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Okay I have to give you all a update. I walked out on my front porch this morning and there was my ex sitting in a chair so I said what are you doing here and she started sobbing begging me to hear her out so I said okay.
She goes on to say that had only been texting the OM for 2 weeks and that it was just some **** way to pass time at work, that they never spent time together and the never had sex.... I said to her that was not what them text said in fact it said the very opposite of what you just said and here is why.
You don't tell someone "I MISS YOU TOO BABY" unless there has been a pause in the time spent together prior and you are missing that time spent together.
You don't tell someone that you made dinner for them unless you both had talked about him making you dinner prior.
You don't tell someone that " HE DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHY THEY WAS NOT HANGING OUT TONIGHT" that night unless you had previously hung out with him.
and then she responds with
"I'M SORRY I CAN'T TONIGHT WE HAVE TO BE HERE UNTIL MIDNIGHT AND OUR LINE CANT BLUELINE. So she apologized to him about tonight and explains "WHY" she can't hang out with him that night.
I don't think anyone in this world would interpret or draw a different conclusion than what I did but would love to hear if I am missing another direction it was going ?
She’s an accomplished liar. All cheaters lie a lot. They prey on people like you. You are honest and think everyone is like you. Sorry but that’s not how it works.

Trying to get the truth out of her is a waste of time. You know the truth. Accept it or keep yourself in limbo.
 

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You are absolutely correct with saying that about liers.That is probably the toughest thing to get past as of now is that she was so cold and calculating with her lies that you question everything that you have shared with them as being a lie. I just don't get that and have a hard time trying to understand that in a person.
A good friend of mine said the hardest thing was accepting that his wife (now x) was just a very typical cheater. Nothing special about her at all. Dime a dozen.

Sounds like she’s done it before and will do it again. Serial cheaters never stop.
 

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She has not seen a tear nor will she and has commented to me about how I could be so cold and cruel towards her and I told her that carma is a mother ****er.

Damn that's good. This guy is 1/1000. This should be a model thread on how not to be a wimp.
 

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Discussion Starter · #65 ·
I don't believe people are whimps or weak I think it's as simple as we try to always see the good in people and love without limits. We are men that don't want to admit that we have been taken advantage of because it shows that we are weak,naive or otherwise dumb but love will make you believe and allow ignorant things to be done to you unt you find your heartbeat again than anyone that finds that strength to say not gonna happen to me that way again then you take charge of how your allowing yourself to be treated.
 

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Well a little update for all to read I walked up to my soon to be ex wife's lover boy REDACTED and asked if he had enjoyed ****ing my wife and then his statement hit me....
Who is your wife because I don't mess around with married women. So I tell him who she is and he says look man "She told me that she was not married" or involved with anyone else please believe me I didn't know she was married and I'm sorry for anything that I have caused in your relationship.
After I walked away from him I thought to myself how many men or women have been on that side of an affair that blindsided them as much as the cheated on individual.
 

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Well a little update for all to read I walked up to my soon to be ex wife's lover boy and asked if he had enjoyed ****ing my wife and then his statement hit me....
Who is your wife because I don't mess around with married women. So I tell him who she is and he says look man "She told me that she was not married" or involved with anyone else please believe me I didn't know she was married and I'm sorry for anything that I have caused in your relationship.
After I walked away from him I thought to myself how many men or women have been on that side of an affair that blindsided them as much as the cheated on individual.
He was lying and that was stupid of you.
 

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Well a little update for all to read I walked up to my soon to be ex wife's lover boy and asked if he had enjoyed ****ing my wife and then his statement hit me....
Who is your wife because I don't mess around with married women. So I tell him who she is and he says look man "She told me that she was not married" or involved with anyone else please believe me I didn't know she was married and I'm sorry for anything that I have caused in your relationship.
After I walked away from him I thought to myself how many men or women have been on that side of an affair that blindsided them as much as the cheated on individual.
That was not very smart. It made you feel good I know, but you could be charged with a crime if POSOM decided to push the issue. Is she worth doing time in the Greybar motel?
 
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Stupidest thing I ever heard. What did you expect him to say? Give me three steps give me three steps mister, and you’ll never see me no mo’—- that’s for sho’!

How does one walk up and do this btw? You sound kinda like you’ve done this before, Vinny.
 

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From an old soldier, never, never threaten with a weapon, it is for defensive and offensive purposes only and only to be brought to bare in high expectation of it's imminent use and in full cognizance of the consequences of such action. Such action may likely have unforeseen and definite consequences ranging in impact from devastating to inconvenient or financially costly.

That being said, you now know that your wife chooses to end her marriage each time she leaves your presence. Move along and make that chosen state of being single permanent for her where she no longer has the choice to use you as husband when it suits her. Speed along with that divorce and do as much as you can to completely cut her out of your life, protection and financial bubble immediately.

You have to remember also, that people in fear of their life would say anything in hope of another breath. What he told you might be the fabrication he though most likely to keep him breathing. I never fully trust the words of a scared and threatened man.
 

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OP--
Very, very stupid move. (I'm not even going to quote it for your protection.)
@No Longer Lonely Husband is correct--you could get charged with a crime.
A cheating skank is not worth doing time for.

Since you're thinking with your emotions, not your logic, let me tell you this: do not admit to ANYONE you did that. Not to police, not to your wife (soon to be ex), not to your family...NO ONE.
It would be OM's word against yours. Don't allow ANYONE get the ability to corroborate anything the OP claims/alleges.

The "yeah, I did it, but".... response will earn you jail time. No one cares about your "excuse" or "justification" for your actions. Least of all, the authorities.
So just deny. Deny, deny, deny. Make them prove it. Don't help them.
 

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I don't believe people are whimps or weak
Their is a story of a betrayed spouse where the EVIL wife was having an affair and was having sex in his house and on his bed, he found out that the OM (other man) sometimes finishes on his clothes and the poor husband wares it the next day to work, and the wife and AP both laughed through text, and sometimes when she finishes work she passes by her AP house for a quickie and comes home to have sex with her husband for sloppy seconds and they laughed about it through text.. BJ comes home kisses husband and they lough about it, she cucked him!
They were like playing games with the poor husband, It was a devastating story!
The husband was so weak he opted to reconcile with his wife!
Few month he comes back complaining that his wife doesn't do the sex acts she used to do with her AP, how weak is that?!

I know this story is extreme, but there are weak men, plenty of them, brows this forum and other relationship forums and you will see how many get cheated on horribly and stayed, even some got turned into cucks!
These type of men always get the bad deal, they live in misery!

@Intolerant72 Your wife will gaslight the hell out of you to not get divorced!
Look at it this way, at her age the prospect of her finding a decent husband or a any husband at all is almost ZERO, and she knows it!
All she will find is desperate men who want some bedroom action!
She had it all, and she blew it, she took you for granted, she took her marriage for granted, and at her age she should be thanking her lucky stars to have a loving husband and a home, but she allowed her self to be a side piece for another man and blow up her marriage!

You, on the other hand, you are middle aged man, you are in your prime age, you see, the prime age for men is between 40 and 55 years old, this is when men got their s**t together, you will find younger more beautiful women who are faithful and loving.

NEVER EVER settle with a cheater, don't deny yourself happens!
 

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Stupidest thing I ever heard. What did you expect him to say? Give me three steps give me three steps mister, and you’ll never see me no mo’—- that’s for sho’!

How does one walk up and do this btw? You sound kinda like you’ve done this before, Vinny.
ROTFLMAO! Love that song
 
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OP--
Very, very stupid move. (I'm not even going to quote it for your protection.)
@No Longer Lonely Husband is correct--you could get charged with a crime.
A cheating skank is not worth doing time for.

Since you're thinking with your emotions, not your logic, let me tell you this: do not admit to ANYONE you did that. Not to police, not to your wife (soon to be ex), not to your family...NO ONE.
It would be OM's word against yours. Don't allow ANYONE get the ability to corroborate anything the OP claims/alleges.

The "yeah, I did it, but".... response will earn you jail time. No one cares about your "excuse" or "justification" for your actions. Least of all, the authorities.
So just deny. Deny, deny, deny. Make them prove it. Don't help them.
At my DDay I had to check my ego as I am wired to retaliate. My lawyer forwarned my not to get physical as I had assets to protect. It was hard. I just resorted to telling the POSOM “ Not if, but when” the day I encountered him on the other side of the gas pump a couple of months later as I was filling up my truck. I think Mr GQ POSOM **** his britches. The look on his face was priceless. Had he tried to get physical with me....well he knew he would be taken out in a body bag.
 

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Discussion Starter · #76 ·
Hello everyone it's been a solid 3 weeks since I went ghost and I wanted to apologize for doing that ignorant thing that I did to the OP. It's hard to keep yourself grounded when dealing with a thing of this magnitude. I do have some reporting to do so here goes. The OP called me and asked me to meet him somewhere because he would like to talk to me about the" issue" so I said sure and met him that night at a open well lite area just in case maybe he was thinking silly **** so I had put my phone on record so if anything went down I had proof on my side so he again apologies stating that she said that she was single and he never gets involved with anyone that has a SO and I do believe he was telling me the truth.
So I had written down a few questions I wanted answered and he was very open to answering them.
1st question: How long have you two been ****ing for and who was the aggressor. He said he meet her at the bar one night around Thanksgiving 2019 she was with her black women friend from work and he said what's up you like black people and her response was "You gotta get it when you can get it besides ain't nothing wrong with a little dark chocolate"
So she gave him her number and the very next day the met at his place and had sex and that they was having sex probably 4-6 times a month. So I asked him where did you guys have sex at your place or mine house and he said she was clear that it was only at his house and said he never knew where she lived at other than the town. So I asked did you ever go down to Tennessee with her and he confirmed what I had assumed that he had gone down with her 3 times in 2020. So I asked didn't you ever get suspicious that she had someone else that was texting her and he said she claimed it was her roommate that was always texting her and calling her. Long story short she was sleeping with this guy since Thanksgiving 2019 and was playing him as well as 2 other men from her work and had a reputation around work as a *****. There was more questions but nothing really worth sharing. He said that she had told him that her ex husband had come back into her life in January 2021 but she was still giving it up until that night I ended it because she called him and told him that I found out she was seeing him while we was working on rekindling our relationship and she hasn't tried getting ahold of him since then.
I haven't not heard from the soon to be EW since she was served with papers however we have a 6 month cooling off period before it will be granted. She came right over after being served and was trying to feed me all kinds of ******** lies about what had happened so I just let her keep going on so I got up and turned on my house stereo on Bluetoothed my phone to it and started playing my recording of her **** buddy spilling the beans on what was what and she turned as red as the sun and just started going crazy with anger at me and I finally got her hands around her back and told her how is she gonna get upset with me because she was caught red handed and that's that I haven't heard or seen her since the 4th of July.
 

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Hello everyone it's been a solid 3 weeks since I went ghost and I wanted to apologize for doing that ignorant thing that I did to the OP. It's hard to keep yourself grounded when dealing with a thing of this magnitude. I do have some reporting to do so here goes. The OP called me and asked me to meet him somewhere because he would like to talk to me about the" issue" so I said sure and met him that night at a open well lite area just in case maybe he was thinking silly **** so I had put my phone on record so if anything went down I had proof on my side so he again apologies stating that she said that she was single and he never gets involved with anyone that has a SO and I do believe he was telling me the truth.
So I had written down a few questions I wanted answered and he was very open to answering them.
1st question: How long have you two been ****ing for and who was the aggressor. He said he meet her at the bar one night around Thanksgiving 2019 she was with her black women friend from work and he said what's up you like black people and her response was "You gotta get it when you can get it besides ain't nothing wrong with a little dark chocolate"
So she gave him her number and the very next day the met at his place and had sex and that they was having sex probably 4-6 times a month. So I asked him where did you guys have sex at your place or mine house and he said she was clear that it was only at his house and said he never knew where she lived at other than the town. So I asked did you ever go down to Tennessee with her and he confirmed what I had assumed that he had gone down with her 3 times in 2020. So I asked didn't you ever get suspicious that she had someone else that was texting her and he said she claimed it was her roommate that was always texting her and calling her. Long story short she was sleeping with this guy since Thanksgiving 2019 and was playing him as well as 2 other men from her work and had a reputation around work as a *. There was more questions but nothing really worth sharing. He said that she had told him that her ex husband had come back into her life in January 2021 but she was still giving it up until that night I ended it because she called him and told him that I found out she was seeing him while we was working on rekindling our relationship and she hasn't tried getting ahold of him since then.
I haven't not heard from the soon to be EW since she was served with papers however we have a 6 month cooling off period before it will be granted. She came right over after being served and was trying to feed me all kinds of **** lies about what had happened so I just let her keep going on so I got up and turned on my house stereo on Bluetoothed my phone to it and started playing my recording of her **** buddy spilling the beans on what was what and she turned as red as the sun and just started going crazy with anger at me and I finally got her hands around her back and told her how is she gonna get upset with me because she was caught red handed and that's that I haven't heard or seen her since the 4th of July.
What a lying, effing *****. I'm so sorry you are going through this At least you have no doubts about what happened and that you are right to be done with it all.
 

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Keep to no contact, let everyone know WHY you are divorcing her (although it sounds like everyone she works with already know this). Live YOUR life.
 

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Discussion Starter · #79 ·
I believe the tick is moving back to Tennessee as soon as she can find another host to uproot with her.
I have walked pass her many time the last few weeks and I never one time even acknowledge her presence.
The hurt will hit out of the blue very soon I'm sure but I'm still very hatful at this time.
 

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I believe the tick is moving back to Tennessee as soon as she can find another host to uproot with her.
I have walked pass her many time the last few weeks and I never one time even acknowledge her presence.
The hurt will hit out of the blue very soon I'm sure but I'm still very hatful at this time.
I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope the divorce is smooth.

By the way. You are OP (original poster). he is OM(other man). She is STBXW (soon to be exwife) :)
 
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