to support them towards improvement and with an understanding of their perspective, too. While the approaches and direct communication between us seemed well-received, it took up a lot of my time and energy. Still, I had to accept that was part of what I had signed up for. Improvements occurred, great. Then some unexpected character shenanigans emerged that was a whole other scenario that I needed to call out - and escalated. My shoulders are rising just typing this haha. Anyway, I feel for ya. From the view that 'a team is only as strong as the weakest link' the intention is to support the person to get them to be as strong as the others. Good luck!
 
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We tested flour, powder milk, and powder coffee creamer as fuel by sifting them over a torch. Flour was almost impossible to light and powder milk was at least reliably combustible but barely. They lulled me into a false sense of security. I was concentrating on making sure the powdered coffee creamer was hitting the flame when an orange fireball went up the right side of my body and singed off part of my goatee and hair. :oops: The actual flamethrower once constructed did burn a small patch of the yard. You have to be very, very careful about how the wind is blowing.

The guy at work has had the, "this cannot continue as it is" meeting. Improvement has been marginal. It is as much a lack of capability as it is a lack of effort, I think. He was hired as someone that is supposed to have ~10 years' experience and our team is too small to dedicate a mentor so he's got to figure things out on his own and interpret tasks that don't have every detail spelled out but he doesn't seem to be able to do these things.
That sounds like a blast! So... how bad is the singe? Are you going to have to shave/trim? It could be an opportunity for a new look. The bright side is, it singed upstairs :LOL: not other places...

Oh man, he needs to take some invitiative. How long has he been there? You'd think knowing how tight the job market is, he'd do everything possible to make himself indispensible!
 
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