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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am not married yet but thought that this might be the best place to place this thread

I found these rubber hoods and tubes that my boyfriend has hid away with photos of woman putting masks and rebreathing bags on men.

I am shocked as he has never mentioned this fetish to me before.

He has asked me to play with him as he calls it.

I dont know what to do as if I say no he might go off and find someone else to do these things to him.
 

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Dude.

Big red flag, imo.

Don't do it. People die from this all the time.
 

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Let him get that elsewhere if that's what he's into (and if you are that into him). Seriously. Make sure to get a good life insurance policy on him too. You will probably make out on that deal.
 

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Yep, this is scary stuff. You could end up killing him accidently. But you would most likely still be chared with some level of murder.

And... he might want end up wanting you to be on the receiving end of suffication as well.

Let him go. The reason for dating is to find out if a person is right for you. I think you just found out that he is not.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I dont wish to lose him and there is no way I would let him go off and play his games with someone else.
I need to have a think and study this fetish more.
Would be interesting to chat to another woman who plays these suffocation games with there other half.
How do you know when to stop ? is one of the questions I would like to ask.
 

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I dont wish to lose him and there is no way I would let him go off and play his games with someone else.
I need to have a think and study this fetish more.
Would be interesting to chat to another woman who plays these suffocation games with there other half.
How do you know when to stop ? is one of the questions I would like to ask.
If he really loved you and you didn't want to play these (DANGEROUS) games, he'd understand and stick around...

Everyone has boundaries and in this case, it's my opinion, that these games are a big NO.

Not everything gets ticked off on my wish list and that's fine with me.
 

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I dont wish to lose him and there is no way I would let him go off and play his games with someone else.
I need to have a think and study this fetish more.
Would be interesting to chat to another woman who plays these suffocation games with there other half.
How do you know when to stop ? is one of the questions I would like to ask.
I wonder if the people you talk to will have adequate knowledge of what is happening in the brain while this mask is forcing your BF to rebreathe his CO2. It sounds like hypocapnia which is basically starving your brain of oxygen until you lose consciousness. Very risky.
 

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I am not married yet but thought that this might be the best place to place this thread

I found these rubber hoods and tubes that my boyfriend has hid away with photos of woman putting masks and rebreathing bags on men.

I am shocked as he has never mentioned this fetish to me before.

He has asked me to play with him as he calls it.

I dont know what to do as if I say no he might go off and find someone else to do these things to him.
How would you like to make a little mistake and have him not get up? Too dangerous...Ditto autoerotoc asphyxiation....See David Carrodine....It really killed Bill.....
 

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I dont wish to lose him and there is no way I would let him go off and play his games with someone else.
I need to have a think and study this fetish more.
Would be interesting to chat to another woman who plays these suffocation games with there other half.
How do you know when to stop ? is one of the questions I would like to ask.
You stop when you can't breath. I really like to breath. Breathing is good. No breathing is bad.

That is all you really need to know.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
From what I have read about the subject it seems one should never do this alone.
How can one insert a photo as I would like to show the tubes and rebreathing bags I found.?
 
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That is too dangerous for me. No way!

RED FLAG
 

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It's Ok to have good clear boundaries in your relationship.

Your boyfriend needs to know his fantasy is not healthy. So rather then go along with it, and condone it, you need to put your foot down.

Let him know, you are glad you found out, that sharing fantasies is fun, and should be a normal part of your relationship. However this fantasy is dangerous, and it's not a healthy one. If he can't let go of it, it might be classed as an obsessive fantasy. Tell him, you love him too much to have him risk his life or yours because of his fetish.

Ask him to go to counseling with you, and ask that he does not hide this from you. Let him know you are not angry, just alarmed and concerned.

He also needs to retrain his brain. This can be hard, but the more he focuses on this fantasy, or fetish, the more he will be turned on by it. if he cannot get off without thinking about suffocation, then he has a real problem.

His best chance as I said above is retraining his brain and neural pathways, which can be difficult, because it is tied to his pleasure receptors and orgasm. He needs to try and refocus to other things that arouse him (with you, that you both happily consent to), concentrate on those and stop thinking about suffocation.

You could both do this by talking about new (healthier) fantasies, that involve the two of you and focus on your relationship.

And again counseling.
 

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I have a feeling this is not something you are really into, but willing to try to keep your b/f, which that right there says a lot.

So, if you plan on doing this, make sure you and him both write notes to loved ones saying how much you love them, and this was just an "experiment, and no matter what happens you love them. After all, you never know what may or may not happen, and you are playing with death.
 

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^^
Wrong! Though I do like the idea of writing a note, the content is wrong! THe letter to loved ones should say "I died because he refused to stop when I called the safe word." Which in my opinion, would be murder. In the case of a mask like the ones I am guessing the poster found, the safety would be something like her holding a bell to ring or a clicker to click, or at the very least, a scarf to wave in front of him, or something to drop if her hands are tied up, you get the point. He needs to be in control 100% of the time, and alert to everything, there is NO excuses for not stopping.

I agree though, this is something that should be left to fantasy, not something he should bring to reality!
 
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