I appreciated comments to my last thread, but I think I may have missed the mark so I'm trying it again. Thanks for your patience!
I met and married my husband rather quickly, about three years ago. When we met I was going through an unprecedented rough time at work, he was coming out of a divorce and rebuilding his life. While we both had our own interests, it felt like we were a team as well. I was happy as a single, but I really craved this idea of building a life together with someone else.
Right now, I'm wondering what happened, because three years down the road he has a list of lovely goals - and not a single one has anything to do with our life together, if anything, they're constantly held up as excuses for why he can't participate in our life. I'm beginning to feel like "will you marry me" wasn't shorthand for "let's build a life together", it was shorthand for "let me use you to build a life for myself." He's not a bad guy, I don't hate him, but I'm very disappointed to keep reaching for this sense of partnership and coming up empty.
Any advice on how to change this, or where to even begin a dialog on it?
I met and married my husband rather quickly, about three years ago. When we met I was going through an unprecedented rough time at work, he was coming out of a divorce and rebuilding his life. While we both had our own interests, it felt like we were a team as well. I was happy as a single, but I really craved this idea of building a life together with someone else.
Right now, I'm wondering what happened, because three years down the road he has a list of lovely goals - and not a single one has anything to do with our life together, if anything, they're constantly held up as excuses for why he can't participate in our life. I'm beginning to feel like "will you marry me" wasn't shorthand for "let's build a life together", it was shorthand for "let me use you to build a life for myself." He's not a bad guy, I don't hate him, but I'm very disappointed to keep reaching for this sense of partnership and coming up empty.
Any advice on how to change this, or where to even begin a dialog on it?