Im not sure if any of you can help and I hope your not going to be as "stupified" as I am when I unload but here goes. Im not going to go through every weird thing that has been going on in the last 10 years of this marriage but will try to tell you whats going on now that is so bad Id feel I have to unload on a bunch of strangers. Whats going on right now is my husband tells me that the reason he comes home and goes directly to bed and gives me one word answers to everything like " Hi, how was your day?" and " what happened today? anything new?" how ya feeling? Would you like a cup of tea and so forth...is because he feels he is not part of the "team" the team would be me, my 19 year old daughter and him. My daughter moved in with us last year and my husband was really jazzed because he tells me he wants to be a close family that does things together and eats together and so forth. What happened was he became angry when she asked me for a hug and talked to me about her life and not so much him. He would start to get really upset if he saw her and I interact at all after awhile. He became obsessed with her and even now you could come to the conclusion by what he says that he still is. We tried to eat at the table as a family but whenever she would try to ask him anything he would give her one word answers or start an argument. Everything she is not doing is now what he obsesses over and because she is not doing what he thinks she should be doing he will not talk to me or her. He tells me that he feels he should just shut his face and let her and I be as we will. Ok, so you probaly have gathered that she is not his child. I feel that he is not getting what he wants and so will not settle for anything she is willing to give. Now, about him and I which is what Im trying to save. I have become house bound. I work, I come home and have not done much of anything else..( big big problem that I have caused or let happen )Ive gained at least 100 pounds since we met, and my husband and I havent slept together in about id say 7 full years. Now he tells me that non of that matters...( thats a crock ) or should I say what other conclusion should I come up with? He use to do werid stuff to me when we first were marriade. We would get into arguments and he would just walk off into the sun set. I would go searching for him, crying and calling his name out but would never find him. My mother told me she saw him walk up to a hill and just watch me search, until one day she got into her car, picked me up and drove me to where he was to show me he appeard to enjoy this exchange. ( at first we lived on my parents ranch for about 6 months before we got our own place ) Ok, so now...He has found a club which he enjoys to attend. My daughter is an animation artist and my husband got into this for her to find friends when she first got here. She went once or twice but lost interest. However he has continued to go. Which was fine up until he once stayed out until 6 am and during a convention he stayed overnight inspite of me calling him and asking him to come home because I was feeling insecure. Then one day here in my own house, a letter arrived for him addressed to his screen name from a girl. And to make a long story short, I discovered he has a post office box now and when I asked him about this, he told me he thinks Im withholding his mail from him...WTF!! Im like no... Never have and never will. He also took all of our money out of the bank and put it in another bank account that I cant touch. I must put my earnings into our joint account so he can put it where he wants and he is paying all of our bills. He gives me 20 dollars a week for food. Okie Dokie says me.. who cares as long as he pays the bills. Anyways we have this great big blow out over everything and I decide ok, I have to look at me and see what the hell Im doing wrong. I now offer to go everywhere with him, I walk away from my child and try my darndest to talk to him about anything.. but he will not come out of the bedroom unless we are asleep. Im at a loss. I don't know what to do except lose weight as fast as I can and keep trying to do the things he wants me to do. I thought I was doing all of those things but after last night I am not being good enough cause he stayed in his room and he is still in there right now. What do you guys think?