[CallaLily]

Not sure where to put this, but,what is your take on suspicious people? People who are that way in general, why?

I have been at my place of employment for 13 yrs. I have enjoyed it and been a loyal worker etc. Recently we got a new boss. We were all not thrilled with the new change and that our old boss was retiring but we knew that day would come. We have all seemed to adjust well, and given this new boss a chance and welcomed her.

She is very different from my last boss. My last boss was not a micro-manager, she listened when you talked. She wasn't short tempered, she didn't gossip, she didn't question every move people made etc. It was a kind of relaxed environment.

The new boss seems nice, she gets things done and has a mind for running a business. These are good things, BUT she acts suspicious of people. Questions them about things etc. Makes others feel like their loyalty is being questioned. Its not a good feeling. She has sarcastic humor, which I can be like that as well at times. Most of the time people know when I'm joking, with her its hard to tell.

Like I said we all like her actually, just not sure how to take the questioning of things and the suspicion, Thats new, we didn't have to deal with that before. Another thing I noticed to is, she will pull me in the office to vent about others! Some of the things she says about others I really don;t want to know or feel I need to know. I have kept my mouth shut, as I don't want this to be some kind of test to see if I run back and tell what was said. Some of the things she says though isn't very nice, and its about people who I know have been with the company for years are are loyal people. I also know how the whole gossip thing works too. If they can gossip TO you about others, then they can gossip to others ABOUT you. I'm not into playing that game. She kinda hits me as one of these people who smiles at you while you're in front of her, but when you turn your back its a different story.

Its very possible to, I'm not the only person she pulls in the office to vent to, but in case I am, I don't really like it. It seems unethical to me. And if it were a test, not sure why. Do you think suspicion comes from intimidation? I just don't get why some people are like that, and not sure how to handle it either.

Suggestions? Thoughts on why some people are suspicious?

 

[45188]

Shes projecting her own 2 facedness onto others is all.

My suggestion is to tell her you don't like being gossiped to. If she sees you listen, she'll think you're interested and like you said, a bit of a backstabbing type..

 

[dormant]

I'd be temped to straight out ask her, if she talks about me to others, too.

 

[CallaLily]

I'd be temped to straight out ask her, if she talks about me to others, too.

Well I would think she would just lie.

And even if she did talk to others about me, its ok, I know who I am. I mean if thats how she feels she needs to be to make her self feel better.

 

[norajane]

The new boss seems nice, she gets things done and has a mind for running a business. These are good things, BUT she acts suspicious of people. Questions them about things etc. Makes others feel like their loyalty is being questioned. Its not a good feeling.

Could she be asking a lot of questions so she can learn how people do things in the office and why?

 

[CallaLily]

Could she be asking a lot of questions so she can learn how people do things in the office and why?

Could be, but most of the questions or how things work around there were answered by our last boss. And yes, I'm sure she still has questions they we all try to answer. But its the way she goes about it too. She acts like all people have a motive. Not sure why.

 

[Jamison]

Could be a number of things. Personality disorder, intimidation of others so they feel they need to assert their power over others, by questioning peoples motives etc. Gossiping in her eyes may make her think she looks good, it doesn't. Makes her look stupid and not trust worthy. Two face people are often insecure about themselves. My guess is they also either lie or exaggerate the truth to makes others like them etc. I think its a self esteem issue, or lack there of more than anything.

As far as the gossiping issue goes, its up to you whether you choose to say anything or not. IME, people who are doing wrong usually don't always have to be called out, sometimes things will catch up with them anyway, then your hands are clean. Things will be revealed when they are supposed to be. As far as if this is a loyalty test or not, thats ridiculous of her to do. If she places such little value on the people she works with then, maybe shes in the wrong job. If she is worried about loyalty of others then that will come out in time, not by questioning peoples motives etc. I don't care how well someone can run a business or get things done, if they have no people real people skills, or no trust and respect, its likely to fail anyway.

 

[CallaLily]

Could be a number of things. Personality disorder, intimidation of others so they feel they need to assert their power over others, by questioning peoples motives etc. Gossiping in her eyes may make her think she looks good, it doesn't. Makes her look stupid and not trust worthy. Two face people are often insecure about themselves. My guess is they also either lie or exaggerate the truth to makes others like them etc. I think its a self esteem issue, or lack there of more than anything.

As far as the gossiping issue goes, its up to you whether you choose to say anything or not. IME, people who are doing wrong usually don't always have to be called out, sometimes things will catch up with them anyway, then your hands are clean. Things will be revealed when they are supposed to be. As far as if this is a loyalty test or not, thats ridiculous of her to do. If she places such little value on the people she works with then, maybe shes in the wrong job. If she is worried about loyalty of others then that will come out in time, not by questioning peoples motives etc. I don't care how well someone can run a business or get things done, if they have no people real people skills, or no trust and respect, its likely to fail anyway.

Thanks, this very well may be the case.