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Discussion Starter #1
To all who come on here, day after day, to give their time to try and help others such as myself.

I'm sitting here listening to Daughtry: Crawling back to you. And I'm all emotional..... almost in tears. Not because I'm thinking of my wife. But because I'm thinking guys like NoWhere, Conrad, UpnOver. SCSweety, Wazza, Bigmac and others just to name a few.

If time allows it, in the future, these boards will come with a wormhole... where people would be able to transport to a conference room and all get to hang out, see each other face to face, to give real hugs and to share real tears.

This is... by far the most trying ordeals in my life. I've lost best friends, close family, been involved in some tragic events and this by far, takes the cake. Pulling every emotion known, and some not known, by man in a heart wrenching time of peoples lives.

It's amazing what sharing pain can do to bring people so close. I use to have ZERO faith in society. I hated people. I thought there was no good left in the world. This place... has taught me otherwise.

Tears are now falling as I type this. Sure, I may have started in a MLC, but when "this" hit, I think it snapped me out of it, even for just a bit. My point, sure I'm in an abnormal emotional state, but yeah.

My tears fall for myself, in being humbled by so many things happening, especially on this site. They fall for others sharing the same pain, for the newbies that's just now finding their ways here. They fall for people like Sweety, who's got to be one of the strongest people I've seen.

Please smile. For I know so many know not what goes on here. You guys make things so much easier. No. WE make things so much easier for others. Even if it's just a symbolic "hand on the back" or a "Keep your head up" post. We all contribute to the healing so many seek and need.

From the bottom of my heart. THANK YOU! To everyone on this site. People can make a difference, and TAM has proven that we should never lose faith in people, and ourselves.

Sincerely,

Dewayne
 

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It's nice to see some good tears here for a change. :)

People often lob out there that "people don't change" or rarely do. And it may be that change is difficult. And inflexibility is a cause for so many woes here. But with all that caveat out of the way, I can say that one of the amazing things about TAM is that we get to help each other with REAL GROWTH. We change and grow here with every passing day.

Keep your head up, Dewayne. ;) Don't hesitate to ever reach out if there's ever anything i can be of help with. xx.
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Thanks Orpheus.

Yes. Change. This site has helped me change what I needed to change.

I am having a rough day, but no longer because I "need" my stbxw to come home. Now, it's just because... I can't afford a tree. Can't afford gifts for my child. I want to give my kid a great christmas and I can't. We're probably going to miss out on this year greatly.

We are here to help each other grow. I bet most of the people who change and stay better, has been here.
 

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Thanks Guys.

Conrad, I know man. But I want her to "feel" the christmas. I want to give her the christmas eve with the lights and tree and gifts under the tree. Waking up to me givin... nvm.

I know but... I want to give her a very good memory of christmas regardless of the b/s going on.

Oncehisangel: ty. ((((HUG)))) accepted :)
 

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You know... i'm a tree guy too. And it's probably not going to happen this year. I'll find other things to invest in and create different xmas memories this year. The "lack of tree" will also help to drive me to invest in what is really important. There will be other years for trees. Of that i'm sure. This year i just need to focus on taking care of me and creating joy to enjoy the spirit of the holidays.

I understand wanting to do everything you can for your daughter but focus on making the things you can do wonderful rather than spending energy and emotions on things you really don't have control over. Create joy for your daughter. Go to the mall and see santa; visit a public tree; go on a tour of xmas lights; take her to volunteer at a shelter and help people that need assistance. Teach her value. You're already the best gift.
 

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Society itself is a nasty label.

It's no wonder you hate it.

Hate is also an ugly word.

If you "hate" it, then you aren't indifferent to it.

Therefore you allow it to have power over you.

Example, you don't want to go out because then you have to deal with "society".

Meanwhile, you could actually think about what.YOU want and go do it.

Such as go for a walk and enjoy outside.

What you learn on here, even if it started out because of a failed marriage is not restricted to just that.

Apply it to life in general and see how you feel.
 

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D -- You may still be able to give your daughter some of those things even when funds are low. Put up a notice on Craigslist or Freecycle to see if you can get a free tree (real or fake). Our very first tree was one that I got from a friend who had an old one sitting in their attic. We lived in an apartment and couldn't have a real tree anyway. It worked out perfectly.

Make decorations with her -- you'll be making memories with her as well. Search on the web for ways to do Christmas decorations on the cheap. Some will be hokey, sure, but again, it's something you'll be doing together. :) And don't overlook thrift stores for getting lights and ornaments. I took DS and it was just as fun as getting them from a department store. They were all new to us, and we picked them out.

As a kid of divorce, I would just say good for you for not wanting to just cancel the holiday because of your pain. My mom did that to my brother and I. It was something we ended up craving, and found with other families instead as we got older. It doesn't have to be extravagant. Just full of love.
 
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My insomnia led me to your thread, Dewayne. :rolleyes:

You're getting better, by the day.

It's time for you to get even better, though, and seriously pick yourself up and move forward.

You are too great of a father and a person to wallow in her pity.

Besides, she wins when you do that. ;)

Jojo isn't old enough to conceptualize a materialistic Christmas. She's still too young and innocent. Her needs being met is what she desires.

She needs her Daddy to be strong and uplifting.

She needs to see you happy and peaceful.

She needs comfortability and structure.

And, YOU can provide her with all that.

Emotions aside, you know what you have to do, for this baby.

She is your focus, along with yourself.

Be thankful you have that sweet baby to love and cherish. She can be your rock, when you get tired.

Chin up, buddy. You're gonna be a-okay. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #11
Thanks girl. Means a lot to me.

And I know. I'm seeing it more every day. Still sad, but it's nothing compared to the things I worry about with her now. That's all I'm focusing on at the moment.
 

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Thanks girl. Means a lot to me.

And I know. I'm seeing it more every day. Still sad, but it's nothing compared to the things I worry about with her now. That's all I'm focusing on at the moment.
You got this. ;)
 

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i've truly enjoyed getting to know you on here. i have soooo many people on here that in real life would be close friends, this sight & too many to even name have seriously SAVED my life, i wouldn't want to live everyday without hearing how my brothers & sisters on here are doing, we are all here to support each other, i personally think we save each other. hope your on my friends list though dewayne.
 
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