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I am not asking this to be disrespectful in any way but.....For the people who are using OLD. is meeting people in everyday situations that rare where you are from?
Most in-person interaction is fleeting unless one/both of you is super confident or in the mood to be flirty with someone on the spot if you see someone you find interesting. Honestly, I don't find a man attractive enough to hold my interest without good conversation, then my interest: :unsure: > :sneaky: over time. I don't like mouthy, overflattering men, it makes me instantly retreat for the hills, so I don't do well with one on one flirting. I prefer to know a little bit about a man before assessing him for a potential relationship. Most men do NOT handle rejection well, I've had some horrible in-person experiences I do not ever care to repeat.
 

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You don't want to be too mundane, just remember you're looking for a bf, not a buddy. Bring on the sex appeal, without being a bimbo. You want your milkshake to bring da boyz to your yard girl! :D. I personally wouldn't ask my kid (if I had one) to take sexy pics of me., that's just a bit TOO pervy for me, and that's saying a lot :p. Mind you, I'm not talking about trotting out the goodies, sexy is a state of mind.

I'm a homebody, a man had best be worth my time and effort to doll up and head out, so I preferred to make sure of that. I spoke to 2-3 men at a time. Depending on how the conversation went, I had a pretty good idea if I would be attracted or not, then met up. Not too long though, maybe 1-2 weeks, depending on the man.

My bf was very shy and felt uncomfortable meeting up under a few weeks, but he stepped it up when I told him someone else asked me out and I was going, even though I would have preferred if it were him.
1-2 weeks?!?!?


Do you shut down your account during that time?
 

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I do think it's the responsibility of the more experienced partner to figure out their less experienced partner's boundaries and how comfortable they are with experimenting. A big part of that conversation is knowing they can change their mind at any point and it won't be held against them.
I don't agree with this. Once you're an adult, it is your own responsibility to figure out your own/likes dislikes and discuss it with your partner. Open communication is key, plus it's only smart to update your mindset with additional information, changing your mind should never be held against a person.

Honestly, if she's middle aged and had a few partners and not done these things, it's probably because she doesn't want to. Typically, it's young women who try things to find out if they like them. They hear all about it and try it to see if they like it, but then a lot of things actually aren't pleasurable for women, different women, different things, so they stop or slow down doing them or save them for a special occasion for the man. I mean, if the woman had been married to the same guy for decades or something and truly hadn't had much sexual experience outside of marriage, that might be different and she might be wanting to explore what she didn't before marriage.

Also, keep in mind a woman who doesn't want to be tied up might be willing to tie YOU up. A woman who doesn't want you to do anal on her might be okay doing it on you, or might be okay with just a finger.
You're making some serious assumptions here:
1. All women sleep around when they're younger, or are more adventurous then
2. They had the opportunity to do these things - it takes 2 (or more if that's your thing) to "do these things"
3. Her tastes never developed

I'm glad you qualified your statements later, some of us married early, and ended up with men who didn't grow with us or want to explore anything. My ex was super vanilla, never wanted to talk about anything, got silent when he didn't want to discuss a topic, but yet got the balls to step out to "find himself" or whatever.
 

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1-2 weeks?!?!?

Do you shut down your account during that time?
I told you, I don't like to be rushed :D. I only paused my account when the bf and I decided to date exclusively (after our first date), and even then, I didn't shut it down until we slept together a few weeks later. I think I was talking to just one other guy at the time, the one I was supposed to go out with. He canceled our date (we weren't very flirty at all, I was too into my bf), and I asked the bf out. That one faded out and I let it, and I didn't start any new conversations when my bf and I decided to go out, so there was nothing to pause.
 

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You're making some serious assumptions here:
1. All women sleep around when they're younger, or are more adventurous then
2. They had the opportunity to do these things - it takes 2 (or more if that's your thing) to "do these things"
3. Her tastes never developed

I'm glad you qualified your statements later, some of us married early, and ended up with men who didn't grow with us or want to explore anything. My ex was super vanilla, never wanted to talk about anything, got silent when he didn't want to discuss a topic, but yet got the balls to step out to "find himself" or whatever.
1) I went by what the original poster said about the woman had had a few partners in his hypothetical.

2) I certainly never said all young women sleep around. I also qualified that entire thought by saying "typically."
3) Never said a word about her tastes never developing either.
 

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I think in general, it gets harder to meet people the older we get. Meeting the traditional way is harder than online dating but not impossible under normal circumstances. Covid has made it almost impossible.

Where I live, bars and entertainment venues are shut down. We have a limit on the number of people that can gather which means outdoor music festivals and summer gatherings have been cancelled. Most places require people to wear masks and/or social distance. Kind of hard to meet people that way.
Guess it would be hard to get to know somebody the way things are now
 

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Most in-person interaction is fleeting unless one/both of you is super confident or in the mood to be flirty with someone on the spot if you see someone you find interesting. Honestly, I don't find a man attractive enough to hold my interest without good conversation, then my interest: :unsure: > :sneaky: over time. I don't like mouthy, overflattering men, it makes me instantly retreat for the hills, so I don't do well with one on one flirting. I prefer to know a little bit about a man before assessing him for a potential relationship. Most men do NOT handle rejection well, I've had some horrible in-person experiences I do not ever care to repeat.
Maybe its just me but I can usually have a conversation with someone long enough to know if I am interested in getting to know the person better. And it is mostly reciprocated. Than again, I am a talker so if you cant have a conversation with me then that's on you. Haha
 

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So, without quoting anyone, my new gf has been with quite a few partners, mostly before her 18 year marriage and and a few after. She has way more partners than I have, because, well I’ve pretty much been married my entire adult like to two ex’s. That being said, she made it clear what’s she done and hasn’t done. I’ve done a lot more. She wants to explore and we have been. So my question was, is she exploring at 48 because she’s trying to please me, or is it possible she really wants to explore? I hope it the latter, because I don’t want a woman changing for me. I don’t want that burden. So I was asking if other women would be adventurous later in life or not. Make sense?
 

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I don't agree with this. Once you're an adult, it is your own responsibility to figure out your own/likes dislikes and discuss it with your partner. Open communication is key, plus it's only smart to update your mindset with additional information, changing your mind should never be held against a person.
The problem is that the lesser experienced person will usually not bring up experimenting because well, they are not experienced and have no idea whether they might like it or not unless it's brought up by a more experienced partner. It's a circular argument.

In @RebuildingMe example, he'd be waiting forever waiting on his gf to bring up new things to try. It's best if he just takes the reigns and says "I am interested in XYZ. How do you feel about that?". That's what I mean by taking responsibility
 

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Just ask her. Because it is true that sometimes women are just trying to please you or hesitant to deny you. So sometime while not in bed, just ask her. Don't do it when there's sex impending. Or you can just flat out tell her, Look, I won't be a big baby if you don't want to do some of this stuff, so just say so....

It's nice to be considerate like you're being. But like others have noted, in the bedroom, not being hesitant and being confident goes a long way, so discuss this out of the bedroom and not right before sex.
 

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I'll bite, I fit your criteria, except for the single part. Funnily enough, that's what I meant in my earlier post when I said what we wanted from each other was not typical.
1. Very open
2. Both

Personally, that's what I was looking for blended with a very intimate relationship. There needs to be a greater level of trust and real love on both sides for me to want to explore past a certain point.

If you are truly interested in those things, consider where you are right now and how serious you want to get. If you're just want some thrills, make sure and be clear about that, just in case she's secretly wanting something more deeply intimate than you are prepared to give.
How did I know you’d “bite”? Lol. I have no problems getting as serious as I can while still being married. She knows exactly what she’s in for, I’ve made that crystal clear. For some reason, she’s really into me nonetheless.
 

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The problem is that the lesser experienced person will usually not bring up experimenting because well, they are not experienced and have no idea whether they might like it or not unless it's brought up by a more experienced partner. It's a circular argument.

In @RebuildingMe example, he'd be waiting forever waiting on his gf to bring up new things to try. It's best if he just takes the reigns and says "I am interested in XYZ. How do you feel about that?". That's what I mean by taking responsibility
She flat out asked what I like. I told her. She said she didn’t ever do those things but she’s open. Now she slowly doing those things. I’m hoping it’s because she wants to and not just to please me. I never asked her to do anything, nor did I expect it.
 

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So, without quoting anyone, my new gf has been with quite a few partners, mostly before her 18 year marriage and and a few after. She has way more partners than I have, because, well I’ve pretty much been married my entire adult like to two ex’s. That being said, she made it clear what’s she done and hasn’t done. I’ve done a lot more. She wants to explore and we have been. So my question was, is she exploring at 48 because she’s trying to please me, or is it possible she really wants to explore? I hope it the latter, because I don’t want a woman changing for me. I don’t want that burden. So I was asking if other women would be adventurous later in life or not. Make sense?

Without knowing her personality, I don't think there's anyone who can give you a straight answer. Is she a people pleaser? Submissive personality? Direct? No nonsense? It makes a difference.
 

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BTW, I over analyze just about everything in my life. My brain never shuts off. I can’t sleep at night without ambien for this very reason. It’s quite possible I just found a really cool woman...but I don’t accept that without investigation. It’s just how I’m wired.
 

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She flat out asked what I like. I told her. She said she didn’t ever do those things but she’s open. Now she slowly doing those things. I’m hoping it’s because she wants to and not just to please me. I never asked her to do anything, nor did I expect it.
Then I recommend you count your blessings and don't look a gift horse in the mouth. 😉.
 

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BTW, I over analyze just about everything in my life. My brain never shuts off. I can’t sleep at night without ambien for this very reason. It’s quite possible I just found a really cool woman...but I don’t accept that without investigation. It’s just how I’m wired.
Lol see my last reply to you. Posted before reading this.
 

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1-2 weeks?!?!?


Do you shut down your account during that time?
Yes, please, 1-2 weeks of talking/texting and be ready to meet if there is mutual interest. Don’t shut anything down until you find the one that you want to be with exclusively. It should be a mutual conversation. Be prepared to be juggling multiple people and multiple conversations at any one time. It’s effort, yes, but it could also be fun.
 

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Yes, please, 1-2 weeks of talking/texting and be ready to meet if there is mutual interest. Don’t shut anything down until you find the one that you want to be with exclusively. It should be a mutual conversation. Be prepared to be juggling multiple people and multiple conversations at any one time. It’s effort, yes, but it could also be fun.
I meant 1-2 weeks is way too long for me to chat/message before meeting. I'm in the 2-3 days time frame.

I learned early on that I didn't want to invest weeks getting to know someone only to meet and realize there was no mutual chemistry.

I am also a crappy pen pal. Texting is not my forte. I'm okay with not textimg for a few days and just waiting until we see each other to catch up.
 

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1) I went by what the original poster said about the woman had had a few partners in his hypothetical.

2) I certainly never said all young women sleep around. I also qualified that entire thought by saying "typically."
3) Never said a word about her tastes never developing either.
I qualified my statements in the following paragraph.

Maybe its just me but I can usually have a conversation with someone long enough to know if I am interested in getting to know the person better. And it is mostly reciprocated. Than again, I am a talker so if you cant have a conversation with me then that's on you. Haha
I'm a thinker and a feeler, I like to mull things over before accepting an invitation for further interaction and I have to feel something to want to make an effort. A slow burn to get started, while I can assess my reaction to a man before chemistry wallops me, prevents me from doing naughty naughty things I'll regret later.

The problem is that the lesser experienced person will usually not bring up experimenting because well, they are not experienced and have no idea whether they might like it or not unless it's brought up by a more experienced partner. It's a circular argument.

In @RebuildingMe example, he'd be waiting forever waiting on his gf to bring up new things to try. It's best if he just takes the reigns and says "I am interested in XYZ. How do you feel about that?". That's what I mean by taking responsibility
This is an individual thing, I'll agree to disagree on nuance.

Just ask her. Because it is true that sometimes women are just trying to please you or hesitant to deny you. So sometime while not in bed, just ask her. Don't do it when there's sex impending. Or you can just flat out tell her, Look, I won't be a big baby if you don't want to do some of this stuff, so just say so....

It's nice to be considerate like you're being. But like others have noted, in the bedroom, not being hesitant and being confident goes a long way, so discuss this out of the bedroom and not right before sex.
Best piece of advice! Nothing kills a lady boner faster than a hesitant man. Definitely have the sex talk prior to bedroom Olympics. Hell, that alone is like one long flirty foreplay session.

How did I know you’d “bite”? Lol. I have no problems getting as serious as I can while still being married. She knows exactly what she’s in for, I’ve made that crystal clear. For some reason, she’s really into me nonetheless.
I wasn't talking about commitment, I was referring to a more intimate bdsm relationship vs. getting your jollies off spicing it up a little. Though come to think of it, that IS a commitment of sorts:unsure: , I'm not sure how to explain it with better clarity.

BTW, I over analyze just about everything in my life. My brain never shuts off. I can’t sleep at night without ambien for this very reason. It’s quite possible I just found a really cool woman...but I don’t accept that without investigation. It’s just how I’m wired.
I do it to, that's why I was overwhelmed and nearly called it quits. Don't be me, not everyone gets a second chance.

I meant 1-2 weeks is way too long for me to chat/message before meeting. I'm in the 2-3 days time frame.

I learned early on that I didn't want to invest weeks getting to know someone only to meet and realize there was no mutual chemistry.

I am also a crappy pen pal. Texting is not my forte. I'm okay with not textimg for a few days and just waiting until we see each other to catch up.
I'm a chatterbox with the right person. It's a good way to weed out people who will find me too needy before anyone gets hurt. They'll simply fade, or I won't be interested. Also, I didn't care to rack up the numbers, and being horny is a *****. I found myself thinking "Well I'm here, he's here and amenable, let's do this!". That **** just clouds my judgment, especially if the dude is rocking my world.

Be true to yourself! You'll meet someone that clicks and values you.
 

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This is why I have such a hard time with OLD. I need to interact with people in order to get a good feel for them. Mannerisms, voice tone and pace, energy, facial expressions, confidence. Those attributes can make or break it for me.
Yeah, I think it’s the same for all of us. I prefer the 3D version hands down and push for meeting sooner than later also. A great personality over the phone is wonderful but the whole package has to mesh.
 
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