I've been doing some research on this, because since Sunday, I have suddenly had no desire for sex, or sexual contact. I'm wondering if anyone else has had this happen.
Some background into the happenings right before:
We had great sex last Friday, and I wanted more on Saturday while the kids were napping, but my wife didn't want to until later that night. The whole afternoon and evening she's grabbing me, making passes at me, etc. So that night with the kids finally in bed, she wants to listen to a particular song. Over and over. (This is how she unwinds.) I tried to engage with her, coming close to her, touching and massaging, but I got no reaction. I lay there a while, then I get up and pull her up and ask her to dance with me - we danced together for a bit, and when I went to kiss her I got what I call a "TV" kiss. The song ended, we get back in the bed, and she goes back to relaxing to the song. I ended up falling asleep - I woke up (i'm not sure how long I was sleeping) and the music was off and she was asleep. I must have been really knocked out because I don't remember her getting up to turn off the music.
The next morning (Sunday) we had a talk about what happened - it all boils down to miscommunication. She said she thought I was tired and wanted to go to sleep, I thought I was sending the right signals. After our talk, I pull her upstairs and we have great sex again.
That night, she wants to have sex again - and to my surprise, I wasn't in the mood. At all. I had zero interest in sex. It has been that way for the last four days now.
The typical reasons that I found are related to one of three things:
Stress - We do have some pain points in our marriage that I am trying to work on, but considering that I was interested that morning and nothing else changed during the day, I don't think this is a factor.
Loss of Attraction - Same reasoning as above. My wife is beautiful, and I have never not been attracted to her, even during or immediately following an argument.
Medication - I only take St John's Wort, but have been for months now and never had such an effect.
I wondered if I was just suddenly bored with our sex life (which I am, sort of), but when I thought about it, I wasn't interested in sex at all. Not fantasizing, not looking at porn, nothing. It is, at this moment, impossible for me to find anything or anyone sexually stimulating.
To be honest, it doesn't really bother me much. Since she very rarely initiates it may not be an issue for some time, but I'm worried that since I turned her down on Sunday she will try again soon and I won't be interested. She might think that something is amiss or make a big deal about it.
I recall a time where I would be after her every day and would get denied constantly for weeks on end. At one point I even began looking for ways to reduce my libido so it wouldn't be such a problem for me. I was hurt every time she said she was too tired, or wasn't in the mood, or whatever her reason was that day. When I would try to talk to her about it, she would tell me that I'm making a big deal about nothing, which kind of made it worse.
Part of me is thinking "good riddance, I hope you never return." But the other part of me knows what it's like to be constantly denied, and I think that now that she could be on the other end of things that it will suddenly be a much bigger deal than it was when the roles were reverse.
Has anyone ever experienced this? If so, what did you do, if anything?
Some background into the happenings right before:
We had great sex last Friday, and I wanted more on Saturday while the kids were napping, but my wife didn't want to until later that night. The whole afternoon and evening she's grabbing me, making passes at me, etc. So that night with the kids finally in bed, she wants to listen to a particular song. Over and over. (This is how she unwinds.) I tried to engage with her, coming close to her, touching and massaging, but I got no reaction. I lay there a while, then I get up and pull her up and ask her to dance with me - we danced together for a bit, and when I went to kiss her I got what I call a "TV" kiss. The song ended, we get back in the bed, and she goes back to relaxing to the song. I ended up falling asleep - I woke up (i'm not sure how long I was sleeping) and the music was off and she was asleep. I must have been really knocked out because I don't remember her getting up to turn off the music.
The next morning (Sunday) we had a talk about what happened - it all boils down to miscommunication. She said she thought I was tired and wanted to go to sleep, I thought I was sending the right signals. After our talk, I pull her upstairs and we have great sex again.
That night, she wants to have sex again - and to my surprise, I wasn't in the mood. At all. I had zero interest in sex. It has been that way for the last four days now.
The typical reasons that I found are related to one of three things:
Stress - We do have some pain points in our marriage that I am trying to work on, but considering that I was interested that morning and nothing else changed during the day, I don't think this is a factor.
Loss of Attraction - Same reasoning as above. My wife is beautiful, and I have never not been attracted to her, even during or immediately following an argument.
Medication - I only take St John's Wort, but have been for months now and never had such an effect.
I wondered if I was just suddenly bored with our sex life (which I am, sort of), but when I thought about it, I wasn't interested in sex at all. Not fantasizing, not looking at porn, nothing. It is, at this moment, impossible for me to find anything or anyone sexually stimulating.
To be honest, it doesn't really bother me much. Since she very rarely initiates it may not be an issue for some time, but I'm worried that since I turned her down on Sunday she will try again soon and I won't be interested. She might think that something is amiss or make a big deal about it.
I recall a time where I would be after her every day and would get denied constantly for weeks on end. At one point I even began looking for ways to reduce my libido so it wouldn't be such a problem for me. I was hurt every time she said she was too tired, or wasn't in the mood, or whatever her reason was that day. When I would try to talk to her about it, she would tell me that I'm making a big deal about nothing, which kind of made it worse.
Part of me is thinking "good riddance, I hope you never return." But the other part of me knows what it's like to be constantly denied, and I think that now that she could be on the other end of things that it will suddenly be a much bigger deal than it was when the roles were reverse.
Has anyone ever experienced this? If so, what did you do, if anything?