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Discussion Starter #1
....what does it do for YOU?

One of the most intimate things about sex in Marriage and long term relationships IMO, is that time spent together immediately after sex, what we used to call " the afterglow."
When both partners lie naked in each other's arms , or side by side and you can actually feel their heartbeat against your chest / breast. That time when all that can be heard is soft kissing sounds and hoarse whispers..

Is it important to you?

Can what you feel in the : Afterglow" compensate for the actual sex?
Or do you just prefer to just roll over and sleep?

I know there are lots of people who have " Great Sex" here on TAM, would like to hear from both women and men!

Edit; I posted this earlier, I think it was in the wrong section
 

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I don't think it can compensate for actual sex because they are different. Sex is physical intimacy and afterglow is emotional intimacy. Sex is such an awesome tension reliever and almost like taking a sleeping pill with the added benefit of feeling close to your partner. But afterglow is so emotionally satisfying. There aren't many more things in life greater...falling alseep naked together arm in arm is the most warm, loving, secure feeling in all the world.
 

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I don't think it can compensate for actual sex because they are different. Sex is physical intimacy and afterglow is emotional intimacy. Sex is such an awesome tension reliever and almost like taking a sleeping pill with the added benefit of feeling close to your partner. But afterglow is so emotionally satisfying. There aren't many more things in life greater...falling alseep naked together arm in arm is the most warm, loving, secure feeling in all the world.
Maybe I phrased it incorrectly.
What I meant was suppose the sex way just good [ sometimes its that way becuse of stress etc. ], and not amazing.
Could that feeling you get during the afterglow compensate for it?
The nice warm fuzzy feeling, the words and feelings expressed etc?
 

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Yes, love the afterglow! We bask in the good feelings that we have created together with great sex. If either one of us jumped right up to do some task, or fell asleep immediately, we would be disappointed. We cuddle for a few glorious minutes, and feel grateful for our mutual love. It is a time of reflection, satisfaction, and prolongs the happy feelings that sex has created. Of course with quickies, we skip the afterglow part, but this is an issue of the timing of sex.
 

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Well, for me if it was great sex the afterglow will great too. If the sex was average, sometimes the afterglow can compensate for it, sometime not...
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I would definitely take mediocre sex followed by prolonged cuddles/caresses over great sex followed by nothing.
Same with my wife.
Everything sounds more romantic to her during that afterglow
 

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Our afterglow lasts outside of the bedroom too. We are especially cuddly and sweet to each other after a good lovemaking session.

Afterglow is nice, but it does not replace sex. We both have high drives and sex is just too important to pass up. It is one of the most important ways we show that we love each other as a married couple.
 

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Almost always after sex I get up and go do something. If we have sex in the morning I usually go straight to the shower. If it is at night, I get up and maybe go watch a tv show for a little bit before coming back to bed to sleep. Afterglow?
 

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The afterglow is wonderful, very connecting, very powerful, yet sweet. But it doesn't follow every sexual encounter we have. So I don't think we ever have sex in anticipation of the afterglow, or specifically for it.

But it might help that we don't necessarily always need sex to replicate that afterglow feeling. Sometimes just lying close to one another, and opening up fully, is enough to feel that. Other times we achieve that level of emotional intimacy without doing anything in particular. It all just depends.
 

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Personally I wish there was more afterglow in my relationship. Instead he rolls over "IM HOT, THANKS HONEY!" gets up and goes and plays a game. I am a little unhappy with this but we still cuddle throughout the day. I love he kisses me all over sometimes, it makes me feel special. Sometimes I'll get bored. Depends on my mood!

Afterglow.. Can it compensate for BAD sex? Yes. Sex in general? Nope. Need sex. Even bad sex.
 

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Personally I wish there was more afterglow in my relationship. Instead he rolls over "IM HOT, THANKS HONEY!" gets up and goes and plays a game. I am a little unhappy with this but we still cuddle throughout the day. I love he kisses me all over sometimes, it makes me feel special. Sometimes I'll get bored. Depends on my mood!

Afterglow.. Can it compensate for BAD sex? Yes. Sex in general? Nope. Need sex. Even bad sex.
Gotta love rolling over and then going to play a game. Good Times.
 

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I love it when we can just stay in bed...all hot and oily and smelling of sweat and sex.

Yum.

Quite often find it leads to more sex :D
Ok, to me, that just sounds kinda gross. It can be a messy act, afterwards I want to get clean, get dressed, and move on with the day.
 

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I find this whole thing kind of interesting.

I am one of those roll over and sleep types, while my H is certainly not.

I am not an affectionate person to begin with, so after sex (which is kind of the extreme of touchy-feely) I often feel like I need a cooling off period - like I need my personal space back - I start to get fidgety and uncomfortable.

I try to remain in the moment for H's sake, but it's difficult.
 

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Just read kag123's post above .... we are the other extreme from her ... (but on the same page).. Touchy feely overload warning !

Urban Dictionary: Afterglow


1. The feeling after an orgasm.
2. A sense of fulfillment, completeness, and general wellbeing that one feels after the effects of a psychoactive drug have faded, which can last from anywhere between one hour, and several days.
3. The look of contentment on a person's face after great sex
4. When you still feel like you are rolling 1 or more days after you take ecstasy. Lights are still intense, sounds still sound amazing, and you still have that "lovey" feeling.

I think my husband is the Afterglow MAN... I get a healthy dose of afterglow before sex.... always a little after - but then >> :sleeping: ......a little afterglow before he gets up in the morning for work....afterglow just hanging out alone after the kids get on the bus ...no wonder I feel High on
all the time.



As much as I bask in this feeling of emotionally connected "ecstasy" afterwards feeling so loved, needed & accepted as a woman..... I NEED to be physically filled .....yeah, I crave the SEX !! That's the culmination.... the cherry on top of ALL the afterglows we revel in...take this away... I'd grow very grouchy & act like I needed LAID....badly.

Me & my husband just doesn't grow tired of these moments, it's never too much..... At one time I took this holding, this love offering for granted...I clung to our kids more so...I've learned my lesson on that one!

But even back then....when I felt it....it was ever so strong.... years ago, it was very rare for me to fall asleep in his arms...I am a mega light sleeper & I always felt I needed my space in bed, or my movements would wake him.... but on occasion -days where I worked really hard & I was bushed....I would fall asleep in his arms, and when I awoke in his arms like that, I always felt on top of this world, total contentment, I would even tell him how much I adored that & wanted to do it more often... It was "all consuming" --this too was about the "afterglow".

In the summer months...throughout our years together , I've always enjoyed spreading out a blanket.. on the green grass under a tree.... still giddy to spend that TIME & connect with my man..... this gift we've been given in each other.... what we've built together... the kids, our home.....breathing it all in....sometimes you just don't need any words, we "read" each other. I'd call all of these things on par with the afterglow, keeping it revived in our marriages.



I asked him tonight - how he feels about thisafterglow...He says ...."It's very important, the closeness....it's something that follows you through life, even if you can't have sex , we always need that glow in our lives".
 
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