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I joined this forum at a crucial time in my marriage. My dh and I have had a lot of problems, and a joint counseling session left my therapist convinced that I am in an emotionally abusive relationship. I let that be an excuse to entertain the idea of pursuing a relationship with a coworker (also married) who had made his feelings about me pretty clear and who I had so much in common with, I thought for sure it was meant to be.

Never in a million years did I think I could be capable of such a thing, and I never followed through with it physically although I let it get too far emotionally. I came here looking for help and advice getting past it because the guilt was killing me and it was only complicating my situation.

You guys taught me about dopamine and what it does to your brain, and you shared some of your own horror stories that helped me see the situation for what it was. I cut off contact with my coworker as much as possible, and now that the effect has worn off, he actually makes me sick. I see pictures of him and his wife and think about how she has no idea how forward he was with me. Why would anyone in their right mind want a man like that? The problem was, I wasn't in my right mind, and now I am so ashamed, but so grateful I didn't actually pursue it.

My dh suffers from a mental illness, and it took my being ready to walk out to wake him up. That gave me the upper hand in the relationship for the first time, and he is now taking his treatment more seriously and treating me with the respect I deserve. I hope it lasts, and I'm so glad I didn't ruin a good thing. And if it doesn't last, I can leave with a clear conscience and if necessary I can start a new relationship without that guilt hanging over my head for the rest of my life.

To anyone thinking about cheating, feel free to PM me so I can talk some sense into you. To those of you who shared your stories and advice - thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!
 

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I am glad to hear that you found help here. I have had so much great advice and support from the people here myself.

It sounds like you guys have more to work on and your husband is getting the help he needs. Keep it up.

Any chance you can change jobs. I am not sure how healty it is for you to stay there.
 

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So happy to hear you are healing. Also things are better in your marriage.
THere's acouple of threads of spouses (wives) in the middle of an EA or tryong to recover from them. You might help them.
 
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