Where is it written that you have to talk to her mother? Why is this any of her business?I have very mixed feelings about ending it at all. Like most that have been cheated on, my very strong preference would involve a time machine and no cheating. We had a great life together. Best friends and lovers. I wanted to grow old together. She did too, at least before the affair.
Reflect back. Upfront She was giddy about starting her new life with her new man. You and the family were nothing but an afterthought. Now that her OM dumped her I suspect you are a great plan B.
She has mixed feelings too despite what I did. One minute she will be talking about how maybe we can still be together. The next, she's talking about what she wants to take from the house when she goes.
After the first day she knew what I did, she has never again brought it up in an angry manner. Sometimes she even talks or acts like maybe she won't leave and that really scares me. Like I said, I've got such mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I can't wait for her to be gone. On the other, I can't stand the thought of being without her. So I passive aggressively make it untenable for her to stay. Making it her decision to go. Or not. Hoping she will go but if she doesn't, will I tell her she has to go? IDK.
Why is this her decision? Infidelity as you’ve seen is a lifelong gift. If you can’t make a decision you’ll stay where you are.
Now she's back. Great sex. Back to watching TV together till we fall asleep. Eating together most every meal. Going out to dinner. Making plans to double date other couples, one last time, before we split. Going to kid's sports events together.
You’re sending mixed signals. Do you want to move on or not. Playing this game won’t get you there.
She is drinking a lot more. More often and more quantity.
She has to figure this out. It’s not up to you.
She told her parents. Her mother wants to talk to me, ugh. I have avoided this woman as much as possible for years. As she ages she makes less and less sense and is so self centered she makes my x-wife look like a normal wired person.
There is nothing wrong with staying together. Most like you have a hard time making a decision so you essentially keep yourself bound. She can’t do it unless you allow it.
Where do you want to be 5 or 10 years from now? Living with her affair stuck in your craw? Or a chance at life without this in it?
It is up to you.