He has many hobbies and activities (not even including banging a ho) and comes and goes as he pleases, as has been the case for several years. He has subtly hinted that he would change if I were to agree to reconcile. I already fell for that sh!t once.Weak moments will come. You grit your teeth and get through them, being civil because little eyes are watching. Acknowledge that each moment is a tough one, but accept that like the previous ones, it will pass, and you will be one more weak moment closer to your goal. It's hard work, so naturally the psyche wants to avoid it, and presents insidious thoughts about giving up. Being aware that this happens is the biggest part of overcoming those moments.
So you have a separation agreement, which divides your time up with the children? What happens if you try to get him to operate on that schedule even though you are presently in the same house? During 'his' time with them, make yourself scarce. Hide in your room or go out and do things that take your mind off the situation.
Meanwhile, treat him like a roommate you don't like, and interact as little as possible. There is no point having discussions about anything. If you have to talk about kid logistics, do it over email.
Live-in separation absolutely sucks. But you know the end, and will get through it day by day. As the saying goes, if you're going through Hell, keep going.
I was advised by my lawyer that this works to my benefit as long as I document everything (which I do) in case he tries to get half custody. Which he has threatened me with once in anger, but doesn’t actually want. I have been essentially a single parent for years, with a husband who pays the bills and the kids see for a couple hours at most, on a good day. I lived in denial for a long time about this, excusing it as a midlife crisis. That parts on me. And I feel terrible for allowing him to treat my kids as though they don’t matter. That they aren’t a priority. Can I forgive myself for that? I hope so.
Anyway, learning a lot about myself and who he is. For the first time I’m actually starting to accept and understand that this is what was meant to happen, I just wish the timing with the housing market would’ve been different. But who knows, maybe this impossible situation serves a deeper purpose too.