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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
IN my state the 2 spouses have to sign and notarize a "marital agreement" between each other. I took this paper to STBXH mother on Monday to have him sign it in front of a notary and then return it to me. I gave her the paper a week ago and he keeps giving me false deadlines on when he will return them, first he could get them to me Saturday, Saturday turned into Monday and now Monday is Tuesday. I'm not sure if he has been served with the divorce papers yet, he has 20 days to respond and then the process really starts, so I want to make sure I have all the necessary paperwork ready to be filed, when that day comes. After all the paperwork is finally filed, we have an additional 90 day waiting period (new state law), before our divorce will be final. Why is he dragging his feet? This is so frustrating. What can I do to make him move faster? He had an affair with his married co-worker, at first wanted to file for divorce 2 weeks after we separated and now he is dragging his feet getting it done. His excuse today was he went snowboarding....:mad:
 

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OMG! Snowboarding? Really. (shaking my head)

If he is resentful toward you then he's just trying to tweak your nose. Could be other things but geez. How immature.

What's his mother's attitude toward you? toward his OW? and toward him?

It could be she's giving him counsel to delay the signing. He could have promised her to "think about what he's doing". Do you and your MIL get along okay?

IF his mom is "on your side" and doesn't want the divorce to proceed you might just want to give her a call (One single call) and let her know there is no hope for reconciliation and you'd appreciate it if he respected you enough to not keep you on hold.
 

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What do you mean by he has 20 days to respond? Is that a deadline of your own making or some legal thing?
 

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Could you file in Nevada or another state? Sorry if this is a daft question, but in the UK (well, except for some differences in Scottish law, laws are pretty much the same throughout the UK.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
OMG! Snowboarding? Really. (shaking my head)

If he is resentful toward you then he's just trying to tweak your nose. Could be other things but geez. How immature.

What's his mother's attitude toward you? toward his OW? and toward him?

It could be she's giving him counsel to delay the signing. He could have promised her to "think about what he's doing". Do you and your MIL get along okay?

IF his mom is "on your side" and doesn't want the divorce to proceed you might just want to give her a call (One single call) and let her know there is no hope for reconciliation and you'd appreciate it if he respected you enough to not keep you on hold.
His mother and I were friends before I ever started dating him. We get a long well. She has been very nice and helpful (as far as being the middle man for me, when I have not wanted to see him)...she is the type of lady that is 100% behind her son. I do however wonder, if she has disagreed with his choices, just because she has seemed to be supportive of my daughter and I during this whole thing. I have chosen not to speak with her about my feelings (since my STBXH is her son and I do not want to put her in the middle of things or make her uncomfortable). And yes, the snowboarding thing was a joke. I will see if he follows through with signing them tomorrow. I have told him, I do not want our divorce to go through on our would-be "wedding anniversary"...:mad:
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
What do you mean by he has 20 days to respond? Is that a deadline of your own making or some legal thing?
No after the person is served, they "legally" have 20 days to respond to the summons...anyway that is the way I understood it...
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Could you file in Nevada or another state? Sorry if this is a daft question, but in the UK (well, except for some differences in Scottish law, laws are pretty much the same throughout the UK.
No your question is fine. I live in Utah, it is a new law. I guess they are wanting people to have a thinking period, maybe to reconcile...
 

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You will end up with a divorce by default if he doesn't sign right?? Maybe if you ignore him and start acting like you don't care, it may get done.
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Kaya62003,

I gotta be honest. It sounds like you are raising the question "Why is H dragging his feet?" because either you want it confirmed that he is an a-hole or you want to hear that he may still have feelings for you. Or both.

If he has 20 days, he is by no means dragging his feet. It's only been 3 days, 2 of which were over the weekend. Maybe he's just lazy or busy doing other things. Remember this is someone who acts in his own self-interest - he'll "get around to it" when he's ready. You're wondering why he hasn't leapt to it and wondering what it means. I'm just saying, don't focus on it. :)
 

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Kaya62003,

I gotta be honest. It sounds like you are raising the question "Why is H dragging his feet?" because either you want it confirmed that he is an a-hole or you want to hear that he may still have feelings for you. Or both.

If he has 20 days, he is by no means dragging his feet. It's only been 3 days, 2 of which were over the weekend. Maybe he's just lazy or busy doing other things. Remember this is someone who acts in his own self-interest - he'll "get around to it" when he's ready. You're wondering why he hasn't leapt to it and wondering what it means. I'm just saying, don't focus on it. :)
Screw him (your husband, not staystrong).
 
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Kaya62003,

I gotta be honest. It sounds like you are raising the question "Why is H dragging his feet?" because either you want it confirmed that he is an a-hole or you want to hear that he may still have feelings for you. Or both.

If he has 20 days, he is by no means dragging his feet. It's only been 3 days, 2 of which were over the weekend. Maybe he's just lazy or busy doing other things. Remember this is someone who acts in his own self-interest - he'll "get around to it" when he's ready. You're wondering why he hasn't leapt to it and wondering what it means. I'm just saying, don't focus on it. :)
No I really do not care if he wants me back or trying to overanalyze why he hasn't signed it or not. All I am saying is...he wanted to file ASAP when I discovered his affair, I decided after 4 weeks of waiting for him to do it, that I would do it. Yes, he is taking his time and it is annoying. He has 20 days to respond to the summons on the divorce papers, not 20 days to get the papers back to me. I am saying because we have at least 4 months to wait after he signs, I would like to have all "MY NECESSARY" paperwork ready to be filed (after he responds)...if you do not stay on top of him with things, it will never get done. If it serves him...it is done immediately...if it serves me..."he'll get around to it". I just want to be done and having him wait is annoying. And I did not pay the money I paid to "bluff" and see if he really does still love me and want to work things out.
 

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Kaya62003,

I gotta be honest. It sounds like you are raising the question "Why is H dragging his feet?" because either you want it confirmed that he is an a-hole or you want to hear that he may still have feelings for you. Or both.

If he has 20 days, he is by no means dragging his feet. It's only been 3 days, 2 of which were over the weekend. Maybe he's just lazy or busy doing other things. Remember this is someone who acts in his own self-interest - he'll "get around to it" when he's ready. You're wondering why he hasn't leapt to it and wondering what it means. I'm just saying, don't focus on it. :)
But he demanded the divorce in the first place so he could get it on and perform acts of carnal congress, never before attempted by humankind, with his new Inamorata, but blessed by the comforting confines of a marriage license.:rolleyes:

Maybe her husband won't let her go play? :scratchhead: Who knows why he is delaying?
 

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In Texas there is a plan B.

I sent ex the papers to sign before I moved out of Florida.

I sent more papers from Texas. I contacted him he said no problem.

I sent them again. (He said he never got them...whatever...)

I went through the Sheriff's office in Fl. They attempted to serve him 3 times. No contact. Send me proof of attempts, I get to file uncontested.

Win for me!

(60 days here! Plus, I was able to do it all on my own, just a matter of filing papers, reading on the internet, and asking questions. The whole thing cost me $294.)
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
But he demanded the divorce in the first place so he could get it on and perform acts of carnal congress, never before attempted by humankind, with his new Inamorata, but blessed by the comforting confines of a marriage license.:rolleyes:

Maybe her husband won't let her go play? :scratchhead: Who knows why he is delaying?
Very true!!! However, as I have previously stated...they can have each other...there will be no reconciling on my part :p
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Okay, but 3 days doesn't constitute foot dragging.

That's only 15% of his allotted time.
I realize you are trying to be helpful. However, I gave his mom the paperwork on Monday January 28 and we are going on a week now.
 
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