ok... im going to comment on my experiences as a man who has gone from full submissive to full dominant.
its scary as hell. at first. the truth is, i had absolutely no idea how to be dominant. when i started the journey, i had absolutely no idea how to do it. i still believe that if it were not for my experiences in the Army, i would still be struggling terribly with it. but, i changed. i didnt just change how i act, i changed the way i think. changing the way i think has changed the way i FEEL.
when my wife first introduced this idea to me, i had absolutely no idea how to implement it. it still gets to me from time to time, the feeling that i might fail, but i have developed an attitude of "so what. ill figure it out, NOT going to quit now."
i needed a LOT of examples to figure out what my wife wanted from me. i would ask her to show me something she found hot, an example of something she likes. she would show me a porn clip, i would make an assumption of what it was she wanted, and i was usually wrong at first. conversations were often like this:
me: "oh, so you want me to grab you aggressively and act kinda like an animal?"
her: "sort of, but not really. i want you to take control."
she would show me something else. convo contintues.
me: "so you want me to yell at you and smack you around a little?"
her: "no, i want you to take control."
eventually i figured it out. she wants me to tell her exactly what i want in bed, exactly how i want her to please me. correcting her in bed was not an affront to her performance, it was ASSERTING MY DOMINANCE!
yep, took me a while to figure out exactly what she wanted from me. it was hard on my ego sometimes, to feel like i suck at fulfilling my wife sexually. it took a lot of courage to step outside of my comfort zone. it took a lot of understanding and patience from her.
but i made it. i dont think i would ever want to go back. i know that i can. i know now that i can completely change my personality, even the things that turn me on. but i dont want to. im happier now and so is she. i love leading her.
so yea, your husband can change, but it will never happen unless he has an intense desire to fulfill your needs. he will need a lot of help figuring out how to make that transition. you are actually in the best position to help him with that. if it is important to you, dont give up.
the thing that got me to really want this was the way my wife talked about how incredibly HOT she found it. what she was describing to me was something leagues beyond and far more exciting than anything i had ever experienced.
i thought, if i can make that change, i can give that to her. why the hell would i NOT want that?