[blackclover3]

https://www.reddit.com/r/SupportforWaywards/comments/108xbui


My story if it helps

Outside Perspectives Welcomed
I have been told that knowing more about my story may help to get better answers.
I 36 and my Bh 37 have been together 15 years married for 12. We have 2 boys.
My husband was the first real love I had. Swept me off my feet. Always made me laugh. It was love, pure love. We were young but we had each other. We had a small wedding and built our lives from there.

He has a great job and I was a sahm for many years once our first was born. When the our youngest got into school I thought it would be good to work again. Nothing full time just enough to keep me busy til the boys got home. I found a little part-time job the was office bound.
Over the course of the year I worked there I became friendly with a coworker. I guess we will call him Chris. Chris was a few years younger. I never had many friends, some moved away and others moved on with life I was a little lonely. All I had was my family. At first it was small talk and pleasantries but over time we would talk about anything from movies to television to politics. For months it was only talk in the office but soon he started texting me. The texts were innocent at first or so I thought. Looking back I know different. After about 4 months he started getting flirty, I just laughed at first and played along. He was relentless. I learned later on I was in an emotional affair.
As we texted more my husband started noticing me on my phone more. He would bring it up and question. I told him it was just a friend because I thought it was. But I was caught in the moment.

Fast forward to Oct 2021 Chris and I got closer. Coming back after lunch Chris kissed me out of nowhere. I didn't do anything, he kissed me again and I kissed back. I regret it. But I didn't stop. We started to get more physical. In early Dec 2021 is when we had sex the first time. I left at my usual time and Chris left work early. He brought me to his apartment. One thing led to another. We would have sex 2 more times.

Over that time I grew distant from my husband. I even spent less time with my boys. Glued to my phone.
Dday was Jan15 2022. I was at the store doing grocery shopping. By the time I got home I saw a car in my driveway. I didn't know who it was. As I walked in the house I saw my husband sitting at the table with another woman. She looked serious, but my husband and I will never forget his face looked a mixture of anger and sadness. I asked what's going on. My husband looked at me with tears and asked me is there anything he should know. I said no. He looked at the woman and she introduced herself as Rebecca, Chris's wife.
I didn't know Chris was married. He never wore a ring. The few times I was at his apartment I met him there after he was home. He moved all the pictures. Rebecca had become suspicious of Chris and checked his phone one night. She knew it all. Took screenshots of everything. She found out where I lived by following me home one day. She showed my husband everything. My husband asked me if it was true. I didn't know what say, he asked again I said yes and broke down crying.

Rebecca got up walked towards me and called me many things but quietly as my boys where in their room. She told my husband she would stay in touch and left.
I was full on crying and went to my husband apologizing. He told me to pack clothes and leave. I didn't want to. I had the kids and I didn't want to leave my husband. He told me again to go again. He got up grabbed some luggage and started packing my clothes. Told me to go to mother's. For 2 months I was at my mother's. I quit my job. Blocked Chris. I picked the boys up from school and my husband picked them up from me. I tried talking to my husband everyday. I begged for another chance and couples counseling.
In March he came by mother's house to talk. He asked me to come home. It took months to get an opening for counseling. I started IC before that. We have been healing since I came home. Rebuilding what I broke. I didn't make a mistake, I made a choice. A choice I wish I could take back.

I have told this story to help me going forward here. So when I ask questions or reach out for help people have a better understanding.

 

[blackclover3]

@TrailTrekker
@TrailTrekker

 

[Jakobs]

Amazing how the apologies start no sooner than when putting the underwear back on.

Zero impulse control.

Animals.

 

[jsmart]

That is a textbook example of how the workplace affairs start and progress. Notice how she started to prioritize the OM, even at the expense of her own kids. She immediately begged for forgiveness because the OBS was there and she provided all of the evidence. But if it was just the BH confronting with, let’s say text messages he found, she may have pushed back or not have been as apologetic.

That is why exposure to the OBS should be done immediately; not after you talk to lawyer or after you divorce or other stuff I see some advice on this forum.

 

[blackclover3]

That is a textbook example of how the workplace affairs start and progress. Notice how she started to prioritize the OM, even at the expense of her own kids. She immediately begged for forgiveness because the OBS was there and she provided all of the evidence. But if it was just the BH confronting with, let’s say text messages he found, she may have pushed back or not have been as apologetic.

That is why exposure to the OBS should be done immediately; not after you talk to lawyer or after you divorce or other stuff I see some advice on this forum.

she is like I didnt know Chris was married - LOOL she didnt care about her husband when she made the decision to cheat

 

[Jakobs]

That is a textbook example of how the workplace affairs start and progress. Notice how she started to prioritize the OM, even at the expense of her own kids. She immediately begged for forgiveness because the OBS was there and she provided all of the evidence. But if it was just the BH confronting with, let’s say text messages he found, she may have pushed back or not have been as apologetic.

That is why exposure to the OBS should be done immediately; not after you talk to lawyer or after you divorce or other stuff I see some advice on this forum.

And this is yet another great example of how women are MUCH BETTER at spotting infidelity than men.

 

[jsmart]

she is like I didnt know Chris was married - LOOL she didnt care about her husband when she made the decision to cheat

There was a similar response from Walloped’s FWW when he had the OBS on the phone. “I didn’t know he was still married “. To which the OBS replied, no but you knew you were you ****ing *****. man that was delicious. Mrs W cried out loud in self pity.

As a side note, I know she’s thought of as some model FWW over on SI but to me I she really comes across as insincere. Maybe it’s her writing style. Which is so different from W. Reading his words, you really felt his pain. That thread is a tear jerker.

 

[ShatteredKat]

Lack of Integrity, Piss-poor character, Brain chemicals over-riding boundaries, lack respect for husband & children and wedding vows, and (should I mention?) just plain SELFISH behavior.

No mention in the posting regarding anything remotely close to EMPATHY!

He should have tossed her into the local dumpster.

 

[blackclover3]

Lack of Integrity, Piss-poor character, Brain chemicals over-riding boundaries, lack respect for husband & children and wedding vows, and (should I mention?) just plain SELFISH behavior.

No mention in the posting regarding anything remotely close to EMPATHY!

He should have tossed her into the local dumpster.

what drives me crazy is, how after all of this they can forgive a cheater and work on marriage - her update on the thread above is that her in-laws dont talk to her - and it is always going to be like that even if they forgive.
I'm why do you forgive and not find someone else?? I'm certain if the husband had done that she would've walked away or kicked him out and took all his money.

how can you live knowing your wife or husband slept with someone else

 

[Tatsuhiko]

As a side note, I know she’s thought of as some model FWW over on SI but to me I she really comes across as insincere.

I remember Walloped's wife as an enthusiastic swallower. I really wonder how he stayed with her, especially as his children were already grown.

 

[Megaforce]

There was a similar response from Walloped’s FWW when he had the OBS on the phone. “I didn’t know he was still married “. To which the OBS replied, no but you knew you were you ing *. man that was delicious. Mrs W cried out loud in self pity.

As a side note, I know she’s thought of as some model FWW over on SI but to me I she really comes across as insincere. Maybe it’s her writing style. Which is so different from W. Reading his words, you really felt his pain. That thread is a tear jerker.

Yes, Mrs. Walloped. Quite the manipulator. Odds are their marriage has sucked going forward. I expect the same will be true for the cheater in this story.

 

[Megaforce]

I remember Walloped's wife as an enthusiastic swallower. I really wonder how he stayed with her, especially as his children were already grown.

Swallowed plus anal, as I recall. Poor guy went doormat.

 

[Jakobs]

Swallowed plus anal, as I recall. Poor guy went doormat.

Isn't that always the case?

I know of a man who stayed together with a wife who was unwilling to perform oral on him. They were together for 30 years. Eventually he got fed up and divorced her. He then went on to marry the ugliest human being I've seen this side of the Jurassic. BUT she gives him head twice a day.

He looks like the happiest 55 year old I've ever seen in my life. Like really REALLY happy.

It's the little things...

 

[farsidejunky]

In the past, we have addressed this tendency to post about posters (specifically about WW's) on other sites in a negative light. Walloped in particular was the subject of a lengthy thread, at which time he was made aware, joined this site, and jumped into the fray...chaos ensued. It was a bad look for the posters, and this site.

I say that to say this: feel free to gossip via PM, but it will not be tolerated in the open forums.

If you feel so compelled to post about Mrs. W, feel free to join SI and post where she can actually read the stuff you are posting; it's not welcome here.

Closed.

Sent from my Pixel 6 using Tapatalk