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180 is a list of behaviors that will help your spouse to see you moving forward as a healthy person. I would highly suggest that any new Loyal Spouse begin these behaviors as soon as possible. Begging, crying and promising to change looks pathetic; no one wants to be perceived as pathetic. 180 makes you look strong--and strong is attractive.

So here's the list:

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When expressing your dissatisfaction with the actions of the disloyal party, never be judgmental, critical or express moral outrage. Always explain that your dissatisfaction is due to the pain that the acts being committed are causing you as a person. This is the kind of behavior that will cause you to be a much more attractive and mysterious individual. Further it SHOWS that you are NOT afraid to move on with your life. Still more important, it will burst their positive little bubble; the one in which they believe that they can always come back to you in case things don't work out with the Other Person (OP).
 

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I'm having a hard time balancing 180 with not being rude. Like, we aren't on speaking terms because I caught him on a lie, but I need to set some boundaries, as he shouldn't be coming here when I'm not home, even if it IS to do dishes and take out the trash.

I'm not positive he's in another EA, since his best friend sort of confirmed my suspicions and then back pedaled and said he believed my H when he talked to him. My instinct tells me he is up to something. I haven't exposed or given an ultimatum, but I did write a consequence letter that just says I need limited contact and I do not approve of his "friendship" with the OW.
 
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