My husband and I have been having issues for several years mainly related to a power struggle. From my perspective, he wants to control everything from money to raising our children to how I spend my spare time. You name it he feels he has the right to make the final decision on the topic. Now that we are separating he wants to control the terms. I want to tell the kids the truth; of course not the entire story just what they need to know. I suggested that the kids stay with me during the week and he take them on the weekend while we decide on the next step (work on saving the marriage or divorce). He wants to go to an apartment Monday to Friday and come back home for the weekend. We would tell the kids that Dad is traveling on business. I feel this arrangement is unfair because I will have zero time to myself to think things through. We discussed this plan with a Therapist and she said that it is unorthodox but could work if we agree to not talk about our issues during our weekends together. In addition my husband would be fully responsible for the kids during the weekend. I reluctantly agreed and we scheduled a follow up appointment with the Therapist in 3 weeks.
This was our first week following my husband "separation" plan. Yesterday when I was working late, my husband called home to speak with the kids and our 7 year old had a melt down saying that he missed Daddy. My husband called me at work and chewed me out for working late and said that I was irresponsible for choosing to work late the first week of the "separation" and he called me brainless. I was taken aback by the name calling and given that the kids where told that he was away on business why couldn't he see that our son was just missing his daddy. I felt that he was projecting his guilt of being away on me. He decided to come back early and now there is tension in the house because I do not want to be around him and per our agreement I can't talk with him about what happened.
I would love advice on how to get through this
This was our first week following my husband "separation" plan. Yesterday when I was working late, my husband called home to speak with the kids and our 7 year old had a melt down saying that he missed Daddy. My husband called me at work and chewed me out for working late and said that I was irresponsible for choosing to work late the first week of the "separation" and he called me brainless. I was taken aback by the name calling and given that the kids where told that he was away on business why couldn't he see that our son was just missing his daddy. I felt that he was projecting his guilt of being away on me. He decided to come back early and now there is tension in the house because I do not want to be around him and per our agreement I can't talk with him about what happened.
I would love advice on how to get through this