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Hi @QuietRiot, I stumbled across this thread last night and began reading through it. I read your posts and replies. I really believe you're on the right track, here. Your WH is not R material, based on what you've shared, so the path you've chosen is a GOOD (no, EXCELLENT) one, even though it feels scary as hell. A cozy house with a financially secure, healthy, happy mom is so much better than a mansion of instability with a father that won't commit to his family.

Based on my posts and interactions with you, I think you are wicked smart. You've come so far from the beginning of this thread. Taking a few steps back emotionally is so normal, that if you didn't, I'd be concerned that you weren't really processing. I think you're doing so much better than you think you are.

Take a break or come back and vent...either way, I see a good future for you. ❤
 

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Discussion Starter · #202 ·
Update, for anyone. Or nobody. Whatev. Things are coming along nicely, waiting for a few key pieces of furniture and then it’s a done deal. Going slow and steady and it’s a lot easier on the kids.

FYI I consulted a family counselor about the “when you tell” at the beginning of the ordeal, and 2 to 3 weeks is the sweet spot for younger children, and I can see why. They went from terror, to confusion, to sadness, to anticipation and now they are just ready to move. So it’s all played out pretty well. They’ve been helping work on things, pick out their furniture and plan and decorate so it’s made things a lot less scary for them, and dare I say… normal. They still have a lot of emotions and questions but it was the perfect amount of time to make the transition and I’m glad I have had it honestly, there is a lot of these scenarios that go much worse than mine.

My house is slowly becoming my own, and I can feel the peace within those walls. It’s hard to explain. There is sadness in spades, and anger still of course, but there is peace there. I will be there full time within a week… emotionally I’m 100 times better than the last post. It’s all a gigantic roller coaster through sewage as many of you know.

After that I’ll start reading, catching up and posting on (haunting) all my favorite people and threads again. I miss your beautiful faces. And I miss arguing with some of your beautiful faces. See you soon friends.
 

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It’s been years now since I moved out of my “forever home” a couple of months after the divorce but I remember well the sound of the key turning in the lock as I walked away for the last time. My exH was already remarried at that point and the house was about to go on the market. I refused to look back because I knew I would likely break down and alarm my dog. It took a little time but things got better and better and better with each step along the way. Now I can look at old photos and remember the good times and smile. Remember: It’s a process. And you’re doing great.
 

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I completely relate to that peace within those walls. It’s a feeling that’s hard to describe to others. I’m so glad to hear that your kids are so far handling things well, and that things are on a good track for you.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

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I completely relate to that peace within those walls. It’s a feeling that’s hard to describe to others. I’m so glad to hear that your kids are so far handling things well, and that things are on a good track for you.


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I totally agree 3X. The peace is priceless. I couldn’t imagine it until I finally had it and then I wondered how I had survived without it for so long.
 

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Update, for anyone. Or nobody. Whatev. Things are coming along nicely, waiting for a few key pieces of furniture and then it’s a done deal. Going slow and steady and it’s a lot easier on the kids.
Glad to hear things are going well. Hurry back!
 

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Update, for anyone. Or nobody. Whatev. Things are coming along nicely, waiting for a few key pieces of furniture and then it’s a done deal. Going slow and steady and it’s a lot easier on the kids.

FYI I consulted a family counselor about the “when you tell” at the beginning of the ordeal, and 2 to 3 weeks is the sweet spot for younger children, and I can see why. They went from terror, to confusion, to sadness, to anticipation and now they are just ready to move. So it’s all played out pretty well. They’ve been helping work on things, pick out their furniture and plan and decorate so it’s made things a lot less scary for them, and dare I say… normal. They still have a lot of emotions and questions but it was the perfect amount of time to make the transition and I’m glad I have had it honestly, there is a lot of these scenarios that go much worse than mine.

My house is slowly becoming my own, and I can feel the peace within those walls. It’s hard to explain. There is sadness in spades, and anger still of course, but there is peace there. I will be there full time within a week… emotionally I’m 100 times better than the last post. It’s all a gigantic roller coaster through sewage as many of you know.

After that I’ll start reading, catching up and posting on (haunting) all my favorite people and threads again. I miss your beautiful faces. And I miss arguing with some of your beautiful faces. See you soon friends.
This makes me happy.
 

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Discussion Starter · #209 ·
Well then. Here I am. I can’t say it’s enjoyable at this time but I guess that’s to be expected when there is crap everywhere and barely enough time to sort it. But I am not only breathing, I’m eating pretty normally, sleeping pretty well, and besides the crying and inability to watch anything remotely romantic on TV while folding clothes… I am doing okay at this survival thing. Any suggestions on shows/movies that have no “happy couple” storylines would be great if anyone has them. *Bonus points for gratuitous violence and burly men. 🙂 (I have barely watched any TV in years so this is new, people have been trying to get me to watch Modern Family for like… 6 years? I think I’ll pass on that one for a bit.)

Ran into an old friend the other day. We got to talking, and it turns out he worked at the same company and knew my H’s AP up until last year when he changed jobs. Oh what a small and stupid stupid world I live in. It’s like the 7 degrees to Kevin Bacon that the radio station used to do here, where they’d give you $ if they couldn’t find 7 people or less that linked you to him. But I’m 2 degrees to this AP in every direction. 🙄 I’d rather be 2 degrees to Mr. Bacon. Anyway, he has a low opinion of her, not like I needed confirmation on what I already knew but hey, it helps a bit to know you’re right!

There is the word fiancé, for that area before marriage and past dating. I need a word for the spot after marriage and before D. Where I may linger for a while. Sh!tté? D!ckhé. Douché. I’ll have to think of something. And no, D is something that isn’t possible for a while for quite a few legal reasons at this time. So STBX is not quite accurate either.
 

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Well then. Here I am. I can’t say it’s enjoyable at this time but I guess that’s to be expected when there is crap everywhere and barely enough time to sort it. But I am not only breathing, I’m eating pretty normally, sleeping pretty well, and besides the crying and inability to watch anything remotely romantic on TV while folding clothes… I am doing okay at this survival thing. Any suggestions on shows/movies that have no “happy couple” storylines would be great if anyone has them. *Bonus points for gratuitous violence and burly men. 🙂 (I have barely watched any TV in years so this is new, people have been trying to get me to watch Modern Family for like… 6 years? I think I’ll pass on that one for a bit.)

Ran into an old friend the other day. We got to talking, and it turns out he worked at the same company and knew my H’s AP up until last year when he changed jobs. Oh what a small and stupid stupid world I live in. It’s like the 7 degrees to Kevin Bacon that the radio station used to do here, where they’d give you $ if they couldn’t find 7 people or less that linked you to him. But I’m 2 degrees to this AP in every direction. 🙄 I’d rather be 2 degrees to Mr. Bacon. Anyway, he has a low opinion of her, not like I needed confirmation on what I already knew but hey, it helps a bit to know you’re right!

There is the word fiancé, for that area before marriage and past dating. I need a word for the spot after marriage and before D. Where I may linger for a while. Sh!tté? D!ckhé. Douché. I’ll have to think of something. And no, D is something that isn’t possible for a while for quite a few legal reasons at this time. So STBX is not quite accurate either.
I experimented with my own version of immersion therapy. I watched all 5 seasons of The Affair and got through it. It was not pleasant, I broke down sometimes, but I wanted to feel all the ****ty feelings, process them and move on with my life. Serial killer show binges were my next obsession.

Sappy romances are actually harder to sit through, I scoff at dudes with big eyes and earnest looks as they swear undying love. (👉 Jack the jackals on Virgin River).

The more polite terms for my dingleberry were Asshat, Buttmunch, ****head.

You're doing well, chick. Hang in there!
 

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I experimented with my own version of immersion therapy. I watched all 5 seasons of The Affair and got through it. It was not pleasant, I broke down sometimes, but I wanted to feel all the ****ty feelings, process them and move on with my life.
If that’s your approach, I’d also suggest the first season of “The Bridge” on Hulu.
 

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Discussion Starter · #213 ·
Well… I’d be willing to try this interesting process, if there is some kind of sweet justice? Can’t have the bad guys living HEA. That’s unacceptable. Just a little maiming???
 

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Keep on, keeping on, QR. I got faith in you. :)

I'm a sci-fi nerd and that's the direction my shows tend to lean. You could watch "The Expanse" or "Altered Carbon" (sweet revenge story lines in Altered Carbon). Both great shows with a decent helping of violence and neither of them have gratuitous love stories.

If you want some serious maiming, might I suggest "The Boys" on Amazon? I find that show to be hilarious as it is almost a parody of the ever popular super hero movie these days. It shows what would happen if super heros actually existed with these over the top super powers. Lots of maiming and bodies exploding. :cool:
 

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Discussion Starter · #215 ·
Keep on, keeping on, QR. I got faith in you. :)

I'm a sci-fi nerd and that's the direction my shows tend to lean. You could watch "The Expanse" or "Altered Carbon" (sweet revenge story lines in Altered Carbon). Both great shows with a decent helping of violence and neither of them have gratuitous love stories.

If you want some serious maiming, might I suggest "The Boys" on Amazon? I find that show to be hilarious as it is almost a parody of the ever popular super hero movie these days. It shows what would happen if super heros actually existed with these over the top super powers. Lots of maiming and bodies exploding. :cool:
Yes!!! I’m starting a list right now, thank you.
 

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If that’s your approach, I’d also suggest the first season of “The Bridge” on Hulu.
I'll check it out, thanks for the rec!
Well… I’d be willing to try this interesting process, if there is some kind of sweet justice? Can’t have the bad guys living HEA. That’s unacceptable. Just a little maiming???
It sucked at first, but I don't break down anymore watching stuff like that anymore. Definitely do it alone, it was brutal.
Keep on, keeping on, QR. I got faith in you. :)

I'm a sci-fi nerd and that's the direction my shows tend to lean. You could watch "The Expanse" or "Altered Carbon" (sweet revenge story lines in Altered Carbon). Both great shows with a decent helping of violence and neither of them have gratuitous love stories.

If you want some serious maiming, might I suggest "The Boys" on Amazon? I find that show to be hilarious as it is almost a parody of the ever popular super hero movie these days. It shows what would happen if super heros actually existed with these over the top super powers. Lots of maiming and bodies exploding. :cool:
I second Altered Carbon, I loved that show!
 

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You can call the period 'limbo' or 'purgatory' - I opt for purgatory.

As far as movies, go for the action such as the Die Hard franchise or something stupid like The Walking Dead or Fear the Walking Dead. Dark comedy like TBS' Miracle Workers with Daniel Radcliffe and Steve Buscemi is funny.
 

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I call my ex ****ty (rhymes with bitty) toupee guy.

Perhaps you could utilize one of his more "endearing" (yes that was sarcastic) qualities that way?
I think you should do your former loving, step-daughter :LOL: a favor and tell her to break down and buy her papa a decent rug.
 

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I think you should do your former loving, step-daughter :LOL: a favor and tell her to break down and buy her papa a decent rug.
She's a sahm who is knocking out kids like a nice evangelical, so she doesn't have pharmacist funds like she used to.

Maybe a go fund me is in order? He's well known (as is his toupee) in the running community here...I bet the goal would hit within an hour 😀

Sorry for the thread jack OP....the moral of the story is find a funny name that makes you chuckle. One of my friends had a picture of a **** head come up when her ex called or texted.
 
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