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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
This last year has been by far the most challenging of our marriage, and I am struggling to figure what to do for our ten year anniversary. Trust was broken on his part, he has been working to rebuild it. I believe he was in an EA, he says they were just friends, either way, he was fulfilling a need that apparently I was not. So we hit the drawing board and for a while seemed to making some serious progress in reconnecting.... lately, seems to have just become stagnant. We were both sick at different times, however, I feel like many of the things we talked about throughout this past year and worked on together, some of the main points that I was trying to make on my needs in the marriage just go in one ear and out the other and at the same time have worked on everything he mentioned to me, and I do mean everything, from sex, to fun companionship to family time, to simply more tv time (yes he requested that although for me that does nothing). I said last July I was going to give my all for a year. I have found myself the last couple weeks more appreciative of the little things he does that I notice my friends husbands do not do, and I have told him so. I guess because with ten years right around the corner I am a bit more reflective on the progress we have made versus how far we still have to go. Advice for an anniversary? We cannot take a vacation, I am not even sure we will be able to organize a night with no kids... I don't want the simple special love making night... I actually gave him something I thought was really special and thoughtful for his birthday and he said it made him feel all sorts of emotions, but then didn't speak of it again. It was a memory box, full of my favorite memories of us. I have tried to be more romantic to him, because he says I expect it too much of him, when I can do things too... I'm at a total loss as to ideas for our anniversary.... any help???
 

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I don't know what to tell you. I'm surprised no one has responded to you yet.

Try to sit down one night and think back to the beginning of your relationship. Is there a specific spot in town that means a lot to you? Like for me, my stbxw and I made love on a country road out by a grain bin. It was exciting. We were talking and suddenly I pulled the car over, pulled her out of the vehicle and started making out. She was wearing a nice dress and so it was easy. Luckily no one came by haha. But that was a very memorable moment for me.

If my wife were to take me to that ... ok stbxw were to R, and THEN take me to that spot and do that to me... it'd mean the world to me.

Think of something that may have significance to you and redo it. take him somewhere that's important. Think of something he's always wanted, no matter how small of an item it is, then find a very romantic way to give it to him.

Get a hotel and kidnap him.

Sorry, that's all I got. I'm kinda "off" on my thinking this morning.

Good luck.
 
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I've shared my own struggles on the forum before and am thankful there have been some breakthroughs and didn't go down the road of divorce ourselves. We're coming up to our own 10year anniversary also and for it we are taking a short holiday with the children. But more than this, I will be planning a gift I know she likes and if it it is that your husband likes photographic memories, then the memory box is a great idea. A chronological account of your relationship and what you have been through might be a lovely gesture to rejuvenate those fond moments and remind you why you are together now. All the best for that.
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How about something I like to call "Rediscovery Anniversary."

OK. I actually advocate it on a date to date basis too, but you get the point.

What is it?

Rediscovery is the process of becoming your own living memory box. You can do this by recreating the sounds, feelings, and feel of your first time of love for one another as a starting point. This reignites the old feelings in an environment that encourages romance. Doing it often allows both of you to rediscover who you are now as people as well.

I give many tips and stories related to rediscovery in my newsletter. It is the basis for many of my newsletter messages that I send out to my subscribers.

So as not to make this post about my newsletter. I wont give the link here to the sign up page. If you or anyone else is interested in these please message me and I will gladly provide the link.

For now, I suggest having a conversation about what he liked about you when you were first in love. Then try to accentuate those characteristics about yourself when having your 10th Anniversary. The best part is that you can recreate all this in your own home for very little money. I do it often and I mean, on a schedule with my wife every week and our love for each other and desire to get closer to one another has grown immensely, right along with our level of romance...

... All while the kids are sleeping at night. It is hard for us to have a night out with a babysitter so this works wonderfully for us!

I hope that this idea helps you and your marriage for many more years to come!

Cheers!
 
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