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The same thing kind of applies when asked "What are you thinking about?" I hate to say it, but sometimes the crap I'm thinking about is so idiotic that I don't want anyone knowing I was thinking it. It can sometimes be the most unbelievably "out there" stuff. I don't want to tell my daughters or wife the stupid stuff I think about.
I know what you mean, kind of like this:



I've found the best thing that works for me, when a woman asks what I'm thinking, is to tell them exactly what stupid crap is going through my head at that moment. They soon learn not to ask as often.
 

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My son is 15 and only gives me 1 word answers but my 10 year old son is still a chatter box and the 8 year old is the only one in the house that can carry on a long conversation with me. Not looking forward to when he becomes a teenager. I ask DH what he was thinking during our intimate moment because I'm trying to get close to him only to have the common response "nothing " while my brain just kept going on and on with how good he was making me feel but he wasn't keen on me giving him a play bt play of the current events, lol.

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i feel this way often, silence with loved ones feels uncomfortable to me, however silence with strangers is welcomed.

my husband sometimes has to tell me to get to the point. it may not seem like it but us talkers know we talk A LOT and we honestly do try to tone it down even though it may not seem like it. lol


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Sometimes they talk so much you don't even get a chance to respond.

When they ask what your thinking ........have a couple responces you can fling out .

Just about how lucky I am to have such a sexy loving wife now come over here and give me some lovin!

That i feel a nice fart commin on!

That a new gun ,motorcycle,tool, might be in my future.

Or if you really want some alone time.

That you never shut up !!
 

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My guy asks me that whenever I get lost in thought. I don't mind it, since my mind has a tendency to wander a lot (I'm one of those introverts that has a "very rich internal life"), but I don't usually have a good answer because my brain is always in hyperdrive, and for me to explain what I was thinking in that moment is usually impossible.

He says he's just trying to understand me better and how my brain works. And all I can think is, good luck with that, buddy! :p
I'm right there with you! I can be overly focused at times but many times my mind is a million miles away and still traveling. If I tried to explain to someone what I was thinking at the moment they asked and then explained how my thoughts got to that point they would be lost in an instant! My thought process would appear to be random to others but in my mind each thought is connected or triggered by the last thought…so it all makes sense.

I was raised in a family that didn't talk much, we said what was necessary but never much wasted conversation. My kids are just like me, when they were younger it drove their mom (my then wife) nuts to the point she would literally yell at us as being a bunch of grumps!

Truthfully many times I think it's an insecurity thing, silence must mean there's something wrong to many, so they always need to fill that void with irrelevant chit chat.
 

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My parents always wanted to "speak up." Anything less than enthusiastic was described as "acting all stupid." (My parents liked throwing those words, "all" and "up" around.

Sadly, what I discovered when I got into that big wide world out there is the popular girls were the ones who spoke less. Not that they were rude. They obviously had nothing to prove.

OP, may be you can head your daughters off nicely and so that they can learn better social skills. When they ask a question you don't need to answer, just say sweetly "and why do you ask?" Smile and **** your head to the side. Whenever someone asks you a question that you can't hear, tell them you can't hear them and wait until they come to you.

I wish I had learned sooner rather than later, that I am not required to answer every question put to me. And if people need answers they can come to me, not vice versa.

Not sure how your daughters would interpret your behavior. That is, if you don't change, will they ask other people all sorts of annoying questions and then get mad when they don't get an answer. OR, will they assume that they're the question asker around here, and no one else will take their place.
 

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Because they're teenagers! LOL. I'm still in my twenties so it wasn't that long ago that my friends and I would get the annoying stares and exasperated looks from all of our yapping. No, it wasn't because we were talking about boys, or ****ty girls, or speaking too loud or using expletives - we were convent girls so we knew not to say anything in public that could get us in trouble with the sisters.

We had few worries, we were excited about growing up and the freedoms that came with it, excited about the world in general, everything still seemed so new and interesting, we were slowly finding out who we were and where we fit in, we thought we were so important and understood things that grown ups had no clue about, we were realizing that we had a voice, that we had opinions, differences etc etc.

I was this bubbly person with my friends and their parents, and the exact opposite (a robot, according to my mom who pleaded with me at one time to speak up more) at home. There I said absolutely nothing beyond yes please, no thanks, the daily greetings and curt responses to questions asked of me. I grew in an abusive home where kids were seen and not heard. Yet my parents couldn't figure out why, as we got older, we never had anything to say about our day or an opinion to add when they asked. It added a somber ambiance to an already depressing environment.

I can understand its frustrating but I would take a bubbly teenager over one who has little to nothing to say or is rude af, any day. It's a sign that they feel comfortable around you, they can trust you and their voices are valued.

That doesn't mean that you can't put them to sit down and explain that sometimes you need some quiet time. That not because you don't have anything to add means you're being moody or are in a bad mood. That in the very same way you can appreciate they enjoy conversing, they should respect your little moments of peace. That now that they're aware that it's natural to not always have something to say, they can look around and notice others who are just like you. Perhaps even some of their own friends.

Just talk to them and be straight up OP.
keke, after reading
of your various posts I'm amazed you were a convent girl !
 
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