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Discussion Starter #1
Greetings to all. English is not my language but I will try to convey my issues.

Married with 4 kids. I am regretting why I pushed to four kids yet these children bring me so much joy.

I feel trapped in my marriage but I also feel how will I manage financially to feed four mouths.

My husband his providing financial support and that it. I see to it that the kids are supported emotionally , spiritually and raise them alone.

I am raising the family alone , I see no point of marriage. It would be easier to do it solo because I will not get criticised. I am also working full-time.

I am a tired mother. Tired wife. No intimacy. No appreciation. Just a mechanical relationship of two existing adults. I am a Catholic girl , I am riddled with fear when I think of leaving my marriage.

I never heard my husband saying he loves me , he never responds to my SMS because he says his busy. It's a long distance relationship and he calls after 3 days.

I tried to be a good wife and mom , I feel this is the end of the road. I am intending to officially inform our Bishop, parents and siblings about my decision.

I am scared. I can't sleep. I can't breath. I feel I have destroyed my children's life. Their lives will not be the same. We might have to return to my parents house which is in the village and downgrade our life. I am working but it won't be enough to afford city life.

I don't feel and see my husband life. I doubt it and I am living in fear. His a good Catholic man and that's it. My father won't approve because my husband support him with his medical bills.
 

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Greetings and welcome, you are definitely in a predicament there is a lot to weigh here, might I ask you the ages of the children and how long you have been married? Also could you share when started to see this marriage fall apart?
 

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I am catholic and know the "drill" well. I don't know how firm you are in the faith but IMO, he is not being a "good catholic" as you put it. I have found some of the worst people in the Catholic faith because they believe they are "holy" just because they attend mass every Sunday like a good child.

I walked away from the church in part because of the people within it.

However, there ARE some truly inspirational people there, and if you are a very faithful person, please reach out and and a women of faith there. You need someone local to talk to and the church is a good place to start.
 

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Greetings and welcome, you are definitely in a predicament there is a lot to weigh here, might I ask you the ages of the children and how long you have been married? Also could you share when started to see this marriage fall apart?
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Husband 43 and I am 40 kids 12.10.8.6

Married 13 years. Dated 8 months. Too quick to marry , honestly i ignored the signs. Too much infanctuation , something like that.

From child no 2 that's when things started failing apart. Always the one making peace. Never even once heard him say sorry. Never once helped with the kids when they were young. I reckon, this i
Allowed to happen from long time ago and the only way to fix is simply to let go, set in old habits.

May God forgive me , surely God hates divorce but loves me . I made an error of judgement by marrying him. I never asked important questions, I just wanted to get married. Now, I am paying dearly.
 

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I am catholic and know the "drill" well. I don't know how firm you are in the faith but IMO, he is not being a "good catholic" as you put it. I have found some of the worst people in the Catholic faith because they believe they are "holy" just because they attend mass every Sunday like a good child.

I walked away from the church in part because of the people within it.

However, there ARE some truly inspirational people there, and if you are a very faithful person, please reach out and and a women of faith there. You need someone local to talk to and the church is a good place to start.
Thank you. I reached out. Went for marriage counseling. Everything is a joke to him. Laughs at the priest. Will change for 2 days. Go back to old ways.
 

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The giant tree has fallen. I liken myself to a giant tree. The strength is gone. I can't go on. My kids will have to forgive me. I hope one day they would understand when they are old. I really tried from day one , did everything for peace sake. I realize it's my fault, I carried the marriage alone , defended him and made him lord over my life.
 

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It certainly is NOT your fault! Nor do you have to worry at ALL about the church or God looking down on you. You are doing what needs done and the kids will pull right through it.

I just would not get all wound an concerned about the church here. if you have a priest that won't get it done quickly, go to another. If not, just get it done legally so you can get closure asap.

I think around here, priest at least do one divorce per wedding. It is the Catholic way! Married for now....
 

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I am scared. I can't sleep. I can't breath. I feel I have destroyed my children's life. Their lives will not be the same. We might have to return to my parents house which is in the village and downgrade our life. I am working but it won't be enough to afford city life.

I don't feel and see my husband life. I doubt it and I am living in fear. His a good Catholic man and that's it. My father won't approve because my husband support him with his medical bills.
You have NOT and WILL NOT destroy your children's lives. Let's face it, you have said yourself that he is long distance, provides NO guidance or emotional stability to the kids, etc.. Honestly, it sounds like they would be MUCH better off without hearing him criticize their mother all the time.

Get to a lawyer, get a plan together, understand your finances and what it will look like if you divorce. PLANS and KNOWLEDGE of what the various paths here can help you combat the fear.
Figure out what is best for YOU and your kids. He will have to figure out his own life.

VERY sorry you are going through this.
 

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@JaneF Your husband is not a good Catholic man. No matter what image he tries to project.

Does he take his responsibilities as a Christian, a husband and a father seriously? I think the answer might be "no" to those questions.
 

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You are saying that he supports family financially and you take care of the kids and their needs. Then you say that you work too.... Very unbalanced marriage. You do everything and more, and he just goes to work....No wonder you are burnt out.
 
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