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Discussion Starter · #181 ·
QR......... Saw you post on several threads and I checked out yours. What a tick turd he is. How are things going for you?
🤣 tick turd!

Waiting for the new house to be finished STILL. Lots of shortages on supplies now and more manpower delays. It’s been a year of years.

I can’t actually complain too much beside the obvious, we are living amicably in separate bedrooms. No drama or anything. I count the blessings I have and try to live in the moment, when I start thinking about the future and all the unknowns I get really stressed out and afraid... so I try not to do that as much as possible. Just in a holding pattern really...

Posting here helps me a lot, reading other people who share the same ****ty experience... just knowing there is a community of people here has really helped my sanity.

Thanks for checking in that means a lot!
 

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I will never forget the few weeks myself and WC had to live under the same roof. She knew I was getting the house in the D,

so it was no shock she was going to stay until it was final. Thank goodness the D wait was only 60 days. I wanted to fight for the M.

She acted like she didn't care. So I left the home and went to one of my rental properties to stay until she left.

It took only a few weeks to realize I did not wish to go back. The moment I started pulling away, she started reaching.

Funny how things work out....
 
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Discussion Starter · #183 ·
I will never forget the few weeks myself and WC had to live under the same roof. She knew I was getting the house in the D,

so it was no shock she was going to stay until it was final. Thank goodness the D wait was only 60 days. I wanted to fight for the M.

She acted like she didn't care. So I left the home and went to one of my rental properties to stay until she left.

It took only a few weeks to realize I did not wish to go back. The moment I started pulling away, she started reaching.

Funny how things work out....
It always seems to work that way huh? Throw away the marriage and family but then when they finally get what they want... they don’t want it anymore. 🙄
 

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It always seems to work that way huh? Throw away the marriage and family but then when they finally get what they want... they don’t want it anymore. 🙄
I've always told BS to "give defiant people EXACTLY what they want"

Because 99% of the time, they end up not wanting...what they got.

WC made more reaches (for me) than a Roman bathhouse on dime beer night. Until I blocked her.

Then she tried contacting my now W. She wanted freedom, I gave that to her. Go bye bye!
 

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I take it you already have Yoda's "You must now un-learn what you have learned"
 
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Do you like any of the first six Star Wars? Any of the Matrix? V for Vendetta?
 

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Discussion Starter · #192 ·
The house, I amend… My house is closing soon. Very soon. Emotions are terrible at this time… it feels just as bad as the first few months when I found out. I still just can’t accept that THIS is my goddamned life. I feel angry as hell, and yet there’s nobody around to validate that anger and hurt to the extent that I need. It’s probably not even possible to feel validated ENOUGH for my liking. I guess I thought I’d be happy right now. I’m not. I feel a lot of anger and fear and of course my old friend sadness never leaves. Can always count on her. She’s not as cute as the cartoon one.

I’ve been living in hell for a year, and it seems that hell just keeps stretching out before me as I contemplate the ruin of everything I worked so hard for and trusted in for so long. The construct of my entire life, laying in pieces.

I have to tell my kids tomorrow. I have to tell my kids their family is over, and we are moving to a tiny house with a tiny yard and they won’t be living next to their friends anymore. While their dad stays here in our huge family dream house. Alone. (Until he quickly finds my replacement and moves her in here that is, then I’ll get to have that conversation.) So good times, they’ll get to come see their broken, depressed, angry father every other weekend in their own effing house, that will no longer be their home. It just makes me sick. Really. I would rather break my own legs than tell them, but it has to be done.

I’ve been placed in an impossible situation where I have to be the mature and reasonable person even though I got **** on. Where I have to be the bad guy making all the decisions to “leave him” and “break up the family” but really… I didn’t make ANY of those decisions. I just get to carry the weight of following through on what he decided for all of us. But it’s only me who carries that burden, because I can’t be ok with my H putting his **** and heart where they don’t belong. None of it is ****ing fair to me or my kids. I would have walked on water to make this marriage work, I would have done anything for him. But he chose to throw me away. It makes me feel completely worthless. Which is ridiculous. I’m worth a hell of a lot more than he and his AP combined. That’s a fact. For one I don’t **** other people’s spouses, and for two, I actually take care of my kids with my whole heart and all my time instead of ****ing other people’s spouses. That alone makes me the better person by my calculations.

Unfortunately, as you can probably tell… I feel completely the opposite of any progress I’ve made in the last 10 months. I wish he would just go back to the guy I married. I wish he would be a man and own his **** and fix his broken pieces, instead of a little b!tch that hides and covers his emotions with everything he possibly can use to do so. And I’m so ridiculously used to taking care of him, I’m concerned about his hurt. HIS HURT! The guy that treated me like worthless garbage is now hurting because his catastrophic ****up destroyed our entire family… and I feel bad for poor schmoopie!?!?! How very very sad he chose to screw someone else I mean it was just so terrible for him right? I’m sure he really didn’t like all those orgasms and the fawning she did over his perfect everything that was COMPLETELY FAKE.

I don’t know how to disengage myself from caring about what he does, with whom and where. I am hoping that the distance will take care of that problem for me, but dropping my kids off at the house we bought together as our forever home is probably going to hurt like a ************. Not going to lie.
Why am I so fixated on things? They mean too much to me. They are triggers, they are symbolic, they are everywhere. I need to work on that.

Anyways. It’s going to be a really screwed up couple of weeks. I have some bookmarked reading for threads that I’m still going to work through if I can, but I’m going to take a time out, maybe a sabbatical is a better word. I just want to get my head right… it’s so so not right. I’m thinking horrible things like “why the **** isn’t he fighting for me???” Let’s be honest, if he did fight tooth and nail to make it right, I’d still be moving out. So why do I care? Why am I even toiling over a persons thought process looking for bright and shiny clues when he is COMPLETELY jacked in the head anyway? It’s like looking for a light bulb in a pile of elephant ****, why would I do it? So the point is, it never gets easier. It just gets more complex. If I would have been able to move out the first month, or two, or three… I’d just have the ****ty emotions. Now I have to untangle the trauma of trying to push through almost a year of living in constant anxiety and internal turmoil.

Anyways. I’ll see you all…my friends and frenemies in a few weeks, hopefully from a much better mental place. From my new house. Thanks for reading my Great Wall of word vomit.
 

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Why have your children been kept in the dark about this? They could have had time to adjust to the changes coming up. Tell them ASAP and do NOT lie about why this is happening. You don’t have to attack your STBX to them but all kids deserve the truth about what is going on.

I understand your anger, it is well placed. I really feel that being in your own place is going to be cathartic for you. I’m so sorry you are here. For what it’s worth I think your posts have been very helpful to others, so thank you for sharing. I’m rooting for you!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 

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I continued living with my cheating ex for several months, while we worked out financial details, after I told him I was divorcing him. It was difficult in the beginning but he soon found a new girlfriend so I really didn’t see him that much. The day he finally moved out was the beginning of my new life. I’ve never looked back.
Is he still with the new girlfriend? I am very recently separated from my serial cheating husband who found a new girlfriend only a few weeks after we separated. And I am just so mad and hoping that there is some divine intervention. I know that I should not be holding onto this feeling but I cant help it. Everything is still so fresh. It seems that he is just out and about enjoying his life while I am mourning, processing everything and raising our son.
 

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Is he still with the new girlfriend? I am very recently separated from my serial cheating husband who found a new girlfriend only a few weeks after we separated. And I am just so mad and hoping that there is some divine intervention. I know that I should not be holding onto this feeling but I cant help it. Everything is still so fresh. It seems that he is just out and about enjoying his life while I am mourning, processing everything and raising our son.
He married her as soon as the divorce was final. Couldn’t be alone for five minutes apparently.
 

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The house, I amend… My house is closing soon. Very soon. Emotions are terrible at this time… it feels just as bad as the first few months when I found out. I still just can’t accept that THIS is my goddamned life. I feel angry as hell, and yet there’s nobody around to validate that anger and hurt to the extent that I need. It’s probably not even possible to feel validated ENOUGH for my liking. I guess I thought I’d be happy right now. I’m not. I feel a lot of anger and fear and of course my old friend sadness never leaves. Can always count on her. She’s not as cute as the cartoon one.

I’ve been living in hell for a year, and it seems that hell just keeps stretching out before me as I contemplate the ruin of everything I worked so hard for and trusted in for so long. The construct of my entire life, laying in pieces.

I have to tell my kids tomorrow. I have to tell my kids their family is over, and we are moving to a tiny house with a tiny yard and they won’t be living next to their friends anymore. While their dad stays here in our huge family dream house. Alone. (Until he quickly finds my replacement and moves her in here that is, then I’ll get to have that conversation.) So good times, they’ll get to come see their broken, depressed, angry father every other weekend in their own effing house, that will no longer be their home. It just makes me sick. Really. I would rather break my own legs than tell them, but it has to be done.

I’ve been placed in an impossible situation where I have to be the mature and reasonable person even though I got ** on. Where I have to be the bad guy making all the decisions to “leave him” and “break up the family” but really… I didn’t make ANY of those decisions. I just get to carry the weight of following through on what he decided for all of us. But it’s only me who carries that burden, because I can’t be ok with my H putting his ** and heart where they don’t belong. None of it is *ing fair to me or my kids. I would have walked on water to make this marriage work, I would have done anything for him. But he chose to throw me away. It makes me feel completely worthless. Which is ridiculous. I’m worth a hell of a lot more than he and his AP combined. That’s a fact. For one I don’t * other people’s spouses, and for two, I actually take care of my kids with my whole heart and all my time instead of ****ing other people’s spouses. That alone makes me the better person by my calculations.

Unfortunately, as you can probably tell… I feel completely the opposite of any progress I’ve made in the last 10 months. I wish he would just go back to the guy I married. I wish he would be a man and own his **** and fix his broken pieces, instead of a little b!tch that hides and covers his emotions with everything he possibly can use to do so. And I’m so ridiculously used to taking care of him, I’m concerned about his hurt. HIS HURT! The guy that treated me like worthless garbage is now hurting because his catastrophic ****up destroyed our entire family… and I feel bad for poor schmoopie!?!?! How very very sad he chose to screw someone else I mean it was just so terrible for him right? I’m sure he really didn’t like all those orgasms and the fawning she did over his perfect everything that was COMPLETELY FAKE.

I don’t know how to disengage myself from caring about what he does, with whom and where. I am hoping that the distance will take care of that problem for me, but dropping my kids off at the house we bought together as our forever home is probably going to hurt like a ****. Not going to lie.
Why am I so fixated on things? They mean too much to me. They are triggers, they are symbolic, they are everywhere. I need to work on that.

Anyways. It’s going to be a really screwed up couple of weeks. I have some bookmarked reading for threads that I’m still going to work through if I can, but I’m going to take a time out, maybe a sabbatical is a better word. I just want to get my head right… it’s so so not right. I’m thinking horrible things like “why the ** isn’t he fighting for me???” Let’s be honest, if he did fight tooth and nail to make it right, I’d still be moving out. So why do I care? Why am I even toiling over a persons thought process looking for bright and shiny clues when he is COMPLETELY jacked in the head anyway? It’s like looking for a light bulb in a pile of elephant **, why would I do it? So the point is, it never gets easier. It just gets more complex. If I would have been able to move out the first month, or two, or three… I’d just have the ****ty emotions. Now I have to untangle the trauma of trying to push through almost a year of living in constant anxiety and internal turmoil.

Anyways. I’ll see you all…my friends and frenemies in a few weeks, hopefully from a much better mental place. From my new house. Thanks for reading my Great Wall of word vomit.
Change is scary, it's perfectly natural to be angry in the face of some major ones! Even though, as you said you were dealing while you waited, were you, really? I felt like I was in limbo while I waited for resolution before it was time to move.

Your tiny spark of hope that the man you love would come back is now utterly disproved, that is hard to face, you'll adjust to the finality. When it came to it, I was angry, sad and then numb. Even though I knew leaving was the best thing, it still hurt to actually do it and has taken some time to get my bearings.

Like other posters mentioned, please the kids ASAP, they need to know and adjust without it being suddenly sprung on them, at least the older one (you have really young ones, right?). Keep your mind busy, body nourished and feel what you feel until you get a handle on things.

I threw myself into everything I had to do and eventually it became bearable and I accepted my new path. The injustice of it all still freaking sucks, but it is what it is. Take care of yourself and the kiddos, hon. We'll be here awaiting you when you're up to it.
 
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