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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
wife is 32, Im 33, been married for 9 year have two kids aged 3 and 6. High school sweet hearts, never broke up never fought and no cheating. I have a degree and she never went to college, has worked as a clerk and or at a bank for about 5 years. So Single income and although we are not poor we definitely don't have the extra money to do a-lot.

Recently she has been spending more time with her sister and just seams distant, she was on antidepressants for the last few years and has just recently got off them. She had difficulty climaxing and was never interested in sex while on them and i could tell my advances frustrated her. two small kids and staying home all day has to be stressful and tiring but sometimes as soon as i get home she want to leave and we have none to watch kids so im the one that stays with the kids.

Would the antidepressants throw her in a funk and should i be worried?
When i ask her if we are good she always says yes. Are you happy? Yes
 

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Did she go off the meds cold turkey? That could cause issues. Being unmarried treated for depression could also cause behavior changes.

Have you asked her why the change in behavior?

Do you know for sure that she is with her sister (not just her word)? What do they do together? Being a SAHM is hard and she does need to get out as well. How often is "sometimes" in "sometimes as soon as i get home she want to leave"?

Can her sister babysit so you can go out on a date? They don't have to be expensive. A walk in the park, picnic, museum, local sites to see, walk around a festival, etc.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Did she go off the meds cold turkey? That could cause issues. Being unmarried treated for depression could also cause behavior changes.

Have you asked her why the change in behavior?

Do you know for sure that she is with her sister (not just her word)? What do they do together? Being a SAHM is hard and she does need to get out as well. How often is "sometimes" in "sometimes as soon as i get home she want to leave"?



Can her sister babysit so you can go out on a date? They don't have to be expensive. A walk in the park, picnic, museum, local sites to see, walk around a festival, etc.
1.She went off cold turkey which i protested too, she stated them after her first child we were already married.

2.Yes, she only says she needs some alone time and the kids make her crazy

3.once a week maybe twice sometimes

4. we did, first time one of the kids got hurt, wife never asked her again
 

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This sounds like her depression is becoming more elevated. You haven't stated if she's been secretive with media, hiding screens, texting a lot on the phone and then these "missing hours" (I am assuming she actually is at her sister's).

There hasn't been a sudden shift in behavior. She's not dressing differently? Fixated on her looks. Fixated on her weight? It's been more a generally increasing estrangement. This all sounds like advancing depression. Other things seem to be missing here.
 

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We can only guess here obviously. One possibility is that being a SAHM (or even just a parent) isn't what she thought it would be. I've seen women return to their corporate job not because they need the money or want to climb the ladder, but because they couldn't take being at home with the kids all day anymore.
 

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I would make doubly sure she’s actually with her sister but her wanting to hang out so much with her 18 year old sister seems odd.

I know many will stress the depression angle but consistently we get threads like yours that end up being about an OM. Has she been upping her appearance? Has she been on the phone a lot? When you mention being distant, is she now no longer willing to have sex or even hug or kiss? Has she also changed with the kids? Wanting to get away from your own 3 year old? I wish so bad to able to relive those days with our kids.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
This sounds like her depression is becoming more elevated. You haven't stated if she's been secretive with media, hiding screens, texting a lot on the phone and then these "missing hours" (I am assuming she actually is at her sister's).

There hasn't been a sudden shift in behavior. She's not dressing differently? Fixated on her looks. Fixated on her weight? It's been more a generally increasing estrangement. This all sounds like advancing depression. Other things seem to be missing here.
YES I think there are some red flags, let me know what you think

Dyed her hair a different color
dressing up a little more than normal
After years of saying no - she now has a facebook
she just recently got a couple new tattoos and now wants a "sleeve"
she has always listened to music but now i notice her listening to it louder and more ofter, car is always blaring loud, never was like that ever
 

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YES I think there are some red flags, let me know what you think

Dyed her hair a different color
dressing up a little more than normal
After years of saying no - she now has a facebook
she just recently got a couple new tattoos and now wants a "sleeve"
she has always listened to music but now i notice her listening to it louder and more ofter, car is always blaring loud, never was like that ever
We probably seem like a paranoid bunch on here but it doesn't take long to see a ton of similar stories unfortunately.

The sudden switch on facebook is of interest. You said you went to college, but not her. Did you actually go away for college or stayed local?
 

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wife is 32, Im 33, been married for 9 year have two kids aged 3 and 6. High school sweet hearts, never broke up never fought and no cheating. I have a degree and she never went to college, has worked as a clerk and or at a bank for about 5 years. So Single income and although we are not poor we definitely don't have the extra money to do a-lot.

Recently she has been spending more time with her sister and just seams distant, she was on antidepressants for the last few years and has just recently got off them. She had difficulty climaxing and was never interested in sex while on them and i could tell my advances frustrated her. two small kids and staying home all day has to be stressful and tiring but sometimes as soon as i get home she want to leave and we have none to watch kids so im the one that stays with the kids.

Would the antidepressants throw her in a funk and should i be worried?
When i ask her if we are good she always says yes. Are you happy? Yes
She needs a break from the kids. And you are the other parent, so you are who gets to give her a break. She probably feels kind of trapped since she's been married and had kids so young and has no money of her own or no other life besides watching the kids.

Once the kids are school age, no I suggest you talk to each other and let her go back to work so it improves the money situation and the boredom situation and she has some adults to talk to.

Being depressed this what can make you not want to do anything or feel like having sex. Antidepressants should help once you find the right ones for you because everyone is different, but there's no way of knowing if sexual desire for you will come back if all that gets straightened out, but obviously she needs to be making sure she's getting treatment for depression and not just stop it and if she's not happy with her meds, as many people are not, it's back to the doctor to change meds or the dosage.
 
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YES I think there are some red flags, let me know what you think

Dyed her hair a different color
dressing up a little more than normal
After years of saying no - she now has a facebook
she just recently got a couple new tattoos and now wants a "sleeve"
she has always listened to music but now i notice her listening to it louder and more ofter, car is always blaring loud, never was like that ever
Just as I suspected. You need to do some digging here. A few will continue to harp on the depression angle but you have a wife who wants to play single woman. The tattoo, dying of hair, new music interest point to a possible new guy she’s attracted to or is already involved with.

Like I said in my last post, you better find out exactly where she’s going twice a week and who is there. Even if it’s at her sister’s place, who else is there? A 32 year old woman off of her meds that all of a sudden is acting like she is tired of being a wife and mom, may instead want to play cougar to her sister’s friends.
 

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Would the antidepressants throw her in a funk and should i be worried?
What antidepressants was she on? That can make a difference too.

How long has it been since she stopped taking her meds?
 

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SSRI's and the like are POWERFUL POWERFUL drugs that can dramatically alter a person's behavior. They are notorious for killing sexual desire. Suddenly going off them after years of being on a smorgasbord of drugs? Ooof... good luck.
 
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