Thanks for the compliment. I think I did the big picture stuff right in a surprise on-the-spot test. I included the commentary, which I'm not proud of, about what was also flashing through my mind (ha, "the devil sitting on my shoulder"). It shows the kind of inner dialogue that can be superficially tempting to a relatively "upstanding" man in my aforementioned ~85% category when he isn't getting all of his physical needs met and/or is unhappy with some of his wife's behavior.Quite the story there @backhand. If nothing else the call with the old flame should have been a confidence boost. I think it helps put you on more equal footing with your wife, but not sure if she recognizes that or not. I'm really glad to see that everything you wrote here indicates you are an upstanding man. It would have been easy to let that call run away into inappropriate territory. Also great that you talked to your wife about it, very open.
So I assume she isn't staying in a hotel since you are talking. Is she back to sleeping in the bedroom? I hope the bold action you took is pushing things in the right direction for you.