is there someone else?
Perhaps so, but you did the paving yourself. True, you may never have children. But if you stay, you will have this anchor around your neck forever.Instead of going back to work and helping us hopefully save money to retire one day she just sat back and said, "I'm not going back to work because I don't like my job."
Now, all my pre-marital savings are gone because I've had to pay for everything including her college education that she refuses to put use.
If I stay with her, I'll never be able to retire and I'll work till I drop dead.
The road to hell is truly paved with good intentions......
OK. The big question is how much do you love the woman? If you are still madly in love with her or suspect that you could fall in love with her again if the resentment is significant, would you want to make amends if she changes on her end? Right now you need to stop treating her like a queen and start demanding respect. Stop helping around the house. Stop buying her a bunch of little presents "just because". It doesn't work and you'll never satisfy her.Dear Plan 9,
Yes, I've always tried to give my wife what she wanted. I always tried to make her happy. Despite that, it was never enough, or not what she wanted. If I brought home roses, she says, I prefer wild flowers. When I brought home wild flowers, they were not nice enough. I dread birthdays, valentines day, and xmas as ultimately whatever I get her will not be good enough.
I also do household chores with her from time to time. Lately, she got upset with me because she got a cleaning woman (without telling me) to help her clean and I mentioned the fact that she doesn't work so why does she need a cleaning woman? I wasn't nasty, just inquired. She didn't speak to me for 2 days over my question.
I'm not perfect. I have my moments of insensitivity and aloofness, but all in all, I am a good man.
I am a doormat. When I was single, I was confident, happy, and not lonely to a nervous, miserable, and lonely guy.
To be captain obvious here: You're going to have to bite the bullet and leave sooner rather than later.You are right, I do resent my wife. I resent her for resenting me that we don't have kids. I spend tens of thousands of dollars doing fertility to no avail. She told me she resents me because I didn't spend every penny I had to continue fertility despite the fact that the doctor told us that we had a 5% chance of success.
I told her if you had kept working (she was making 55Grand per year) we could have spent every penny of that disposable income to continue trying, but she never wanted to go back to work.
I am resentful that I am the plow horse of this relationship and I get no appreciation, love, affection, no kisses, no hugs, nothing.
I am ashamed that I want to leave my marriage and more ashamed of myself that I don't have the balls to do it.
You are right, I do resent my wife. I resent her for resenting me that we don't have kids. I spend tens of thousands of dollars doing fertility to no avail. She told me she resents me because I didn't spend every penny I had to continue fertility despite the fact that the doctor told us that we had a 5% chance of success.
I told her if you had kept working (she was making 55Grand per year) we could have spent every penny of that disposable income to continue trying, but she never wanted to go back to work.
I am resentful that I am the plow horse of this relationship and I get no appreciation, love, affection, no kisses, no hugs, nothing.
I am ashamed that I want to leave my marriage and more ashamed of myself that I don't have the balls to do it.
You forgot: Princess, Queen of the Castle, Diva of the House, Boss, :scratchhead:While I realize we're only getting your side of the story,if had to label this person i'd use words like entitled,spoiled,selfish,bitter,and several other words.