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Step-by-step instructions for a Christian man in a sexless marriage

26K views 76 replies 18 participants last post by  Hoosier 
I am a believer (to me that means I believe Jesus is the sacrifice that cleanses me of my sins so that I can appear pure to God the father).

I also believe that marriage exist for many biblical reasons, and sex is one of those big reasons. I believe marriage gives us a sacred place for us to indulge in what would otherwise be considered sin. If someone is avoiding or withholding sex, why are you even married, divorce already.

A verse that comes to mind

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried,
as I do.*But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry,*for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
- 1 Corinthians 7:8
Yep, that's the core of this rotten apple. I wonder how many personal outlooks and romantic unions are needlessly complicated by Saint Paul's screwed-up & very pathologically human attitude toward sex. "Better to marry than burn" is a profoundly sh1tty endorsement of marriage and sex alike.

One defense is that Paul believed the second coming was close at hand, and that his correspondents needed to focus urgently on the spiritual rather than the earthly because of that imminence. If so, this vital context is rarely acknowledged. The epistles are presented as God's unchanging and unimpeachable view of human sexuality, now and forever, amen. It's a prescription for repression & toxic shame.
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