Don't read too much into that. I mean we already had established that Dr. Douchebag was Plan A. So to say I'm not even Plan B, well that isn't all that much worse, in my mind. Plus people say things in the heat of an argument that they don't mean. At least I know I do and she does.WOW what a ****ty thing to say to you -- I am surprised that you bothered to stick with the Charade as long as you did...
I was using the word "Violated" as sort of play on words. Obviously he didn't rape her. He did violate ethical rules which was effective in getting her to give him "consent." The rules say that under the circumstances, consent could not be construed to have been given even if the victim agrees that it was consensual.I highly doubt your wife felt like she had been violated. Afterall, she kept trying to be in his orbit.
While a victim is still in the grip of the predator, no, they don't fell violated. Or often not.
Fear of change has been a personality trait of mine going back as far as I can remember.Fear of change causes your anxiety.
In this case I still think the change was made for me. The big change, the status of our relationship. She made that change without input from me. Now my part is small. I now have to react to the change.
I can't say you are wrong.It looks like a case of better the devil you know than the one you don't.