Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.
1 - 11 of 11 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
41 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Someone explain this to me.I as a HD Man married to LD Women
In life it was always stated you get what you put out?? Well in my case it works like this ,The more nice I am, The more loveable I am ,The more cuddlely, The less I get back. If I stop for a week and display no affection,No desire, No passion,No cuddling,No kissing,My wife all of a sudden will comes on to me. If I pay no attendition to her she wants me. If I show her that I love her dearly and smoother her with love she pulls back.
So to play the game.I have to act like I don't care and I get love and sex. So is this uncommon or common.Really if I want to get laid I have to act like I don't want to get laid. Very confusing to the adverage man??
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,107 Posts
So to play the game.I have to act like I don't care and I get love and sex. So is this uncommon or common.Really if I want to get laid I have to act like I don't want to get laid. Very confusing to the adverage man??
It's not uncommon. You're simply assuming that men and women think alike. We don't. You're also assuming that your wife wants the same thing you want. She doesn't.

Now, sometimes, a man and a woman who think the same way and want the same things will marry and then it's easy for them. If they both like cuddling, then it creates a feedback loop that ramps up their enjoyment to the point that the rest of us get sick looking at it.

But most of the time, one partner loves to cuddle and the other likes it less. Sometimes, the other partner absolutely hates to cuddle.

So you just need to work your wife the way she wants to be worked. If she's attracted to independent men who don't smother her, then you need to be that to get sex.

Good luck.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,811 Posts
I think women (in general, not all) view sex as a means to secure a relationship while men view sex as an ongoing thing in the relationship.

Thus, when you start getting distance, your wife gets a bit insecure. Insecurity in the relationship makes her want to make the relationship secure, and to secure a relationship means sex.

This all could be subconscious to your wife, and she does this loop without even noticing it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: SadSamIAm

·
Banned
Joined
·
2,599 Posts
I put it down to the natural perversity of the female gender....

Within 24 hours of a big row my wife will aproach me for sex....

I kind of think it's part of the natural attraction women have to alpha males....

We had a spat last night and I came on big time alpha, blew off her bs arguments, pushed her onto the massage table, stripped off her sweats and began rubbing all over her body....The Uber Bitc# became docile as a lamb, even offered sex....She asked why I was acting so DIFFERENT!!! i TOLD HER I WAS TIRED OF BEING A DOORMAT FOR HER, AND THINGS WERE ABOUT TO CHANGE......We will see how these new tactics work, so far, so good....She was in a sweet mood this morning....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
41 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Ya ,Maybe I should take a course in Female Sexual Behavioral Science.After 30 yrs of marriage I don't know what I have learned.Seems like the course keeps changing.
Seems like I have missed so many classes that I don't think I can get caught back up to pass.It always always so simple before.Now it has turned into a very complexed course.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,036 Posts
Now I'm starting to get it.

Most women want what they can't have, use sex to get a man, to get a relationship, to get things done and bought for them. Men see sex are a way to keep the relationship healthy and strong. Most women use sex to keep the relationship going. If men are somewhat jerks, women like the challenge and it keeps them on their toes. If you do whatever she says and are a nice sweet cuddly guy, nice guys finish last and get taken advantage of. This is sad but true and I totally agree with this post. Wife isn't in the mood for 2+ weeks, guy gets sexually frustrated and pulls back, wife get worried and has sex with him to keep the relationship going, then back to her old ways of 2+ weeks again........she shouldn't of been in a relationship or marriage to begin with and in all fairness, LD guys should never waste the time of HD women.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,811 Posts
Now I'm starting to get it.

Most women want what they can't have, use sex to get a man, to get a relationship, to get things done and bought for them. Men see sex are a way to keep the relationship healthy and strong. Most women use sex to keep the relationship going. If men are somewhat jerks, women like the challenge and it keeps them on their toes. If you do whatever she says and are a nice sweet cuddly guy, nice guys finish last and get taken advantage of. This is sad but true and I totally agree with this post. Wife isn't in the mood for 2+ weeks, guy gets sexually frustrated and pulls back, wife get worried and has sex with him to keep the relationship going, then back to her old ways of 2+ weeks again........she shouldn't of been in a relationship or marriage to begin with and in all fairness, LD guys should never waste the time of HD women.
I'll play devil's advocate here and ask, why not?

It's the guy who shouldn't have married her. It's why pre-marital sex should be done, and for a few years before marriage. See if there is a drop off or if there is yo-yo type of situation before commiting to the marriage.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,036 Posts
Why is it usually the man's issue or fault? It is 50% the women's fault. This is the 21st century. Men and Women are equals, right? No double standard anymore, right?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,811 Posts
Why is it usually the man's issue or fault? It is 50% the women's fault. This is the 21st century. Men and Women are equals, right? No double standard anymore, right?
I'm not suggesting a double standard.

Rather I'm saying to inspect before you invest.

We hear about the 'bait and switch' concept a lot, and I've even applied to it my ex-wife regarding our marriage. That said, I'd wager that most bait and switches become apparent over a period of time, whether a ring is on a finger or not. It certainly was the case in my marriage, I was just to dumb and elected to go ahead and get married because I thought things would get better. That's my fault. I could have walked away before marriage, but i didn't.

That's what I'm saying, that both spouses need to invest more time inspecting the relationship, including sex, before they get married. It's not always of course, but most often, a sexual problem will show up if it's there, whether or not you are married. She'll fake it (or he in some cases) until she gets comfortable, which can occur well before the wedding in many cases.
 
1 - 11 of 11 Posts
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top