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Just wait until the kids start talking about Daddy's new girlfriend. There will go her sense of security in having a fall-back position. All of a sudden, Hiner is going to start to look oh-so-good to her.
A close friend of mine is going through a very similar situation and, while romance is the last thing on his mind right now, I think his stbx is still going to be shocked when her place in his bed has been filled by someone else.

Her head is still spinning from how fast he got a lawyer and had her served. His head was all messed up about her telling him she wanted a separation to "Find herself" and figure out what she wants but he contacted me and I got him to think clearly and act decisively and now the initial judgement is he gets primary custody of their two children and she has to start paying child support and help with other costs as well starting in February.

She thought she was just going to walk all over him and he was going to take it.

It didn't quite work out the way her deranged mind imagined or the way her deranged sisters and friends advised her.
 

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A close friend of mine is going through a very similar situation and, while romance is the last thing on his mind right now, I think his stbx is still going to be shocked when her place in his bed has been filled by someone else.

Her head is still spinning from how fast he got a lawyer and had her served. His head was all messed up about her telling him she wanted a separation to "Find herself" and figure out what she wants but he contacted me and I got him to think clearly and act decisively and now the initial judgement is he gets primary custody of their two children and she has to start paying child support and help with other costs as well starting in February.

She thought she was just going to walk all over him and he was going to take it.

It didn't quite work out the way her deranged mind imagined or the way her deranged sisters and friends advised her.
What a fantastic story. My dream ending!
 

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A close friend of mine is going through a very similar situation and, while romance is the last thing on his mind right now, I think his stbx is still going to be shocked when her place in his bed has been filled by someone else.

Her head is still spinning from how fast he got a lawyer and had her served. His head was all messed up about her telling him she wanted a separation to "Find herself" and figure out what she wants but he contacted me and I got him to think clearly and act decisively and now the initial judgement is he gets primary custody of their two children and she has to start paying child support and help with other costs as well starting in February.

She thought she was just going to walk all over him and he was going to take it.

It didn't quite work out the way her deranged mind imagined or the way her deranged sisters and friends advised her.
How old are they? And he must make less money than she does...??
 

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What a fantastic story. My dream ending!
Well.... I won't call it fantastic but I'm good at war and my friend wasn't so I gave him counsel that he followed well.

His stbx set herself up for this because my friend is a fairly typical "nice guy" and she was banking on 14 years of experiencing him trying to bend over backwards to be a good husband.

I don't think some women know how to manage a marriage to these guys but they aren't bad mates and very good providers.

They are more attracted to a holes like me but marry good but nice men who don't have the tools to put them in their place occasionally.

I think Trisha spells it out here pretty good.

I am a recovering A hole that learned to be soft sometimes. My friend, and many like him, started soft and had difficulty learning to be hard when he or his family needed him to be.

 

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How old are they? And he must make less money than she does...??
If she doesn't have the kids at all then he'd get child support regardless of who made more money.

Spousal support or alimony is an entirely different story.

In either case, she'd have an "imputed" income if she chooses not to work (or work less), especially if she has a degree and isn't disabled.
 

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I think a lot of people see me this way. And I understand - divorce is a selfish option.

Even after 10 years, I think my ex-husband is still waiting for me to be miserable and fail - and is genuinely disappointed that I'm just fine.
I sincerely doubt you behaved like E. That is what I'll call her here.

I don't believe any of us including J, what I will call him here, wants her to be miserable.

She is possibly going to be miserable because she became a miserable person.

This is the third time she has pulled this bull ****.

The first two were in quick sequence and she seemed to really reform afterwards.

She has been behaving like an idiot for a couple years now culminating in her third and final affair of this marriage.

There are good reasons why J got primary custody.
 

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I think a lot of people see me this way. And I understand - divorce is a selfish option.

Even after 10 years, I think my ex-husband is still waiting for me to be miserable and fail - and is genuinely disappointed that I'm just fine.
NO WAY!!! Then they aren't taking the time to KNOW you, that's all.
 

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Merry Christmas to all of you on TAM! For some of us like myself your day will be spent alone, my heart goes out to you!!! My youngest daughter who lives nearby tested positive for COVID two days ago on my birthday. The guy I have been dated also tested positive the same day. Two weeks ago an old boyfriend from highschool passed away from the virus. he had contacted me just a month before he passed. This morning I found out a friend's father passed away from COVID. Be careful and be safe, this virus is nothing to mess with.

On a different topic, I had a long talk with the man I have been dating for the past 1 1/2 years. He and I will be going away to Costa Rica to vacation in about a month. I know he likes me, it is obvious by the way he reacts to me and I am very comfortable with him but there was some disconnects that I wanted to talk about. It was like I felt being waved in by one hand and the other hand had a stop sign up. How it turned out he basically said he was not sure if he wants to ever be with any one person long-term and if he did it probably would not come to him naturally. He told me that he basically saw relationships as having a time....you enjoy that person until the relationship no longer serves one person or the other. He said he doesn't want to be locked into exclusivity as he wants his freedom to do what he wants to do and he feels exclusiveness means doing more together than he wants, basically he doesn't want the obligation to a relationship. I asked him if he was seeing anyone else and he told me he was not, told me he is not a player and that if he met someone else he wanted to be with he would not keep seeing me. He told me that he enjoys __, __, ____ (listed what he likes about me) and is enjoying getting to know me. The conversation did not feel good to me. I was hoping we were working towards something more solid, more stable.....dating forever is not what I have wanted ever. He obviously is not seeing a future with me or even thinking that way, perhaps more typical of men but painful to hear regardless. he claims we are not friends with benefits but how else do you term what he said? Am I the one getting this confused? He assure me this is just about sex for him......I didn't ask as I have not felt it was just sex between us, not sure why he mentioned that. He an I have done all kinds of things together. He is always asking me questions about my past, my kids, my family so he knows me better than anyone....we have shared an awful lot and of everyone I have dated since my divorce, he and I have the most in common. I am ready for a relationship where we integrate our lives and he definitely is not.
 
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