Talk About Marriage banner

Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 16 of 16 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,528 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
So someone that is close to me who went through a marriage counselor suggested something that he and his wife heard about in counseling, and that is the idea of having a "marriage diary" that stays out in the open that you both can read and write whenever you feel the need to. And wether it's good or bad the two spouses write down their feelings & observations here and there without ever announcing it, and then leave the diary out in the open so that it can be read by both people and be available for entries and/or responses to be written down in it. Then at some point the two of you can sit down and discuss some things in there that you liked or disliked, or agreed or disagreed on.

I like the idea and I'm trying to get my wife to go for it, but my friend says that even if she doesn't for me to write stuff down and leave it out where she can read the entries, and at some point she will probably join in.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
70 Posts
Has anyone actually tried this "marriage diary" idea? Does it work?
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,528 Posts
Discussion Starter #4
Has anyone actually tried this "marriage diary" idea? Does it work?
My friend said that it has started working in his marriage after about 6 months, and it's allowed them both to get things out in the open and to share what they're feeling without having to speak. And they have both gotten in the habit of looking at it to see what each other has written, and he told me it's become like an ongoing real life novel that they're both personally involved in. He said it's also a useful tool to spot patterns both positive and negative by going back and reading past entries.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
2,853 Posts
I found an App on the Iphone called BETWEEN. It is a private area for two people. You can post photos and save comments about them. You can create 'memos' which would be like a diary. You can also just send messages to each other. You can save important dates and create 'memories'.

I thought it would be a great way to communicate, flirt, etc. I went through some old photos and posted a bunch of my wife from over the years. I have saved some important dates (birthdays, anniversaries, etc.). I have initiated a couple of chat sessions and saved some memos. She hasn't done anything with it and so I have stopped.

Thinking now, I am going to start again.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
66 Posts
Seems like all you would need to do is have an email account where you both know the password, and make a draft and just keep adding to it. If you don't want emails running back and forth. Also, this might keep you from having to feel like you need to respond right away.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
14,190 Posts
Cee Paul said: the idea of having a "marriage diary" that stays out in the open that you both can read and write whenever you feel the need to. And wether it's good or bad the two spouses write down their feelings & observations here and there without ever announcing it, and then leave the diary out in the open so that it can be read by both people and be available for entries and/or responses to be written down in it. Then at some point the two of you can sit down and discuss some things in there that you liked or disliked, or agreed or disagreed on.
I really like this Marriage Diary idea.... all young couples should consider this idea....we've always talked very openly to one another, or at least I did -about what was on my mind -getting his input.

I did start a "Family Dairy" 3 yrs ago - trying to recall all the wonderful things we've done over the years as a family, the laughable, the intense, the Joys, the highs, some of the lows & bouncing back. All of these precious memories should be recorded, it is inspiring /encouraging to look back upon.

I also started our own private Erotic Journal (not sure what to do with that as we get older)... I do all the writing...but I am careful to Quote him when we have conversations, all of that gets put in there...it will be something to look back upon to gauge where were were, how we felt, what we lived & experienced.

SadSamIAm said: I found an App on the Iphone called BETWEEN. It is a private area for two people. You can post photos and save comments about them. You can create 'memos' which would be like a diary. You can also just send messages to each other. You can save important dates and create 'memories'.
THis sounds wonderful ! :smthumbup:
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,528 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
Over this weekend I will probably pickup a nice black leather diary with lots of space in it and begin the process, and right now she doesn't seem too enthused about it but like my friend said once I start writing in it she will soon follow suit.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
70 Posts
Please let us know how it goes. I think that this sounds like a great idea, but I don't know if my H would have ever agreed to actually do it. I would be interested to know if after a few weeks whether your W is participating in it.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5 Posts
Sounds interesting! I'm going to try it! I just told my husband the idea, he just listened. Lets see if he writes in it when I get it going!

Thanks,

Smileyhappy
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,528 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
As humans we are naturally curious and so when we know that something is written down about us - we're gonna go look.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
754 Posts
Love the idea! Unfortunately my H is incommunicado with me, but I'd love to try it if ever we are talking again!
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,528 Posts
Discussion Starter #15
Love the idea! Unfortunately my H is incommunicado with me, but I'd love to try it if ever we are talking again!
Get one started and leave it on the coffee table or something, and let him know you're logging stuff in it that he's free to read and maybe his curiosity will kick in as well.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,119 Posts
I tried this with H way back before we were married. I thought we weren't getting through to each other by talking, so maybe writing stuff down, getting to take our time, getting to re-read what we each, and our partner, had written, would really overcome some of our road blocks.

Ah, it still stings to remember the diary, honestly. He'd just ignore it. He'd write in it a great once in a while, but never address what I'd said, and just frequently enough to keep my hopes up (maybe after a month or so). The he just stopped, even though I kept writing small entries every now and again to try to keep it alive. Finally I just put it away.

That's depressing, sorry! I do think it could be a great tool, but you definitely need a spouse who's willing to give it an honest go. Otherwise it's just going to end up being something that hurts you again, only this time you'll have a written record of how you tried but your spouse wouldn't.

However, doing it in conjunction with MC might help with the accountability. Would you be allowed to bring it to MC? Or is the deal that it's completely private?
 
1 - 16 of 16 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top