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Suggestions needed

2K views 13 replies 7 participants last post by  Mr Blunt 
#1 ·
new here

coming off a long term relationship and the divorce was finalized at the end of last year. my past SO is having second thoughts and reconciliation has been discussed. I would entertain the thought of doing this.

my question is this. even before the divorce was finalized my SO had someone in their life. this person is still there but in and out (so I've been told) and don't really feel comfortable trying to start the process with this person still there

I am in a much better place today but do miss the family. I am working on me, getting physically and emotionally healthy every day.

what to do
 
#3 ·
Welcome to the driver's seat!!!

You set the boundaries for the R including no contact with POSOM.

I think you are going to have issues for a long time regarding her being with POSOM. Be prepared for a very long healing journey and she has to be all in.

Good luck bro', I am attempting R and it is hard, emotionally charged and exhausting.

Stretch
 
#9 ·
Your spouse is a monkey, *SO* can't let go of one vine until *SO* has another.

The question is, what preventive maintenence will *SO* do to prevent from grabbing at someone else's vine in the future?

Did you noticed the commas? :lol:

Ya the spelling sucks!:(

I guess spelling and punctuation is more important then the fact that we all got screwed over by our cheat SO.:D

OP, is your SO's name Pat, Sam..or Jan?:D
 
#12 ·
are you sure of the timeline? she starting with this guy AFTER you two had planned to divorce? if this guy is the reason for the split, then no, don't be the fall back plan, don't be plan b.

if it was only when you two were waiting for the paperwork to clear, then treat this other guy like any other ex-boyfriend...limited contact, etc.
 
#14 ·
By Bigntall
new here

coming off a long term relationship and the divorce was finalized at the end of last year. my past SO is having second thoughts and reconciliation has been discussed. I would entertain the thought of doing this.

my question is this. even before the divorce was finalized my SO had someone in their life. this person is still there but in and out (so I've been told) and don't really feel comfortable trying to start the process with this person still there

I am in a much better place today but do miss the family. I am working on me, getting physically and emotionally healthy every day.
what to do
It is crucial that you continue to work on you getting physically and emotionally healthier; make that your number one priority. I have heard that it takes from 4-5 years to recover emotionally from a divorce. You are in no shape to make such a big decision in regards to taking you x-wife back right now.





seems things have to be on her terms for it to happen.
BINGO that is a winner of a clue for you! If you miss this huge red flag then you are gullible and weak.
 
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