There are actually two separate things here: one is what the laws technically are in your state, and the other is what the judge (family court) and law enforcement will accept and listen to.
When I got my D, my attorney enlightened me to a couple of facts. One was how the local cops actually behaved when a spouse would pull "dirty tricks" such as false abuse charges (they always hauled the husband off, even if he was the one beat up and bloody and the wife was holding a machete). Even if recording everything (without notifying the other party) was technically illegal in my state, it was highly advised because that was the only thing that got the cops to eventually listen and discredit false charges brought against a couple of her clients, and she had *never* seen the legality of it even considered in all her years.
The other thing she opened my eyes to was how a lot of stuff that I might try to bring up in court wouldn't matter a whit. When I thought that my wife's BDSM-escapades and one-sided forced-open marriage might matter in that small-town, bible-belt country location and help me avoid getting shafted, she sadly set me straight and informed me that the judges had seen so much of that stuff they they normally ignored it completely unless I could show the kids were directly exposed to it.
Considering that you two are currently married, you can probably do things without reproach that the cops can't. Best thing you can do is find a lawyer who really knows your local courts and cops well, and ask a bunch of questions about how things really work, what to do, and what you can safely get away with.