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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Listen to 1st VAR recording today and found out it is a male coworker she is conversing with constantly, not the female coworker she claims she is always talking to. From what I heard I think she is trying to meet this guy next Saturday possibly for the 2nd or 3rd time(not sure on this as no VAR prior). She was talking really low at times as I listened because our kids were home at the time, so couldn't make out some of what she is saying. My main problem is the lack of being able to purchase the GPS tracker t this time, as it is $100. She further confirmed her deception this evening, y wife is very adamant and will never admit to anything so I must catch her redhanded.

Reminder se has a numeric lock on her Sprint phone.
 

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You don't need a GPS tracker see if you can get her email or just flat out snatch her phone from her when shes using it and see for yourself.

Confront before the weekend.

Don't twiddle your thumbs and wait for them to have more sex

Also shes only adamant because you let her get away with it. Don't play that sh!t. I'm not saying threaten, but you need to make demands and quite frankly, man up.

Also you don't need proof to take action. You know shes cheating, finding the smoking gun won't change what you're going to have to do in the long run.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Problem is we just had a huge fight about this a few days ago where she says she doesn't understand why I don't trust her and without solid proof before I bught the VAR yesterday I couldn't prove a thing.Also it really sucks loving so much that you don't wont to lose them after 18 years of marriage.
 

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You don't need to prove anything.

And when a partner brings up trust there is almost always something going on so don't doubt what you know for a fact.


Noah, she is already gone. She is in an affair for christ sake.

If you want her to come back, you need to shut this thing down, but don't delude yourself that because shes sleeping in your house you still have her. That means nothing while shes thinking of another man.

Like I said, you know shes cheating, shes always with her cell phone and is now locking it.

Next time you see her using it, snatch it, and you'll know everything within 5 minutes. (add more if you have to sync to the computer to restore deleted texts)
 

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Keep using the VAR. If you can download the recordings. Put the files somewhere safe, make copies.

If you do not confront her before her next meetup, is there someone who can follow her to find out where she is going?
 

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You may want to also consider learning more about the next meeting, where andwhen, and follow her to it and confront them both at the same time. Catch them almost "red handed" in a situation she can't deny.
 

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Whatever you do, man, do NOT let on that you are suspicious. That could push this thing far underground. You've already got a lead with the VAR, so good job following what others suggested on your original thread.

I know this is tough. One of the toughest things you're gonna go through in your life. BUT...right now you are in control because you have a head's up. I didn't have that kind of luck. I had to discover my wife's affair on my own by finding a hotel receipt that she forgot to delete from her computer.

If you can find someone to watch you kids next Saturday, do so. If you have any family member around or close friend you can confide in you need to utilize them as a resource and do as a few have said here: Follow her.

The idea of meeting him on a Saturday is, IMO, pretty bad. My wife did the same thing for one reason...she knew I would be home with our children and wouldn't be able to leave the house. It was all about controlling the affair and it's exactly what your wife is doing here.

My advice is pretty much the same as others. Have a trusted person watch your kids next week without your wife knowing it is set up. She can NOT know. Your sitter literally needs to be in the shadows waiting to come into your home as soon as she leaves so that you can immediately get into your car and follow at least a block behind. Think Bond kind of stuff here and use your head. I would bring a good digital camera and make sure the flash is turned off. Not to catch them in the act or anything, but simply to take a picture of her car outside his house.

Then leave. Do NOT confront two people at the same time. You never know if this POS might have a firearm in his house and if you come to his door, he could easily see that as a threat to his property.

She's already been with this guy. Unless you don't want to go as far as I suggested, then you need to confront her this week. Try to get more VAR evidence, but again...do NOT reveal your source when you confront. Forget her phone. She ain't letting it out of her sight and all you need to do is look at your on-line billing to see what numbers she calling/texting.

Sorry for rambling here. It's early and I haven't had enough caffeine yet.
 

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Problem is we just had a huge fight about this a few days ago where she says she doesn't understand why I don't trust her and without solid proof before I bught the VAR yesterday I couldn't prove a thing.Also it really sucks loving so much that you don't wont to lose them after 18 years of marriage.
Sadly I know what you mean. In reality the love with make you suffer longer, thats the saddest part!
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thanks guys and gals, if you knew my wife I really do need to catch her redhanded, she is extremely passionate and convincing when it comes to lying. After our big fight about this last Saturday, when I was suspicious, she was so convincing that I apologized for questioning her. After listening to the 1st recording I know now she is and can be a really good liar.
 

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I think your good with the evidence already.
I mean she said she was talking to a girl and you confirmed it was a guy. Plus you notice changes in her. Dude you caught her. She will continue to lie if confronted but you know. If you want to keep being **** holded then that's on you.
Posted via Mobile Device
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
I am going to plant the VAR in her car tonight, since according to her call log online she talks to him mainly in her car. Hopefully she may flat out mention their encounter. Also, I will try to come up with the money to purchase the GPS tracker before next weekend. This is my plan for now.
 

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I am going to plant the VAR in her car tonight, since according to her call log online she talks to him mainly in her car. Hopefully she may flat out mention their encounter. Also, I will try to come up with the money to purchase the GPS tracker before next weekend. This is my plan for now.
Do what you must Noah. But you have enough evidence now. You should not tolerate her having a password on her phone and hiding her communications from you. You should not let her go ballistic on you in order to control you and put you in your place. You should work on being able to stand up for yourself when you are right and not feel that you have to have overwhelming evidence every time or else she will go nuclear on you. Go nuclear back or better yet just stick to your guns and walk away and tell her that you only will talk to her when she calms down.
 

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1. did you semen test the underwear from before?
2. You need to have this guys wifes number on speed dial
3. if you want to catch her red handed then you need the freedom to follow her - make sure that's arranged for Sat.
4. You do need the GPS to find which hotel they are going to. Borrow the money from a friend, telling them its an early christmas present. A slightly cheaper version would be a pay as you go phone that you install locator software on. Charge it up, and hide it in her car.

And cheaters are at their very heart highly motivated liars.

btw - if you are still having sex with her, then try to spoil the night for the OM by having her first that night!

how do you think you wife will explain her slipping away for hours on Sat to hook up with him?
 

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Listen to 1st VAR recording today and found out it is a male coworker she is conversing with constantly, not the female coworker she claims she is always talking to. From what I heard I think she is trying to meet this guy next Saturday possibly for the 2nd or 3rd time(not sure on this as no VAR prior). She was talking really low at times as I listened because our kids were home at the time, so couldn't make out some of what she is saying. My main problem is the lack of being able to purchase the GPS tracker t this time, as it is $100. She further confirmed her deception this evening, my wife is very adamant and will never admit to anything so I must catch her redhanded.

Reminder se has a numeric lock on her Sprint phone.
What if you catch her red-handed and she still won't admit to it? What if you hear her talking on the VAR saying how good the sex was with this other guy, and then when you confront her she says, "we were just joking, we always joke that way, it is an inside joke from work, I knew you wouldn't understand and you are so controlling, I can't believe you would spy on me, how dare you, if you don't apologize this instant I'm taking the kids and leaving you and filing for divorce."?

If this happens, do you apologize and try to actually get a photo of her in the act?
 
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