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My thought on a woman who has cheated on her husband, and I have plenty of lady friends who have, husband was not available to his wife. If a guy tells me his wife cheated usually I don't see the again. He can't see how he failed her and now he us going to blame every woman that comes into his life.
Umm.... That's an entitled and irresponsible attitude at it's best from those cheatin ho ho's.😉
 

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Understood. It's nothing more than mechanics at that point, no emotional connection to make it sizzle and entice you to want more.

I never understood why men like that don't just go hire an escort :rolleyes: It's a complete waste of time for both parties involved.

What a jackass. You should have asked him if he could answer his own question, there are also many other men to swipe. For all you know he could be a 2-pump-chump or bring a pencil to the table :LOL:.
The pen is mightier than the sword.... Says no one who has had a sword in their face....😉
 

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My thought on a woman who has cheated on her husband, and I have plenty of lady friends who have, husband was not available to his wife. If a guy tells me his wife cheated usually I don't see the again. He can't see how he failed her and now he us going to blame every woman that comes into his life.
I'm not going to assume to understand what you meant by your comment but my experiences have also led me to avoid dating men who use infidelity as the reason for their divorce.

As someone whose ex had someone in the wings when he asked for the divorce, I can empathize with people who have been cheated on. However, I also understand there were issues in the marriage well before the infidelity. I will never take responsibility for my ex's cheating but I did play a big role in the demise of the marriage.

When asked why my marriage failed, I answer truthfully with "we grew apart and neither of us was willing to change to make it work". I have only met one man who could do the same. I found it refreshing when he acknowledged his role in the marriage's demise (not to be confused with taking responsibility for the infidelity). He admitted he "chose poorly". He took responsibility for picking a woman who's only qualifying trait was her 'hotness'. He could have chosen a mentally/emotionally healthy woman who shared his values but instead he chose someone based on superficial traits. Like me, he managed to maintain a good co parenting relationship with his ex regardless of the infidelity. That's extremely rare.
 

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Thanks for the encouragement.

I use tinder . So far , I get scam texts or guys only interested in sex ,not relationships . Any better suggestions?
I'm going to give you a different take in Tinder. I am not cut out for online dating but if I had to choose an app, I would choose Tinder.

I experimented with online dating in 2019 and tried Match (21 days), e harmony ( <2 weeks), hinge (9 days) and bumble (2 days). I tried Tinder in late 2020 for 2 weeks.

I had the worst luck on Hinge.

E harmony was just as everyone else has described.

Match was full of guys claiming to want a relationship but who were really looking for nsa sex (I could write a book). I did meet my first "boyfriend" post divorce on Match but that's a sad story in and of itself.

I didn't like Bumble (way too many polished profiles with professional pics. Spidey senses screaming fake profiles) so didn't give it more than a glance.

I had the best luck on Tinder. Found more men there who shared my values and relationship goals than on the other apps combined. I think it's the sheer volume of profiles - numbers game for sure.

I would not give up on Tinder but maybe give a different app a try based on what's popular in your area.
 

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Having witnessed dozens of cases of infidelity over the years and knowing the details, I can say the cheaters mostly just f'd their lives up and marriages due to shear selfishness and opportunity.

There were the minority that had some very rough circumstances before cheating but that wasn't the norm.

Many just did it because they could, cheating on pretty decent people that weren't anymore lacking than the rest of us.

A lot of them were actually very happy in their marriages and would say they love their spouse (which of course doesn't fit my definition of love) but did not want to get divorced and tried hard to reconcile.

I can see not wanting to date someone who is still very damaged from infidelity but not simply because someone cheated on them.
 

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I'm going to give you a different take in Tinder. I am not cut out for online dating but if I had to choose an app, I would choose Tinder.

I experimented with online dating in 2019 and tried Match (21 days), e harmony ( <2 weeks), hinge (9 days) and bumble (2 days). I tried Tinder in late 2020 for 2 weeks.

I had the worst luck on Hinge.

E harmony was just as everyone else has described.

Match was full of guys claiming to want a relationship but who were really looking for nsa sex (I could write a book). I did meet my first "boyfriend" post divorce on Match but that's a sad story in and of itself.

I didn't like Bumble (way too many polished profiles with professional pics. Spidey senses screaming fake profiles) so didn't give it more than a glance.

I had the best luck on Tinder. Found more men there who shared my values and relationship goals than on the other apps combined. I think it's the sheer volume of profiles - numbers game for sure.

I would not give up on Tinder but maybe give a different app a try based on what's popular in your area.
This stuff is so weird. I know you have explained it before but it still weirds me out.😳
 

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This stuff is so weird. I know you have explained it before but it still weirds me out.😳
I get it. I was involved in it and it weirded me out 😁. But I also understand that it works for others.

Some people might think going to an organized singles event alone, and knowing no one there, is weird. I have zero issues doing that. Different strokes for different folks.
 

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Discussion Starter · #317 ·
So what she is saying is that it was something I did that made my ex have a threesome? LOL
I hope you aren't truly taking it that way -- I don't believe she means that at all, so don't let her post offend you.

Besides, no one with any critical thinking skills at all would think that!
 

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Exactly , I was taken aback . I smiled and told him I am special because some people just won’t get to have me .
I deleted my online account . Gave up .
Ha ha ha....I guy like that better be able to rock my freaking world 🤣🤣🤣

Somehow I doubt that would happen.
 

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I doubt I would refuse to date someone who was cheated on — not that I meet many in my age group who have been — since I know too well what that’s like. But I prefer casual dating and am not interested in a relationship and maybe I would feel differently about that if I did. And I don’t use dating apps. A field of bleating sheep doesn’t appeal to me. If I don’t run across someone in real life to date I’m not interested. Yes, that can take awhile but I find the thought of dating apps weird — like the old newspaper ads from my day that I thought were weird then.
 

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Tried bumble as recommended . Seems the same as tinder . The immediate chill you feel when the men know sex in not happening anytime soon .

The cheated on guy , with full of angst , is the only one who seems to appreciate that n met up once after we sorted out our issues with the question mark . He was hot on texts for 3 days straight . The meet went alright n he mentioned about meeting up again . Even though I may not start a relationship with him for many reasons , I see other good qualities in him n would definitely remain friends to see how his anger pans out . But he suddenly turn cold n reply curtly to my texts over 3 occasions . I get the chill so I stopped texting . It still hurts to have people so coldly put you out at a distance .

The date site seems like a jungle of ugly mankind and the divorce seems to throw me into that unfamiliar jungle of sex hungry animal kingdom .
 
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